Ext. VIRGINIA MASON ATHLETIC CENTER (VMAC) – Renton, WA

A third floor conference room. Pete Carroll is wrapping up a conversation with members of the Army’s 7th Division

Pete Carroll: …and that, fellas, is why I think the Space Needle has been sabotaged just like the World Trade Centers. Any questions?

Major General Thomas James: No Pete. I think I speak for the entire command of Joint Base Lewis–McChord when I say that’s a … uhh …. very interesting perspective on the threats faced by the Pacific Northwest at this time.

PC: Why, thank you sir. (offers salute) If you like, I can email you my plans for defending the Pike Place Market?

✩✩: (ignores salute) No, I don’t think that will be necessary. Just hand them over to the sergeant here, and I’ll make sure they get sent to IMCOM for strategic analysis. Alright team, let’s head back to base. Traffic on the 5 is going to be brutal.

PC: You should have brought the helicopter, like I suggested. You coulda landed right on the practice field.

✩✩: Yes. Anyway, thanks again for the invite, Pete. We’ll get back to you soon. (exits room)

PC: Thank you again, sir. (offers salute; scratches head awkwardly instead) [Hands pink folder labeled “PROJECT FISH TOSS” to sergeant]

Army Sergeant: Thanks coach. Good luck with the season. (exits room)

A phone on the conference table rings. Pete Carroll puts it on speaker.

Female voice: Mr. Carroll?

PC: Yes, what is it?

FV: Mr Schneider requests your presence on his exercise range.

PC: **sighs** Okay. Give me five minutes.

Pete Carroll walks down a hallway to a staircase. Gingerly, he pushes on the bar, poking his head outside, like a rabbit peeking out of it’s hole.

PC: Holy Hell!

Seahawks GM John Schneider: Ha! Looks like you’re going to have to give Tom (Cable) one of his dollars back.

PC: Can’t make me. You’re not Pat Haden.

JS: Didja shit your pants?

PC: (ignores crack) So, John, what do you want to talk about? Did you finally read those draft projections I made up for you?

JS: Yes. And I have some questions. Firstly, these schools you listed – Alabama, Utah, Flo…rida – are they real programs? They sound like states to me. I think one of them is a rapper.

PC: Yes they are John. They are both – for example, Alabama are the Crimson Tide, and the university is in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Florida is a state and a university in Gainesville. Flo-rida is the hip-hop artist.

JS: Is he white, like Macklemore?

PC: Uhh, no.

JS: Then what do I care. Anyway, do you think these schools have what we’re looking for? None of them have “Saint” in front of them. Do they even play football?

PC: Yes, John, they do. Now, if you’ll just look at these sheets I’ve brought…

JS: I mean, I don’t remember any of those schools from Division-III. Pete, did you know I played ball at St. Thomas?

PC: Yes sir. You bring it up every year about this time.

JS: GO TOMMIES!

PC: (sighs quietly) Now, I’ve narrowed down our list of prospects. We pick 26th in the first round, so who we want and who we’ll get are two different things. Now, Tom & I figured that we…

JS: By the way Pete, where is Tom?

PC: Down in his car. I had to send him there while the Army was visiting. The testosterone boost would probably have overflowed the swear jar. Anyway, our needs primarily seem to be…

JS: Is he alone?

PC: Don’t worry, I cracked a window. Besides, he’s watching the cheerleader tryouts. That’ll keep him occupied.

JS: Is his shock collar attached?

PC: You don’t hear screaming, do you?

JS: Good. I don’t need another lecture from HR. Now, about those players?

PC: Well, the scouting staff have narrowed our need to the offensive & defensive lines. They’ve focused on 9 kids in total, people figured to be available when our pick comes around.

JS: Do they all go to the same school?

PC: A couple of them do, yes. But mostly we’ll have to go visit them on their campuses and interview them.

JS: Visit them? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!

PC: Oh God!

JS: ROAD TRIP!