Yes, we made it. We’re not all dead yet and can experience the gravitas, the splendor, the magnificence that is the pinnacle of marble sports. Marble League 2020, from the Andromedome.

To lead it off, the opening ceremonies, with King Stardust, and the primary members of the JMR Staff and Committee (which are things that exist) rolling to lead the processional, with the Marble League trophy of course. And then, the 16 teams competing. They are, with appropriate logos linked and #branding, and in order of appearance:

Team Galactic (hosts) (#ReachForTheStars)
Appearances: 5th (2016-20)
Best ML Result: 5th (2017)
Coach: Black Hole
Members: Cosmo (captain), Starry, Astron, Pulsar, Quasar (reserve)
The hosts come with the Marble League torch, and come off an 8th place finish last year, hoping to build on it and not fall out of orbit.

Raspberry Racers (#RaspberryRobust)
Appearances: 3rd (2018-20)
Best ML Result: 2019 champions
Coach: Berry
Members: Razzy (captain), Rezzy, Rizzy, Rozzy, Ruzzy (reserve)
The 2018 rookies with a top-half finish followed it up with a 2019 title. What’s next for the Racers?

Hazers (#HazeAmaze)
Appearances: 3rd (2018-20)
Best ML Result: 3rd (2019)
Coach: Smokey
Members: Hazy (captain), Foggy, Smoggy, Misty, Cloudy (reserve)
2018’s Rookies of the Year, finishing 6th, followed it up with a bronze in ML2019 and a silver in Season 1 of Marbula One. They’ve moved up a step on the podium the last two major competitions—is there one more step to follow?

Green Ducks (#QuackAttack)
Appearances: 2nd (2019-20)
Best ML Result: 2nd (2019)
Coach: Bombay
Members: Mallard (captain), Billy, Quacky, Ducky, Goose (reserve)
The 2019 Rookies of the Year. The only team to beat them out last Marble League had a strong rookie campaign and followed it up by vaulting to the top. Can the Green Ducks do the same?

Savage Speeders (#SpeedIsKey)
Appearances: 5th (2016-20)
Best ML Result: 2016 champions
Coach: Quickly
Members: Speedy (captain), Rapidly, Swiftly, Velocity, Whizzy (reserve)
The most decorated team in the Marble League, with the 2016 championship and silver medals in both 2017 and 2018, plus the Season 1 Marbula One team and individual titles (Speedy took it home for the drivers). ML 2019 was a bad competition by their standards, when they finished 5th, but a dominant qualifier means they’re once again considered a top threat for the podium.

Crazy Cat’s Eyes (#EyeOnThePrize)
Appearances: 3rd (2018-20)
Best ML Result: 10th (2018)
Coach: White Eye
Members: Red Eye (captain), Blue Eye, Yellow Eye, Green Eye, Cyan Eye (reserve)
The Crazy Cat’s Eyes have been a mid-table team their first two seasons, but a strong qualifier shows promise that this year could be a big leap. They had 4 podiums in the last games, including gold in the Gravitrax Slalom.

Oceanics (#RideTheWave)
Appearances: 5th (2016-20)
Best ML Result: 3rd (2018)
Coach: Lagoon
Members: Ocean (captain), Shore, Sea, Aqua, Bay (reserve)
Unburdened with hosting, the Oceanics look for a better result than last year’s nightmare games.

Balls of Chaos (#LetChaosReign)
Appearances: 4th (2016, 2018-20)
Best ML Result: 5th (2018)
Coach: Harmony
Members: Anarchy (captain), Tumult, Clutter, Snarl, Disarray (reserve)
Balls of Chaos is looking for more of their 2018 form when they finished in the top 5 for the only time in their history, rather than their 2019 9th place finish.

Thunderbolts (#RollingThunder)
Appearances: 5th (2016-20)
Best ML Result: 3rd (2016)
Coach: Thunderstorm
Members: Thunder (captain), Lightning, Bolt, Shock, Zap (reserve)
The Thunderbolts had an entire team reform between 2018 and 2019, the only team ever to have done so. This outfit finished 13th in their first games in 2019.

Mellow Yellow (#KeepItMellow)
Appearances: 5th (2016-20)
Best ML Result: 2nd (2016)
Coach: Mellow
Members: Yellow (captain), Yelley, Yellah, Yellup, Yellim (reserve)
The only team other than the Savage Speeders to have multiple podiums in Marble League history, with a bronze in 2017 and a near-miss 4th in 2019. A team of near-misses, maybe this year can be different.

