INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
All the lights are…actually, most of the lights are out. A single spotlight is pointed at a disco ball on the ceiling, the reflections from which faintly illuminate DJ 3000′ as it boots up…
…to an empty studio. As we watch, DJ 3000”s console flashes the text "TCP-IP connection request sent..." shortly followed by "TCP-IP connection secured...receiving data..." before cutting to display the image of a high school cafeteria, viewed through a security camera just like last week.
As we watch, HUNTER RENFROW walks unsteadily to one of the tables, and sits down. A few moments later RACHEL DUNBARTON emerges from the swinging kitchen doors holding a small package.
RACHEL DUNBARTON: You know, when I offered to cosplay as a nurse for you this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
HUNTER RENFROW takes the package from her and grimaces as he puts it to his face, where we see he has the makings of a tremendous shiner.
RACHEL DUNBARTON: It looks pretty bad.
HUNTER RENFROW: [smiling weakly] Yeah but you should see the other guy.
HUNTER RENFROW removes the package from his face and wrinkles his nose in disgust.
HUNTER RENFROW: Ugh, I can even smell it.
RACHEL: It was the best thing I could find. It should keep the swelling down, at least.
HUNTER: This would be better if you’d let me use my bump key get into the nurse’s office and get a real ice pack and maybe some painkillers.
RACHEL: I told you, it’s going to take a lot more than just a bump key to get into the medicine cabinet in there.
HUNTER: [taps breast pocket] I brought my picks.
RACHEL: It took you two hours to open the transparent practice lock in broad daylight while you were at 100%. I can’t even imagine how much of a mess you’d be trying to pick a real lock after getting your bell rung like that. I hope you don’t have a concussion.
HUNTER: [touches the back of his head gingerly] Yeah, I’m gonna have to go to the tape and see exactly how that happened.
RACHEL: What did happen?
HUNTER: Richie was saying some really disrespectful things about Angie. Just…awful stuff that I won’t repeat here. So I told him to shut his big stupid fat mouth.
RACHEL: …and then he hit you?
HUNTER: Actually, no. I put up my dukes and he just laughed and called me a pipsqueak and said that I could go ahead and have the first shot. So I punched him in the face as hard as I could. I think I might have actually given him a bloody nose. And then he hit me…
HUNTER RENFROW gestures to his shiner.
HUNTER: …and then I guess I fell and hit my head. I don’t really know, it’s pretty gray after that. The good news is that my friend has got an eye in the sky and recorded the whole thing. I’m guessing he already sent the footage to Angie.
HUNTER RENFROW glances up at the cafeteria security camera, whose point of view bounces up and down in a nodding motion.
RACHEL: Ugh. Where did that creep go, anyways?
HUNTER: I’m not sure – he said something about how he was going to rig the prom king election and seize the throne. Actually, he said he was going to “un-rig” the election because it wasn’t fair that he was too late to get on the ballot.
RACHEL: He understands that we don’t have a prom king anymore and there’s no election to rig, or un-rig, doesn’t he?
HUNTER: I don’t think so, no. I’m really sorry about all this. I hope I’m not spoiling your evening. I just wanted you to have a good time.
RACHEL: I’ve been having a great time – I just wish you bad been there to enjoy it with me. Where have you been, anyways?
HUNTER: The bathroom. My ulcerative colitis was acting up.
RACHEL: I figured.
HUNTER: The funny thing is that there’s someone who’s been in the bathroom even longer than I have.
RACHEL: Really?
HUNTER: Yeah, I could see his legs under the stall when I got in there, and they were still there when I left.
HUNTER RENFROW glances up at the security camera again.
HUNTER: I should probably get back to my obligations as a prom date…and speaking of obligations, I bet my eye in the sky friend would love a topic for Request Line right about now. I think “fisticuffs” should do for a topic, and maybe let’s get started with a little Gaslight Anthem.
— [ten minutes and a few songs later] —
CUT TO: What appears to be a hidden camera above one the bathroom stalls in the men’s room. The camera is pointed directly down over the toilet, where a man is sitting, slumped over. On his lap (covering up anything else, thankfully) is a tablet computer, the screen showing a quad view of the current camera plus three others, each situated directly above a bathroom stall – the spycams of a pervert. As we watch, the man – face still unseen – slumps over and a cord wrapped around his neck becomes visible. It’s pulled tight, and he’s dead.
—
Today’s theme is “Fisticuffs”. We’re looking for songs about boxing, throwing punches, etc. Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP&4tTh3M! and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last week’s puzzle answer of “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler was cleverly solved by BeefRiverLives. Let’s spice up the evening with a bit of the ol’ ultraviolence!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c556bz43Q90&list=RDc556bz43Q90&start_radio=1
Thanks for contributing, everybody! Let’s close today out with a TRIPLE SHOT of Sun Kil Moon songs about boxers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6DxdQ-9Z8w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-RjqU3T2x4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpxWbSUsvKo
Alt Boxing Songs
Da Mystery of Chessboxin – Wu Tang Clan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJk0p-98Xzc
Shadowboxer – Fiona Apple
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnXjISlKLuE
Whelp, I think this is the last one from me. I’ll leave you with another classic.
Thanks for the fun, RTD!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFCpUZVyXgg&list=RDKFCpUZVyXgg&start_radio=1
No Limp Bizkit? I thought we were better than that.
Unfortunately, not about a sleeveless undershirt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V37MQWgB7M
lol “Tariffs are not valid except via Congress” ok cool, so now the money gets sent back or something?
Then again, the Supremes will probably just piss on the Appeals Court anyway.
Yup. republicans in congress could stop this financial fuckery anytime they wanted to, but are corrupt cowards.
“The Party of Fiscal Responsibility” my pasty white ass.
they are talking about their own bank accounts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SmxVCM39j4&list=RD1SmxVCM39j4&start_radio=1
Here’s a hit from Bjork. In fact, here’s a few of ’em:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56iSUBe700A
She was very generous with her palmstrokes to that reporter…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYjyaEABkt0&list=RDeYjyaEABkt0&start_radio=1
Mortal Kombat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxsNnUAyfd4
(about the Jack London short story)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGqSdVzC0dU&list=RDUGqSdVzC0dU&start_radio=1
Haven’t seen this classic about fisticuffs (& feeticuffs too, I guess)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmfudW7rbG0&list=RDbmfudW7rbG0&start_radio=1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DMLnoyk6R0&list=RD5DMLnoyk6R0&start_radio=1
This is a great topic and a lot of fun, but a friend of mine has got me into a new poker tournament at a Polish National Home, so I assume we’re playing low hand wins, and I have to run.
The last time a friend of mine brought me to a new tournament I went on an all-time heater and won the whole thing, (for the princely sum of like $200), and I think it’s fair to say I would have been beaten to death if he hadn’t stayed there the entire time.
To be fair, I would have thought I was cheating too.
This song is about a women who is sick of her asshole husband and takes good care of him
.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvD02gPgOQw&list=RDwvD02gPgOQw&start_radio=1
Good for her. Wish more women would do that & not take it.