Your “Man, I’m Dreading The Offseason” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Someone made the Grumble Lord mad by asking about the ESPN piece on the alleged dissention in Cheattown.
    • Funnier still, they asked if he was considering the vacant Giants position. He responded by saying he was absolutely coaching the Patriots in 2018.
      • There aren’t enough available moms in the tri-state area to make that happen.
  • The Panthers have fired OC Mike Shula & QB coach Ken Dorsey, a purely coincidental move given how the Panthers lost to the Saints.
    • Somehow, Mike Shula lasted seven years with the Panthers.
    • Don’t fret for Riverboat Ron: He’s gotten a two-year extension.
  • Antonio Brown is back practicing with the Steelers.
    • He was working out with Ochocinco in Florida prior to returning to the team.

Finally, in a genuinely touching gesture, the Vikings have gifted tickets to their playoff game to a 100 year-old lady & lifelong fan.

  • She attended games back in the Bud Grant era, in the old Metropolitan Stadium. She was 59 the last time the Vikings played in a Super Bowl.
  • From reading about 4-5 versions of the story, it seems a granddaughter wrote the team to mention she was turning 100 and was a lifelong fan, but had never been to a playoff game.

World War One Armistice Anniversary:

1918 2018 (thanks SoS & WCS) marks 100 years since the end of the First World War. As a History teacher, and with the looming offseason content mine needing another tunnel, I thought I’d fill in certain dates on the calendar with historical remembrances in the Open Threads. Since I devoted 2017 to some Canada 150 observations, I feel I can get away with this too.

Yesterday, January 8th, marks the 100th anniversary of President Woodrow Wilson’s “Fourteen Points“.

The US joined the war in April 1917, due to the “unrestrained, unprovoked aggression of the Imperial German government”, which was the German campaign of “unrestricted submarine warfare” they began in February 1917 in an attempt to starve Britain into surrender. [An published secondary reason was that the US needed to protect its investment if Britain and France lost, the US government would lose all the credit it had both extended and guaranteed to those two countries, resulting in a possible economic collapse from a war they never participated in.]

To sell the war to US voters, President Woodrow Wilson conceived his “Fourteen Points”. These points stated desired US outcomes in exchange for their participation in Europe’s war. They were needed as a ‘reason’ for why the “New World” had to go assist the “Old World”, to convince skeptical, isolationist US voters, to whom US politicians are beholden.

The 14 Points can be broken down into 4 components:

  1. how to prevent future wars → Sections 1-4
  2. dealing with Germany → Sections 6-8
  3. accommodating oppressed nationalities → Sections 9-13
  4. post-war war prevention and conflict resolution → Section 14

The document is consistent with US isolationist beliefs, because the proposed “League of Nations” (Section 14) and redesigned world would hopefully prevent the US from having to fight in future wars. It helped sell the people on the necessity for joining the war, and the brevity of time the US was involved prevented the rise of a large anti-participation movement.

Counter-argument: World War Two.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Oilers at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Heat at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN
    • Portland at OKC – 8:00PM | NBA TV
    • Kings at Lakers – 10:30PM | TSN / NBA TV
  • NCAA:
    I miss red-ass Gene Keady’s hair.
    • Georgetown at St. John’s – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Baylor at West Virginia – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Texas A&M at Kentucky – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Butler at Creighton – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Iowa State at Kansas – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Purdue at Michigan – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

I’m actually okay with last night’s Championship game result. Alabama actually had to play hard to win, unlike previous seasons where it seemed like the trophy was pre-ordained.

Plus, to reiterate Brocky’s point from last night:

You’re surprised? This is hardly the first time we’ve seen a team based in Georgia that blew a halftime lead in a championship game against a team made of pure evil.

Besides, everyone knows the true national champions are UCF. UNDEFEATED, Y’ALL!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Wakezilla

Johnny Manziel is now holding out on the Hamilton Tiger Cats because he wants to be one of the highest paid players in the league. LOL.

Looks like someone will be joining the XXFL

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Successful bilateral confirmation that Sharkbait and BFC are not imaginary. Good times.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Neither imaginary or murderers! Good times were had by all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good evening everybody. I have a quick question.

So those people insisting that the fire at the Clinton propery is some kind of conspiracy or criminal act…what the fuck are they on about? I mean, if I have something that I need destroyed by fire (and not chemicals, or fed to hogs, or whatever, let’s say it absolutely HAS to be fire), the last thing I’m gonna do is burn it INSIDE THE HOUSE.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There isn’t a thing the Clintons could do that the Right wouldn’t find a conspiracy theory in. Or not do, e.g. Pizzagate. These people are unwell and believe all sorts of craziness spoonfed to them.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok Sharky, I’m heading your way. What do you look like?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Gray shirt blue zip up

Wakezilla

A few days ago, I said how my hockey pool is best when I’m winning, because I’m a great shit talker without the personal attacks.

