Earlier this year, some moron said that the 2021 Cowboys were going to be more of the same, with a dilapidated offensive line, a running back nearing the end of his career, a quarterback coming off of very serious injury, and defense that might, at best, move from “historically awful” to “perhaps competent.”

That moron was me and, as usual, I was very much publicly wrong.

The Cowboys are currently 5-1. They’ve all but clinched the NFC East 7 weeks into the season, although that’s a bar so low a snake would have trouble limboing under it. The [*Redacted] s seem to have forgotten everything they did well last year, especially on defense. The Giants, despite their win against Carolina that knocked me out of the Eliminator pool, are a poorly constructed team that tries to make up for that poor construction by also being poorly coached. The Eagles are…well, the Eagles have three first-round picks in next year’s draft, and seem determined to do what they can to maximize the value of at least their own pick. All the Cowboys have to do is be “competent”, or “interested”, or “actually try a little bit”, and they will run away with the division.

Dallas, however, is doing more than that. Dak! is putting up MVP-type numbers, even though Brady will win it again because white not at this point? The receiving corps is, (one of the few things I got right in the preview), as good as advertised, especially since Dak! does seem to have recovered about as well from a terrifying fracture as one could be expected to. I’m sure it’s the mattresses, and not some special concoction cooked up in the NFL labs that lets a guy play through his contract before developing ALS on his 40th birthday.

The offensive line, despite doing dumb shit like plea-bargaining a two-game suspension for trying to bribe an NFL drug-tester into a 5 game suspension, (which is like 3 times what you’d get for Ray Ricing your significant other in an elevator, if there wasn’t video), or contributing mightily to a total of 12 penalties, (for 115 yards!), against the Patriots, has been surprisingly good. La’el Collins, presumably having learned that a discreet $50 bill may get you a better table, but will not hide your hot urine sample, is back after the bye, which presumably means the end of the “Will Connor Williams Hold, Get Beat, Commit Unnecessary Roughness, Or Somehow Do All Three” experiment. Which would be nice. Tyron Smith remains healthy, but also seems noticeably slower. They haven’t been the fearsome unit, (heh, “unit”), of the past, but they haven’t been a weakness either.

I was way off on Zeke. (lead paint: tasty, but deadly!)

His numbers may have been declining, especially last year, but that seems to be a product of Dak! being out after Week 5, as well as last years “FUN in dysFUNctional” O-line than anything on his part. In addition to Zeke’s return, Tony Pollard as emerged as a valuable alternative, averaging 6 yards per carry and catching 15 passes, while allowing Zeke to recover on the sidelines before coming in to steal Pollard’s TDs. Pollard as one TD all year, Zeke 6.

The real surprise, however, has been the defense. Dan Quinn may not have The Legion of Boom to work with, but there’s no arguing that he’s improved the defense dramatically from where it was last year. Of course, last year you’d have to go into the basement and then dig under the pipes leading the septic tank to find Dallas’s D, but still, they’ve actually been good this year. Randy Gregory seems to have mastered his demons and is an absolute force, (just ask Mac Jones), and Trevon Diggs already has 7 interceptions and 2 TDs on the season. Micah Parsons seems like he’s going to fulfill some of the potential he had coming out of the draft, although it’s probably unfair to expect him to fulfill all of it. Demarcus Lawrence broke his foot in the opening game and hasn’t been back since. He could be back as early as next week, although post-Thanksgiving seems more likely. If he comes back fully healthy and joins a line with Gregory and Parsons that would be the best D-line I can remember seeing in Dallas since the Jimmy Johnson days. Leighton Vanderesch has had a nice bounce back year and Jaylon Smith…well, Jaylon Smith got cut. That was too bad. I liked Smith, but I gather the Cowboys cut him because Smith, (who had a devastating injury in college), wouldn’t waive his injury guarantee, thus exposing the Cowboys to a $9.2 million salary cap hit for someone who could be out an extended period of time. Again, it’s a likely at least a reasonable decision by Dallas, but I fully support Smith, (or any player), telling a team trying to get out of any sort of contract to get well and truly fucked. Smith landed with Green Bay, I wish him the best.

