Guten Tag, drones.

Today’s topic is brought to you courtesy of s discussion is yesterday’s AM/PM open thread, after Ovi broke Gretzky’s once “unbreakable” career-goal scoring mark.

Side-note, fuck Gretzky and his MAGA ass.  Canada should revoke his citizenship.

Anyway, Ovechkin now taking the record back to the Russian Motherland inspired a conversation about what other records were likely to never be broken.

Surprisingly Bunny Blue did not come up.  Don’t google that at work, in the unlikely event that your are a regular here and don’t know what I’m talking about.

After a few suggestions RTD said, “this could be a mock draft topic” and I read that and thought, “well, it beats doing any work myself” and then said

twice, for some reason, and here we are.

The rules are any athletic accomplishment, (game, season, career), you think no one else will ever break.  ‘Athletics’ are to be defined very broadly, mostly for entertainment purposes and also to give Balls something to do.

With the first pick I will go a little off the beaten path, (mostly to avoid the suggestions from yesterday’s thread, which to be clear remain eligible), and say that no one will ever pitch two consecutive no-hitters like Johnny Vander Meer did back in 1938.

So the “most no-hitters-in-a-row” record will stand forever.  Especially with pitch counts, specialized relief pitchers, livelier balls, torpedo bats, video availability, and trash cans in the Astros dugouts.

The rest of you are on the clock