2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: Second Round, Day 6

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn’t doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn’t happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Senor Weaselo

It’s a double dip, and with some updates! And now we can say Happy Tournament. WELCOME TO THE MADNESS.

Or the Muse song, but they used that a bunch of years ago. Hell, they might still be using it? Meanwhile, here are some second round updates.

Second Round, BLEERGH Region

1. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” beats 9. “If Tampa Bay has any more abortions on this series of plays, they’ll have the RNC clamoring to defund them.” 27-10

4. “These Georgia Bulldogs, I call him [sic] David Carradine because last night on their way to a successful climax, they choked to death and died.” beats 5. “Spotlight wins the Oscar for Best Picture! Way to come from behind! Which coincidentally is pretty much what Spotlight is about.” 24-15

6. “Flyers-Capitals is beginning to resemble a GOP debate, right down to a black guy getting punched out and then thrown out by the authorities.” beats 14. “The NFC East is basically if the Bears played in a division where all the other teams were the Bears.” 28-13

10. “That thing went from 9% completed to 90% completed faster than me when I lost my virginity.” beats 2. “Blax wins for creating ONE human? Well I don’t mean to brag, but I just flushed 100 million potential humans down the toilet, so where’s my award?” 23-18

Sorry Blaxito, the run ends here.

Second Round, GAMBLOR Region

16. “THESE PROVIDENCE FRIARS, I CALL THEM LEX STEELE BECAUSE THEY ARE PUSHING THESE TROJANS TO THE LIMIT!” beats 8. “My name is Bond. Denied Bond. -Paul Manafort” 22-21

And the supreme Cinderella sashays into the Saucy 16!

4. “Man that is messed up, and right after he [Jonathan Martin] shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.” beats 5. “As they say in Japan, a draw is like sniffing your sister’s dirty underpants.” 25-18

3. “Kennedys don’t retire, they die in office. Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?” beats 6. “I can’t wait for Justify to decline the upcoming invitation to the White House.” 24-12

2. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” beats 7. “This Hull defense, I call them Mia Khalifa because they are letting lots of men in their backdoor to score.” 22-13

And now today’s FOUR (yes, four!) polls! Two to finish the SHAN’KHOR Region.

Second Round, SHAN’KHOR Region

  • 14. “MLS? Is that like Lou Gehrig’s Disease? I’m glad these people are getting better though, let’s keep hoping for a cure.” (51%, 18 Votes)
  • 6. “Hey England, just like went Dad went out for smokes, the World Cup ain’t coming home.” (49%, 17 Votes)

Total Voters: 35

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Second Round, SHAN’KHOR Region

  • 2. “I haven’t seen a khunt debut like this since Traci Lords’s 14th birthday!” (72%, 26 Votes)
  • 7. “For driving through Arizona that quickly, Sheriff Joe Arpaio just asked to see Jimmy Garoppalo’s papers.” (28%, 10 Votes)

Total Voters: 36

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And two to start the BOLTMAN Region, which will finish tomorrow, and with it, the round.

Second Round, BOLTMAN Region

  • 9. “‘Punch and Pie’ perfectly encapsulates Johnny Manziel’s philosophy on dating.” (75%, 27 Votes)
  • 16. “THESE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS I CALL THEM ROBERT MULDOON, BECAUSE THEY GOT EATEN ALIVE BY THE RAPTORS.” (25%, 9 Votes)

Total Voters: 36

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Second Round, BOLTMAN Region

  • 13. “I haven’t seen a group of Saudis go down in flames like this since 9/11” (74%, 26 Votes)
  • 5. “No problem.… I’m a Bengals fan, Buckeyes fan, and Moderate Republican. I’m used to be taken in the backdoor.” (26%, 9 Votes)

Total Voters: 35

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Sit and watch the JV woodball! Heh, woodball.

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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RedshirtWakezillaGame Time Decisionballsofsteelandfury Recent comment authors
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Redshirt

At like a true Cincinnati sports fan, I bow out gracefully in the 1st weekend of the playoff swearing I’ll never watch this shit again, knowing it won’t be long before I start glancing at the banner in case one of my comments made it.

Wakezilla

Nice to see a lesser footy comment is guaranteed to make it thru to the “Legal in some states sixteen”

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s a proud moment when two soccer banner quotes meet up in the Second Round.

Game Time Decision

come for the football, stay for the snarky lessor football comments
and the dick jokes
and the food pron.