Alas, there is no Lesser Footy to start one’s day with.  Sleep in if one can.

Steerfuckers South (-7) at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

How long has it been since not-THEEEE has gone into the Big House as a full-tuddy favoUrite?  Long fucking time, I’d bet.  But I’d still not touch this line with a ten-foot pole (that’s like, 30+ Farvenises!).  Depending champs are trotting out a glorified walk-on at quartered back, and the Steerfucker pass rush just might murder-kill him.

Pig Sooey (+7.5) at BDSM State (Noon, ABC)

I have no idea what to expect from either of these squadrons, but these programs have a history of being highly entropic.  And FFS, gotta watch something.

Unded Bill Snyders (-9) at Tulane (Noon, ESPN)

She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t liiiiiieeee….ok, maybe she lies a little bit.  Green Wave lost both coach and QB from last season’s spunky bunch, and one suspects they go straight back into the Dustbin of Irrelevance.

Baylor (+14.5) at Team Secular Big Love (3:30, Fox)

Yesterday’s news away to everyone’s Big Twaaalllllve favoUrite in their conference opener, scratch that – a nonconference matchup between two new conference foes.  THANKS, Obama!!!1111

Cornpone State (+3) at Cornpone (3:30, CBS)

There will be points.  Just not very many.

South Cakalaky (+8.5) at Kenfucky (3:30, ABC)

Will the Blue Moons keep on shinin?  Sure feels weird to see SEC matchups on ABC, PPPPAAAAAWWWWLLLLLLL.

Join Hippo in the night thread for pain and lamentations.