Put down your masks and put on your other ones. I’m dressing as a cynical mid-50’s dude!

To The Games!

Panthers/Falcons:

Funny how playing against three of the league’s worst defenses and getting rookie Pitts involved can turn one’s stats and team fortunes around. Ryan’s aDOT has been lifted from 4.9 (second last) to 9.6 (seventh best) and figures to go even higher today.

Fins/Bills:

Our very own Zymm is here! Tua has received the kiss of death known as the “he’s our qb the rest of the way” speech from coach Flores. Miami had 10 wins last year as the D led the league in takeaways but it’s not happening this year as they’re giving up 30 points per game.

Niners/Bears:

Guh! I think this game is going to be filled with turnovers and poor play. Watch at your own risk.

Steelers/Browns:

This is interesting as a battle of wills between Pitt’s dominant d-line and Cleveland’s disciplined and efficient o-line. Both teams have work to do to catch Cincy/Baltimore in the division.

Eagles/Lions:

Another stinker brought to you by the good folks at the NFC! Philly has the easiest sked the rest of the way but surely it doesn’t matter. Detroit’s the hard-working winless team in ever-will they finally get a W?

Titans/Colts:

The Colts have won 3 of their last 4 and are on the cusp of relevance in the AFC South and then the Titans arrive in town. Wentz hasn’t thrown a pick in that time and his YPA is at 9. I checked and there are no more superlatives to use to describe El Tractorcito.

Bengals/Jets:

You didn’t know this football nugget but you’re not surprised-the Jets are the only team that doesn’t have an interception yet. Mike White will get his first start and will likely not have access to Corey Davis. Not that it would help. Some folks are saying that Cincy might get caught looking ahead to the Browns next week but they don’t even know how to do that yet, being as they are babes in the good team woods.

Rams/Texans:

Blowout Ahoy! The spread is 14.5. The Rams have scored 207 points and the Texans have given up almost as much-203. Aaron Donald will make a new friend by the name of Mills today. I hope he doesn’t squeeze him too tight like he did with all those rabbits.

Make with the comments.