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The NFL Solves the Anthem “Problem”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. CORPORATE BOARDROOM – DAY

ROGER GOODELL: …and with the anthem becoming such a huge distraction, they told me you might be able to help.  Distract from the distraction, as it were…

DARREN ROVELL: Oh, I’ve got your solution.  Take a look.

DARREN ROVELL fires up a projector, as a generic rendition of the Star Spangled Banner begins playing.

—

♫ Oh say can you see…♫


♫ By the dawn’s early light…♫

♫ What so proudly we hailed…♫

♫ At the twilight’s last gleaming…♫

♫ Whose broad stripes and bright stars…♫

♫ Through the perilous fight (The NFL is a proud partner of the US Military)…♫

♫ O’er the ramparts we watched…♫

 

♫ Were so gallantly streaming…♫

 

♫ And the rockets’ red glare…♫

 

♫ The bombs bursting in air…♫

♫ Gave proof through the night…♫

♫ That our flag was still there…♫

♫ Oooh say does that star spangled banner…♫

♫ Yet wave…♫

♫ O’er the land of the free…♫

♫ And the home of the brave!♫

—

ROVELL: Oh and of course then throw in a Budweiser ad at the end, nice and big and bold so that that’s what their ultimate takeaway is.

 

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blaxabbath

If Ingram gets to just come out as a white nationalist, why can’t we just admit that Americans are just corporatists?

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litre_cola

Mountain Dew extreme would really speak to the millennials, trust me, I have the twitter -D. Rovell

3
yeah right

It’s goddamn beautiful it is!

3
nomonkeyfun

I assume the terms for Salute to Service are in .0000000001 font.

“The United States Military will pay the NFL $5,000 for each point scored during out salute to service games. The NFL will donate 1/2 of this money to Donald Trumps veterans charity and the remainder will be used by the NFL’s marketing arm to recruit using Patriotic images of Pat Tillman(no mention of the circumstances of his death will be mentioned. Also, a CGI version of him will be seen castigating Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the anthem.) The VA will also appoint Dr. David Chao as the head of TBI department.”

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Sharkbait

The VA will also appoint Dr. David Chao as the head of TBI department.

Hidden perk of being a Mar-a-Lago member

3
ArmedandHammered

I hope to Dog that nobody at NFL headquarters reads this, otherwise we will see this within a week. But you know, I can’t see why this would distraction, the idiots who are all up in arms about the kneeling would be fine with this as they are already conditioned to accept any part of sports being sponsored. And leftover rotting Halloween pumpkin we have as President would be fine with it as well, especially if you throw in something for a Trump product.

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LemonJello

I don’t know which face I want to punch a) first and 3) hardest, but the bottom line is they both have punchable faces.

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