There are questions remaining. Most worrisome, Dak! got a calf owie against New England. He says he’ll play, but remains questionable. As someone who has had a strained calf, (albeit someone who is also in much worse physical shape and much lazier than Dak!), those things are a bitch and never quite seem to fully go away.

The offensive line, while better than expected, is prone to really dumb penalties and occasionally inconsistent. I still think a couple of ill-timed injuries would dramatically set the whole offense back. Here’s an excellent article on why Diggs isn’t as good as you might think he is. That is something I’ve noticed but couldn’t have explained as well. That sort of “Make an interception and return it for a TD or get absolutely roasted and beaten for an even longer TD” were on full display against New England, literally on back-to-back plays. (no one counts PATs or kick-offs as plays) Diggs is also prone to incredibly dumb, ill-timed penalties.

Dallas has 11 games left. I would expect them to be favored in every one of them not involving Arizona or Kansas City, and with KC lately looking like all the post-season exploits of the last two seasons have caught up with them like a 5-year-old in a car broken down on the side of a highway with a drunken pill-head bearing down on them, I’m not even sure about that one. Dallas could wind up going 15-1, 14-2, or 13-3, and at this point none of that, (OK, 15-1 would), would surprise me. They won’t, of course, because based on past experience they’ll find a way to lose to Philly in the last game of the season, (maybe by resting the entire starting line-up, but still), and it just wouldn’t be Dallas if they didn’t do something dumb in one of the Washington games, or find a way to get trapped by a team like Las Vegas or New Orleans. Regardless, their floor seems to be 11-5 and a conference championship, and maybe a first week bye.

And then what? Well, then they’re going to lose to a team like Green Bay or Tampa Bay, because Rodgers and Brady will get every benefit of the doubt and the Cowboys will not. Why not? you ask. Aren’t the Cowboys “America’s Team”, and doesn’t the NFL bend over backwards to help them? The answer, of course is no, and the reason is likely this guy:

You thought I was going to put up a shot of Mike McCarthy, didn’t you? Nope. McCarthy is still not-a-good-coach, but at least this year he seems to be delegating what needs to be delegated to Kellen Moore. McCarthy’s McCarthyisms have shown up occasionally, (notably with some FG decisions in New England), but on the whole he seems to be limiting his tendency to make bad decisions by limiting his making of any decisions. It’s a sound strategy I hope he keeps up.

In addition to doing dumb shit like having that picture taken and then not having the camera seized and the photographer killed, Jones has done stuff like try to get Goodell’s contract limited, or side with Stan Kroenke, (#Kroenkeout, #Gunners), in Kroenke’s attempt to weasel out of his promises to indemnify the other owners for any legal fees incurred when Kroenke fucked over St. Louis. Sure, this is some tinfoil hat thinking, but if you don’t think that a history of doing things like that, (and that’s just what we know about; you can’t tell me Jones hasn’t out-grudened Gruden, although I would be inclined to believe that Jones is lucky enough not to know how to use email to do it), doesn’t help an already incompetent officiating base call Dez’s catch NAWT a catch, or that noted financial advisor Jalen Ramsay was interfered with in last season’s opening game, or that Tampa really deserved that late pass interference penalty they got in this year’s opener, well then, I have a football team for you in Houston that I would very much like you to believe exists, so that I could sell it to you.

The ultimate point here is this: Dallas is a dramatically improved team, but they are not without flaws. Some of those flaws, especially the propensity for dumbass penalties, are their own doing and need to be addressed. The bigger problem, however, is that the NFL is a league beholden to the narrative. In the NFC that narrative still runs through Rodgers and Brady, and it’s never going to run through Dallas while Ol’ Double J is all but literally standing in league meetings with his pants around his ankles whilst pissing on the polished wingtips of 30 owners and the commissioner. If JJ truly wants the Cowboys to win a Super Bowl he doesn’t have to watch while looking up, and if he’s truly willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen, he’ll announce his retirement before Thanksgiving. He does that, sky’s the limit; he doesn’t, and I’ll wager a considerable amount of money that the season ends at 13-3 and a back-breaking loss late in the play-offs on a bizarre call that Cowboys fans, including yours truly, will never shut the fuck up about.

It’s on you Jerry. Do the right thing and