Guttersnipe

I think I’ve completely checked out of bowling season. We’re now on week 20 of 27(!) weeks and it has given me pretty much everything it could have. It’s past time to move on. I’ve got a Valentine’s Day weekend for to plan and prep. There’s light fixtures to put up and half-moldy walnut leaves to rake. I can drink beer and not talk to strangers on Tuesdays. Life goes on, damn it.

I bought an old ball but I still rent shoes. My average has gone up slightly. Very slightly. I’ve had the beer, I’ve eaten the (actually really good) food from the attached brew pub. What else is there? Nothing, bowling. You’ve served me the whole deal and there are no mysteries about which to get excited.

You can see where this fluff is going. Absolutely nowhere.

We played another team last week. One that we played already in week 2 or something. They are also first time league bowlers. They are a pair of couples, much like most of the league. They do this thing where they meow at the person bowling when a gutter ball is thrown. It is as irritating as you’d expect coming from a group of 50-year-olds.

We were short our married couple this past week again. I think they’ve had enough, too. This could be a common occurrence for the next two months. Only mister Lily wants to keep at it. I think he’s found his thing. Good for him but I won’t be joining him on this journey to 10,000 frames.

And this team — by golly they bashed us good. Not even close. I didn’t even bother taking the picture I usually do so I don’t have to make it up by the time I put this down on paper. It was about a 130-point margin in the first. A couple of theirs had good games and we only get 90% of the averages of the two truants. In the second they regressed to the mean and we played a couple solid games and they only put about 50 between us. We had no chance. In the third it was another ugly 100-point loss for half of the gutter fingers.

I’ll try to find some more enthusiasm tonight. Hopefully the whole team is there and we can at least put up a fight. Otherwise this league year is going to end on a very ugly note, score-wise.

Maybe I’ll miss a game. One more, just because. I could go to the hardware store and get all those things on my list. That 3/8” dowel and a new Philips screwdriver. Some of those LED lights that look like Edison bulbs. Anything but league bowling at this point.

Well? Don’t you have anything fun to talk about? Soccer or bacon varieties or which replay review took longest and was still wrong? I bet you do. I bet we all do.