Agent Dale Cooper (to handheld recorder): Diane, I have checked in to my accommodations at 21c Museum Hotel. Situated on the 18th floor, the malfunction of one elevator means either taking the stairs — at nearly 500 feet above sea level — or a lengthy wait to get to or from the lobby. Less this minor inconvenience, the room is cozy, clean, and serviced by competent hospitality industry professionals. I expect to receive both the coroner’s report regarding the death of Ben Gal’s near-rookie Lin Sue as well as a local breakfast platter that centers around a local breakfast delicacy, goetta.
A knock is heard and Cooper sets down his recorder to open the door.
Officer Kaur: Agent Cooper, here is the coroner’s report. Your copy is sealed but, just between you, me, and the Banski on the wall here, I think you’ll find page 22 especially interesting.
Cooper: You’re a strange and dark little man, Kaur. Did anything at the scene stand out to you?
Kaur: I don’t want to reveal anything beyond what the chief warrants but, as far as my account, I think the Ohio is nothing more than a dump site. There’s no signs of a struggle here. I mean, whoever did this was trying to kill her. She wasn’t beaten or stabbed, you know, the perp just went right for her throat.
Cooper: How clean is the site? Any witnesses? What about the jogger who found her?
Kaur: Still in progress. The jogger had ran by the site about 30 minutes earlier but says she could have simply not noticed the body down the bank on her first pass. No one else seems to be volunteering any information otherwise. I don’t think we’re going to find any smoking guns, proverbial or otherwise, there. But we’ll see what the dive crew turns up. Flows have been strong and that never bodes well for us.
Cooper: What’s next for your office?
Kaur: Discretion of the chief but the case is public now so it’s probably going to be doubling back on the initial case reports, compiling a list of suspects, looking in to Ms Sue’s past — it’s already turning up quite checkered — and, finally, reaching out to the public. Do you still see this as an FBI matter, Agent Cooper?
Cooper: I’m starting to wonder myself, Kaur. Look, give it to me straight; you’ve read the reports so how do you see this murder?
Kaur: Listen to all the teachers in the woods. Watch the trees, the animals and all the living things. You’ll learn more from them than reports.
Kaur nods his head and turns to walk down the 18 flights of stairs to the lobby. Cooper closes the door and paces the room thumbing through the report.
Cooper: Let’s see here. Looks like toxicology is still out; I can guess what that means. Marks around her neck. Open wounds. Multiple fibers discovered. Phone missing. This is a mess. Fucking city cops couldn’t investigate a crime scene if a magnifying glass was stolen from a camera factory. Wouldn’t be surprised if one of these hicks jacked off all over the victim’s purse just to get his name on the news. Christ, where is my room service? I need to get something in me if I’m going to have any ammo to stay on this case when I report back to to the regional field office this afternoon.
A knock is heard and Cooper sets down the file on his bed as he approaches the door.
Just in time! I’ve heard so many good things about Glier’s and am truly looking forward to trying this taste of Cincin–
— Door Flies Open —
I’d say it was a little bit of rival team invasion and intimidation, but it said she wasn’t beaten or stabbed so Messrs. Rice and Lewis are cleared.
Ooooh, a cliffhanger!
Btw, “you’re a strange and dark little man” is a great David Lynchian line.
A mercy killing
I’d say Mike Brown is the shooter, but he wouldn’t be willing to pay for the bullets.
I’d say the shooter is Andy Dalton, but the bullet would have landed wide of the target.
I’d say the shooter is Aqib Talib but the bullet would have landed in his own leg.