Well, the friend who drafted McDavid, who I like to call McBust because he isn’t scoring much this year, lost his shit. I then suggested he should drop him, to which he lost his shit even more.

As much as I could easily retort and tell him to take the sand out of his piss hole, I won’t, as you gotta think his life must be in the dumps to go off on a half hearted pun.

This is my cross to bear today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I finally put together scenarios for a TEN win at NE. None involve magnets or human trafficking.

Senor Weaselo

Do they involve Bernard Pollard and quarterbackicide?

Don T

Something simple. Like Eric Decker plus stickum. Applied to his ass and fused to the bench. USE TAYWAN TAYLOR YOU MEETHEDS1!!1!!

Senor Weaselo

What could be more simple than my proposal?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sharky, how long are you staying at that bar?

Don T

Hey, you still want a non-alcoholic drink suggestion? Club soda and juice. Sometimes the brain goes “what a shitty screwdriver”,

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I had a Bitburger Drive n/a beer. It was as you night expect.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Still here. Gray shirt. Blue zip up

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Not sure. Little bit longer I think.

rockingdog
rockingdog
WCS

Real rager in here tonight!

JerBear50
JerBear50

/yells over crowd
WHAAATTTTT??

WCS

//yells back
YEAH, GET ME A BEER AND A SOFT PRETZEL!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

A DEER AND A LOFT PUZZLE?

WCS

WAIT, WHAT ABOUT MUZZLED STEER?!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

THEY DON’T SELL MUSSELS HERE!

Senor Weaselo

NOW I WANT A PRETZEL!

rockingdog
rockingdog

almost half way thru Fire and Fury.
Its cool. Goes into the strategy & relationships of the white house….
Bitchy Bannon vs Pebuis vs Kushner

JerBear50
JerBear50

Soooo… a hundred year old woman navigating a football stadium during the playoffs in Minnesota in January. No way that could go badly.

Don T

“Counter-argument: World War Two”
Cabrón 🏆

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Quick check in from the left coast. West coast beers are fantastic. Currently enjoying a Santa Monica XPA. Although Sin City had some fine offerings.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where you at, Sharky?

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Laurel Tavern in Studio City

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m going to be at Timmy Nolan’s like ten minutes from there later tonight. Happy to buy you a beer if you’re out later.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

What’s your time frame?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll be there in about an hour

JerBear50
JerBear50

Me too!
/checks flights
Umm, give or take.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I’ll probably still be at Laurel. Mrs. Sharkbait is meeting a college friend

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This bar is right next to a place called Sharky’s, I shit you not.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

That’s amazing.

Senor Weaselo

Sweet Baby Jesus and Reddi Whip. Definitely not the worst thing I have ever drank, even if not quite the best.

Senor Weaselo

The worst thing I have ever drank, in case you’re wondering.
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WCS

Did it taste like sweat and leather?

Senor Weaselo

I wish, because that would’ve been improvement.

Senor Weaselo

Update: The whipped cream got the beer flavor, not the other way around. Would have possibly worked better if I had stirred more

JerBear50
JerBear50

How’d you get him to hold still?

Senor Weaselo

WWBWS? (What would Blair Walsh say?)

SonOfSpam

“1918 marks 100 years since the end of the First World War.”

Canadia’s calendars are way different from ours.

WCS

Stoopid metric system.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I’m watching the new version of A&E Intervention…”The Heroin Triangle”…

Its is hilarious in how tone deaf racist it is. Its basically following a bunch of burned out suburban kids in Atlanta as their families try to do various interventions.

Of course they go into the “bad” areas…aka the black neighborhood, where they act like its a fucking war zone. Never mind that these “poor” white kids are doing scams and crimes non-stop….they are the victims. English Avenue and Vine City is not even all that “bad” of an area in Atlanta anymore.

And it would be doing a hell of a lot better if there were better jobs than rich suburban kids flooding the area with cash to score heroin.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Its funny mentioning WWI. I had one of our new hires bugging the shit out of me. For reasons I cannot fathom, these kids come to me with fucking questions about everything under the sun.

In this particular case, the kid was asking me about taxes. And pretty much every single response from me was along the lines of “No it does not work that way”…

At one point, one of the kids went on a rant about how millennials (which I am technically one I guess) have had it the worst in all of human history. Never one to let things go, and also because I read history books like fucking crazy out at sea when in the navy, I explain the utter shit show that was the WWI generation, dealing with the Spanish Flu pandemic, the collapse of the empires, the great depression, and the start of WWII.

To which the kid responded, “Yeah but we are like ignored by society…its like we are lost”.

“I swear to god if you refer to yourself as a member of a ‘lost generation’, I am barring you from ever entering my lab again”

“Why?!?”

WCS

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JerBear50
JerBear50

Quite the movable organic, farm-to-table, locally sourced ironic feast.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Glad u got that off your chest.

litre_cola

The Ice Bills have given up on their season and it is embarrassing. Ice Bombers are skating circles around them

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Senor Weaselo

What is… Danica and her racing sponsors? I’ll take “Fire” Emblem for $200.