Bumblebees (#BumbleRumble)
Appearances: 1st (2020)
Coach: Queen
Members: Bumble (captain), Bea, Honey, Swax, Bomble (reserve)
The 2018 Hubelino Tournament winners have some pedigree obviously, and showed some grit, starting their Marble League run at the 2019 Showdown and working up the ranks to this, their first games.

O’rangers (#GORANGERS) (#GOOOOO…ORANGERS) (insert number of Os here)
Appearances: 5th (2016-20)
Best ML Result: 2017 champions
Coach: Rango
Members: Kinnowin (captain), Clementin, Mandarin, Tangerin, Orangin (reserve)
I look forward to when the O’rangers inevitably host, because I imagine Greg Woods will be talking about how it’s LOUD, similar to CenturyLink or Arrowhead. The loudest fans in the Marble League support a team that has never finished lower than 6th.

Midnight Wisps (#WillOfTheWisps)
Appearances: 4th (2017-20)
Best ML Result: 2018 champions
Coach: Wyspy
Members: Wispy (captain), Wespy, Wospy, Wuspy, Waspy (reserve)
The 2018 title was probably the greatest comeback in Marble League history. The Wisps were down in 10th place in the 12-event competition with two events to go, but a win in both ice hockey and the sand mogul rally meant that they nipped the Savage Speeders, who got a bronze and a silver in those two events, by a single point, 139-138.

Minty Maniacs (#MintCondition)
Appearances: 2nd (2018, 2020)
Best ML Result: 13th (2018)
Coach: Minty Hint
Members: Minty Flav (captain), Minty Drizzel, Minty Fresh, Minty Swirl, Minty Mint (reserve)
The Minty Maniacs had disbanded after the 2018 Hubelino Tournament once the lack of a 2019 came into focus, but came back to qualify for a return trip to the Marble League the hard way, through the Showdown.

Team Momo (#MomoStrong)
Appearances: 4th (2016-18, 2020)
Best ML Result: 4th (2016)
Coach: Momomomomo
Members: Momomomo (captain), Mo, Momo, Momomo, Mimo (reserve)
It seemed logical that Team Momo would slip to relegated status after a rough two years involving plenty of injuries—Momomomo’s career-theatening injury at the Fidget Spinner Collision course in 2017 is why there are reserve marbles in the first place, and the combination of Momomomo’s and Momomo’s incapacitation in 2018 led to the temporary founding of Team Momary with Prim and Mary of Team Primary for the remainder of those games. Hopefully their resurgence to the main championship vaults them back into the contending status of their original top 4 finish.

Hornets (#BringTheSting)
Appearances: 1st (2020)
Coach: Swarm
Members: Stinger (captain), Wasp, Vespa, Hive, Yellowjacket (reserve)
Like their natural friendly rivals the Bumblebees, the Hornets make their first Marble League appearance. Their first flight in top competition didn’t fare well however, with a last-place team finish in Marbula One, neither marble scoring 10 points individually, and Vespa one of two marbles to not score any individual points. Yeah, 8 points in 8 races isn’t going to win you much.

With all 16 teams lined up, the hosts, led by coach Black Hole, could send a ceremonial marble down a Gravitrax track, across a Newton’s cradle, and into some dominoes to light the cauldron and formally commence the games.

Event 1: Balancing

We begin with an event that we saw during qualifying and the friendly round. A reminder for the rules: Four marbles per team travel down a 120 cm track at the same time trying to go as far as they can. Points are scored for where each marble falls off the track, with a 10-point bonus for any marble that travels the length of the track and lands in the green finishing bowl. MR: 438 points.

The hosts begin the games.

Team Galactic: You have to wonder if there were some jitters. From the get-go all four marbles veered right, and all four had rolled off the track by 80 cm. King Stardust and the Team Galactic faithful are already worried—is the Host’s Curse real?
27-36-50-78, 191 points

Raspberry Racers: A much truer run that Team Galactic’s though for the most part they were tilting towards the left. But one finisher, plus one to travel the length, means at the least a decent first event for the defending champs.
44-61-120-130, 355 points

Green Ducks: The Ducks had a decent bunching but it ended up crowding them off except for one finisher, and that crowding off was definitely earlier than ideal (ideal being never).
31-50-57-130, 268 points

