Gerald Ford became president of the United States of America in 1974, and for Vikings fans who have made the effort to understand their history, he is a much hated figure. Gerald Ford, of course, is the only president who was never elected to his office, having replaced Nixon’s VP Spiro Agnew (his story is for another time), and then eventually ascending to the presidency after Nixon’s resignation. In the aftermath of Watergate and the final days of the Vietnam war, many were disgusted by the American government and had turned to sports for a break from Washington. Having installed one of their own in the White House, it was the perfect time for the greys to make waves once again on the gridiron. Their primary goal? Prevent Bud Grant, humanity’s greatest hunter of Non-Human Intelligence, from winning a Super Bowl.

The Minnesota Vikings experienced four Super Bowl losses in the 1970s. Their first loss was to Kansas City on January 11, 1970 – that Kansas City squad had experienced a string of unusual injuries that forced them to lean on their 3rd string quarterback. That 3rd stringer, a Non Human Intelligence masquerading as an American named Mike Livingston, then went on a 5 game winning streak. Evidence of Mike Livingston’s involvement in these injuries has been hidden well, and very little has been recovered to this day. What we can prove, however, is that the dying American Football League was coerced into expanding the number of playoff teams that year in order to mirror it’s older brother, the National Football League, prior to their merger the next year. This allowed the Kansas City Chiefs to play for an appearance in that year’s big dance, which ultimately ended with the Vikings’ first defeat of the decade. The extraterrestrial involvement in this debacle was small, but pivotal. They would only become more brazen once they had their ‘man’ installed in Washington.

Super Bowl VIII, January 12, 1975. The Perfect Dolphins of the previous season may have produced a worse record, but were a significantly better team. Twin greys, donning the identities of Larry Csonka and Bob Griese, were in full control of the Dolphins Offense. Bob Griese, a grey perhaps too greedy for the spotlight, would appear in three consecutive Super Bowls. For this contest, while the Dolphins practiced at the former Oilers’ facility, the Vikings were made to practice at a high school field with no working showers and insufficient practice equipment. This was no coincidence, and neither was the statement made by Joe Namath that would define this Super Bowl: “If Miami gets the kickoff and scores on the opening drive, the game is over.” So it was. Gerald Ford and his agents within the great machine of American sports had denied the Vikings once again.

It wouldn’t take long for the Vikings to appear again – Super Bowl IX, January 13, 1974. This time it would be the Steelers, and instead of a dominant offense, it would be a defensive battle. Franco Harris, star running back and obvious extraterrestrial, would rush for 158 yards, more than the entire Vikings offensive production.

Two more years would pass. 11 days before Gerald Ford was due to leave office, Super Bowl XI was held. The Vikings’ Purple People Eaters defense and their grey-hunting coach Bud Grant were seeing their fourth Super Bowl appearance of the decade. For this contest, the greys had relatively few players on the field. Instead, one of their greatest insurgents appeared on the sideline – John Madden. With this final matchup, their goal was to beat their enemy through coaching. With a balanced rushing and passing attack, and a defense who would not give star QB Fran Tarkenton the time he needed to succeed, the greys would complete their sweep of the Minnesota franchise.

An offense this great against a team who had resisted any infiltration by Non-Human Intelligence would not be seen again until the 90s and the horrors that started in Super Bowl 25; more on that topic next week. This has been the second of four history reviews from the Nova Files Library, a series of case reviews collected for your viewing prior to our weekly briefings for the 2023 season.