2017 Quotables – Wild Card Round (Submissions)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Playoffs huh? I’m more of a Browns 0-16 Parade kind of guy myself.

Well, I’m not here to comment on the quality of the games, gamesmanship, or game day experience. Though I will admit that I did watch the Bills game to the extend that I turned it on, literally, one play before Tyrod Taylor got hurt (so what, like, 10 minutes in real time?) and then Nathan Peterman came in and sealed the proverbial deal. Holy cow, that poor bastard. I mean, he’ll surely be forgotten about by the end of next year but — sheesh. That’s a rough NFL performance.

Have you ever gone to a blackjack table with $100, bought for a heaping stack of five $20 chips — and proceeded to go broke on bust, bust, bad beat, push, double down & bad beat? That’s about Nathan Peterman’s career. Just a slow death by eroding capital.

Then I watched former Cardinal turned Jag, Calais Campbell, do a post game interview and thought about how great it would have been to have him and NFL sack leader, Chandler Jones, on the same line. But instead Bruce Arians drove Calais out of the desert a year before retiring himself. No future no biscuit, as we say here in the desert.

Anyways, here are your Wild Card Quotables. Make me proud. Make me [shakes fist]…


Bill Cowher went from a VERY successful player, to a top coach . . . to a beloved T.V. Celebrity (on his first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius . . . and a very stable genius at that!

Jared “The Human Highlight Reel” Goff

I haven’t seen a cameraman this afraid of a Big Cat since assignments were handed out for the one episode of Barstool Van Talk.

Airheads are the new Skittles.

Marcus Mariotta is basically Bizarro Nathan Peterman.

Presented without comment

Travis Kelce prepares to enter the NFL’s Living Will Protocol.

I have no idea. You do something with this.

BONUS I have no idea. You do something with this ACTION!
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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walkingthedogballsofsteelandfuryJerBear50Petronelmonty this seems strange to me Recent comment authors
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walkingthedog
walkingthedog

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They will show you the latest in .gif mobile technology, but not how to get a Peterman Jersey

P.S. I have a problem

ballsofsteelandfury

“Ok, now zoom in on the tit!”

JerBear50
JerBear50

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Good to see Snoop finally found a team he can support after showing such loyalty all these years.