The Murder List: You Cannot Escape

“Let them hate, as long as they fear.”

Buckle up America, you’re gonna hate and fear me after this fucking diatribe has been penned.

News flash: I could give a shit.

Like Frank Constanza said, “I got a lot of problems with you people, now you’re gonna hear about it.”

Politics

I am apolitical and I hate every last politician in America. They are fucking trolls who loll around in the filthy lucre they accrue from their constituents, lobbyists, and other slime encased vermin. Politicians are the worst because they lie their heads off and protect themselves. Term limits will never happen because they are in charge.

Americans need to usher in a new French Revolution, but not like the French because they are fucking smelly pussies. Fuck the guillotine, takes too long and is too merciful. Flechette rounds dipped in poison and pepper, and then discharged at large groups of these pigs while they run like scared monkeys would make for perfect prime time tv.

Fozz, what about Trump? If given the chance, I would roast that fucker alive, coat him in homemade barbecue sauce and feed him to packs of roving hyenas. I would then set their shit on fire and dump the remains on his entire fucking family and cronies.

Sports

I’m done with all of them (I say this every year and then watch the NFL with the veracity and dedication of an old man waiting for his daily pudding to be delivered to his table at the old age home. Drooling, mumbling, confused, angry, and eventually shitting my pants.)

Overpaid fucking crybabies who have been coddled since birth and think they are above the law: spousal abuse, murder, rape, drug use, acting like the basest of animals. Jesus Christ, Jeffrey Dahmer would have looked at what some of these miscreants have done and said, “Wow. That’s out of control. And can you pass the soy sauce? I’m having Filipino for dinner.”

Honestly, the whole “look at what humans can achieve” message has grown stale. Great, you can jump high, run fast, smash opponents so hard their spleens explode. Now go and die so we can harvest your organs and put them into humans who can do stuff like cure cancer, build better sex robots, or create a fucking lightsaber that works.

Hollywood

No. One.Cares.

You are shiny, empty people paid ungodly sums to star in the most wretched balls of shit ever to grace the silver screen. Please, go crash your sports cars into your fucking yachts and take as many underlings, pilot fish, and publicists as you can. If you are looking to George Clooney for advice on how to live your life, do us a favor and jump into an industrial shredder. We will use your remains to grow cannabis. Fucking cunts.

Any Generation of People

When did claiming a generation become popular? Every one of us has horrible attributes, it doesn’t matter when we were born. Boomers need to murdered where they stand. Soak their aging, greasy, laughable ponytails in kerosene and set fire to them with an acetylene torch. None of you accomplished anything except drawing a line between drugs and syphilis. I want to shove the jagged remains of any Grateful Dead record down your throats.

Gen X fuck you. I’m a Gen Xer and I hate myself.

Millenials, Gen Y, Gen Z, Stupid Fuck Generation – You are the future of America and we are fucked. Go get your mom and dads to pay your bills, go to job interviews, and dust off your participation trophies. There is no pride in your generation, if you were to storm the beaches of Normandy, I’d be typing this shit in German. Again, you are pissy cunts. Kill yourselves.

The Media

I majored in journalism in college, a mere 30 years ago and everything I was taught has been abandoned like a cheap whore after a truck stop orgy in the bathroom. Think about that – 30 years and in such a short time the fuckwads in charge of “informing” us have forgotten what they should do and instead shovel boatloads of shit into the brains of individuals who believe that Trump is doing a great job. Our country is divided, and huge blame lays on these scumbags. All of you should be anally probed until you are dead.

Racists

Uneducated, ignorant, fearful, spiteful, oblivious. I do not wish immediate death on any of you. I wish that you would open your minds and reach out to the people you hate and maybe learn something. If that doesn’t work I will cleave your heads in half with an authentic Viking battle axe.

That is all. For now. I don’t want to leave you on a negative note. So here is a short list of things I love:

• Mrs. Fozz and the Fozz Spawn
• You guys, every one of you fuckers
• Bourbon
• Cigars
• Boobs