Hazers: Immediately one marble veered to the right and off. A second veered to the left shortly after. The other two were straight and true, for a pair of finishers to mitigate the early losses.
7-53-130-130, 320 points

Savage Speeders: It started off with a decent bunch, but all fell apart after the first 30 cm. No finishers in this one.
38-43-46-106, 233 points

Crazy Cat’s Eyes: A strong looking beginning, where the first two marbles to fall off looked like it was around the middle rather than the very beginning of the track. It looked like there would be two finishers but they bumped each other around 75 cm, with captain Red Eye falling off in the 100s. Yellow Eye was their only finisher.
36-58-107-130, 331 points

Oceanics: A mixed effort. Three fell off around the same point, but with one finisher it absorbs some of the blow. It’s all about keeping enough space between teammates and not bumping each other; once it looks like a fan shape disaster is normally about to strike.
42-44-49-130, 265 points

Thunderbolts: An immediate 1-3 formation led to three falling off. Interesting the lead marble wasn’t the one unaffected, but the middle of the rear guard was the only finisher, not sure which marble it was because most teams are so hard to identify but I’m assuming captain Thunder was the one out front? (I’m not sure how Jelle Bakker does it.)
30-49-52-130, 261 points

Through the halfway point it looks like there’s a high group in the 300s, then that midpack, three teams all in the 260s, with the Savage Speeders and Team Galactic bringing up the rear.

Mellow Yellow: Greg Woods: “How ’bout Mellow Yellow here?” (The four Mellow Yellow marbles all fall in the first 50 cm.) “Oh my.”
That pretty much explains it. They’re going to want to put that clunker in the rearview.
25-37-45-49, 156 points

Minty Maniacs: The Minty Maniacs lost one early, but the other three kept rolling, and rolling, and for a moment it looked like three finishers in a wonderful event to mark their return. They didn’t get the three finishers, as one rolled off and the other wasn’t quite true enough and went over the side of the finishing basket. Still an excellent run, with the first trio of 100+ marbles of the event, and the lead.
21-109-120-130, 380 points

Balls of Chaos: Balls of Chaos had two going far on the track with a third falling off in the 70s. One finisher made it with another being right around that 120, depending on a judgment call.
24-65-118-130, 337 points

Midnight Wisps: Two mid-track stragglers means the Wisps won’t get gold, but two finishers in the cup, only the second team with two 130s, means the Wisps will have a good enough score for some good points. It’s a 16-event competition, a hexadecathlon if you want to be fancy, and consistency is key. Last year’s champions, the Raspberry Racers, had eight podiums, even if only the one gold.
34-59-130-130, 353 points

With four teams left, the Midnight Wisps’ 353 is the minimum benchmark to medal, as that’s currently good enough for bronze, behind the Raspberry Racers’ 355 and Minty Maniacs’ 380.

O’rangers: Falling by the wayside, three falling by 70 cm or so won’t win gold, or any other medal. A finisher means there will be some points for the 2017 champions.
28-50-57-130, 265 points

Hornets: The Hornets veered left, costing them two fairly early marbles and a third in the mid-track, but again, one finisher means that there are a couple points to be gained in their debut event.
21-39-74-130, 264 points

Team Momo: A pair fell off in the early stages which is costly, but Team Momo becomes the third team to run with two finishers, and two 130s should at least get them in the top half with the rest of the 300-point teams.
29-33-130-130, 322 points

Bumblebees: The last team to run in the event due to being the last team to qualify, the Bumblebees knew their marks. But losing all four marbles before 90 cm means that they wouldn’t be able to knock those marks off.
51-60-77-82, 270 points

Your podium:
Gold: Minty Maniacs (380 points)
Silver: Raspberry Racers (355 points)
Bronze: Midnight Wisps (353 points)

Talk about an upset, the return squad who finished near the back in their only appearance comes back and wins the first gold! All event winners will have a $5,000 donation made in their name to the Atlanta Community Food Bank, courtesy of sponsor Last Week Tonight.

Points are awarded from 1st to 16th 25-20-15-12-11-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0, with the rest of the standings as follows (in order)

Balls of Chaos; Crazy Cat’s Eyes; Team Momo; Hazers; Bumblebees; Green Ducks; O’rangers/Oceanics (T-10, they’ll each get 10th place points); Hornets; Thunderbolts; Savage Speeders; Team Galactic; Mellow Yellow

The second event, the Halfpipe, will be released on Sunday, June 28th.