Senor Weaselo

Well that went as expected.

Wakezilla

Calvin Johnson, Hobo Reed, Charles Woodson and Dave Dickenson?

It warms my Maple syrup heart that Dickenson, Maple fououtball Hall of Fame QB, but not a guy Yanks would remember, is going into the College Football Hall of Fame with YUGE NFL names.

Wakezilla

Ah, Wilson’s 14 points plan sounded good. Too bad it didn’t apply to most of the nation’s on the planet when they sought sovereignty from their colonizers. Oopsy daisies.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Still better than Wilson’s XLIX points plan

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Redshirt

This is the first time I diagnosed this play, and good grief, its even worse than I thought.

0. Marshawn Lynch!!!!!!
1. The two WRs are next to each other, one behind the other. The defense responds with a similar formation. Which means the CB has less room to go defend the pass.
2. This defense would work better in zone, but a DB follows a WR in motion. Saying their most likely playing man-to-man. That means a CB is going to be running directly to the WR on his route.
3. Wilson looks right at the WR but doesn’t throw right away. There is all but a big video game like down arrow over the intended receiver.
4. The pass route wasn’t even to the hash mark. That gave the CB that knew who was getting the ball even less room to run and intercept the pass.
5. The only way this play would’ve worked, would’ve been to line up the intended receiver to the left of the blocking receiver, giving the CB more space to make up.

So in conclusion, Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson bet on the Patriots and threw the game. Its the only reasonable conclusion.

Senor Weaselo

The conspiracy theorist IS the conspiracy theory! It all fits! Wake up sheeple!

Senor Weaselo

Hey, St. John’s is the national game… aaaaand they’re down 7, goddammit.
/Granted they lost to DePaul by 17 in Jamaica… the one in Queens, wiseasses.

WCS

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

The NFL offseason is looming. Time to get into Aussie Rules soon.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ay, mate

Redshirt
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Redshirt

Until my dying breath, it will always feel weird seeing the corrupt warden from Shawshank Redemption as a troubled Sci-Fi captain.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

World War I is the epitome of why war is stupid and achieves nothing, why international alliances and empire are bad, and why Europe should be vaporized from orbit.

And yet 100 years later we seem to have learned none of these fucking lessons in practice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You had me up until vaporizing Europe.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

At the very least every aristocratic family still alive and all of their remaining ruling class.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d like to save vaporization for a final solution (oh shit, did I just say that?).

Just take their power away. No need to scorch ’em.

Redshirt

Final Solution. I thought this was a liberal-leaning website, not far-right.

Senor Weaselo

I prefer Final Destination. Both the movies and the Smash stage.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nope. Death.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m out.
Have a nice night folks.

If death is your first solution, then maybe look in a fucking mirror.

Redshirt

Alliances and Empires are fine. But they should used for the Common Good and peace. If it wasn’t for all the damned alliances, all World War I would’ve been was a small footnote where Austria and Serbia had a war. That’s it.

If anything the vacuum created when those Empires fell led to the rise of Nazi Germany, and most of the problems that still exist today.
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Don T

I’d keep FIFA. And chorizo.

Redshirt

These Georgia Bulldogs, I call him David Carradine because last night on their way to a successful climax, they choked to death and died.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I like this kitty.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Friend of mine is playing in some traditional Irish band in a pub in LA tonight. Non-alcoholic beer or just ginger ale with lime since I’m not drinking?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is the ginger ale kosher?

Shit, there I go again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not when I stir it with bacon

Senor Weaselo

Lime in your ginger ale? Are you mad?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Looks like a bourbon and ginger so people will shut the fuck up and leave me alone

Redshirt

Main cause of WWI: All those treaties that are basically “If I get in a fight, you got my back, right?” One archduke gets assassinated, and before you know it, all of Europe is in a continent wide bar fight.

WCS

Don’t forget everyone was chomping at the bit to try out all their new “toys.”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Also imperialism and colonialism and interbreeding of monarch leaders, and various agitations all existed. The assassination of Franz Ferdinand just gave them all an excuse. Also because those genteel motherfuckers didn’t have a problem with their own people getting massacred.

Senor Weaselo

Yeah, but it gave us one good song.
/Yes I feel bad for this joke.

Don T

Ditto. Them Scottish boys are the best thing about WWI.

Don T

To be exact: their second album.

theeWeeBabySeamus

On my honor, I’ll try my best not to disparage anyone’s religious beliefs tonight.
Good song, btw…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Reply fail fixed.

Redshirt

Don’t worry, tWBS. Everyone’s not perfect. Besides if I sat threw the entire game, this Christian would probably also go full “Two Cathedrals”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

2. dealing with Germany…
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Achtung, baby.

WCS

Dass ist gut, ja!

SonOfSpam

I’d leder touch my hosen.