Speculation 101: The Brady’s Bunch … of choices

Welcome, dear reader, to this game of speculation!

Today, we are going to fondly, and with quite a bit of imagination, play a game of guessing as to where dreamy Tommy Brady is going to wind up.  This is all just speculation designed to make you think, as well as give people a reason to hate me.

Mr. Brady, the greatest QB in NFL history, has said he is going to play next season.  His requirements for signing with a team are very simple.  He really just wants an opportunity to start.

This is important.  That pretty much eliminates Baltimore, KC, Seattle, New Orleans, Frisco, and the Giants of New York, because they are dumb enough to think that they have talent in that rookie who led them to all those victories.  And the Raiders are also in that category of “two dum two no betir” because Gruden wants to keep that magic of Carr to Waller.  Can’t say I blame the guy, but I also don’t make 100 million damn dollars to be middle of the road.

Now that we eliminated some teams right off the bat, what kind of field do we have left?

Browns:

Let’s face it, this team is a problem, from the front office to the players to the rotating cactus that is the head coach position.  This is a team with talents at WR, but some complete jerk there loves to not throw to them.  And the front office still wants the jerk as their QB.  Everything about the Browns let’s you know they really have no desire to win.  Screw them.

San Diego (not LA):

What will happen with Rivers?  Who cares!  All 12 of the fans of this team may miss that punchable face.  No one else does.  But, this team has some potential. And that’s why it could be a landing spot.  The Chargers don’t suck quite enough to get that first pick in the draft.  So, a bridge until they do get a decent pick position might be what they need.  A new stadium but no winning team means a lot of visitors fans filling the seats. This may be a viable option.

Miami:

Why wouldn’t Brady want to hang out at the beach?  Too bad Miami is rebuilding with the draft.  3 picks in the first round.  Man, that has to feel good after suffering from their own stupidity in trading away a bunch of talent.

Jets:

Just what every Jets fan wants:  just kidding!  No Jets fan wants a proven winning anything.  It might ruin their self worth to make it to a playoff game.

Carolina:

Doesn’t make sense.  They need to ditch the broken Newton (it’s not a cookie, mother) they already have.  They need something more.  A QB can’t fix this team unless McCaffrey decides to play that position, too.

Jags:

They already spent too much on Foles when they have a perfectly sexy beast in Minshew.  He should pose for Playgirl magazine.

Eagles:

This team, even when they won the SB, was just meh.  Meh. Nothing says excitement with this team.

Dallas:

Jones is crazy.   He might make a play. But a week with one loss and Jerry will threaten to fire McCarthy.

That’s pretty much all the teams I want to talk about.  If I didn’t mention your team, you already know anything is possible.  Make a prediction of your own!

Wildcard?:

Yes there is another option for Brady:  Outside the league.  I’m talking a XFL winner.  The opposite career path of Tommy Maddox.  A X-trophy.  A CFL legend with a Moose Trophy.

The possibilities are endless .