Put down your masks and put on your other ones. I’m dressing as a cynical mid-50’s dude!
To The Games!
Panthers/Falcons:
Funny how playing against three of the league’s worst defenses and getting rookie Pitts involved can turn one’s stats and team fortunes around. Ryan’s aDOT has been lifted from 4.9 (second last) to 9.6 (seventh best) and figures to go even higher today.
Fins/Bills:
Our very own Zymm is here! Tua has received the kiss of death known as the “he’s our qb the rest of the way” speech from coach Flores. Miami had 10 wins last year as the D led the league in takeaways but it’s not happening this year as they’re giving up 30 points per game.
Niners/Bears:
Guh! I think this game is going to be filled with turnovers and poor play. Watch at your own risk.
Steelers/Browns:
This is interesting as a battle of wills between Pitt’s dominant d-line and Cleveland’s disciplined and efficient o-line. Both teams have work to do to catch Cincy/Baltimore in the division.
Eagles/Lions:
Another stinker brought to you by the good folks at the NFC! Philly has the easiest sked the rest of the way but surely it doesn’t matter. Detroit’s the hard-working winless team in ever-will they finally get a W?
Titans/Colts:
The Colts have won 3 of their last 4 and are on the cusp of relevance in the AFC South and then the Titans arrive in town. Wentz hasn’t thrown a pick in that time and his YPA is at 9. I checked and there are no more superlatives to use to describe El Tractorcito.
Bengals/Jets:
You didn’t know this football nugget but you’re not surprised-the Jets are the only team that doesn’t have an interception yet. Mike White will get his first start and will likely not have access to Corey Davis. Not that it would help. Some folks are saying that Cincy might get caught looking ahead to the Browns next week but they don’t even know how to do that yet, being as they are babes in the good team woods.
Rams/Texans:
Blowout Ahoy! The spread is 14.5. The Rams have scored 207 points and the Texans have given up almost as much-203. Aaron Donald will make a new friend by the name of Mills today. I hope he doesn’t squeeze him too tight like he did with all those rabbits.
Make with the comments.
BLEERGH just screwed over Cincy.
This guy has Robs jersey!
Throw it up for DPI works every time!
So, to avoid the safety, Dakota Jeebus tried to ground the ball (for a safety) and threw a pick six instead.
You want this ball? TOO BAD WE TAKE BALL
LMFAO Wentz
DAKOTA JEEBUS everybody!!
Havent seen a trick play by a Mr White like that that didnt involve a paraplegic and a ringing bell
Poor Justin Fields.
I mean, that was the very best he is capable of. Still lost by 11.
Redshirt, I apologize for starting the Cincy D against Dok in the DFO League.
Im glad they dont play more than the open of the witchita song
No lyric for the win!
Hey, where are the sharp objects?
Oh shit!!!
Mike white QB JETS is Rocking 💪
Let’s hope for Burrow’s balls growing twice their size in the next three minutes.
Tres points but times on clock squis the fish LETS GO BUFFALO
Oh shit
Burrow got picked
R the jets really gonna take the lead?
Hahaha oh shit
Jets r Rocking!
This is MIKE WHITE’S WORLD and we’s all just living in it.
Aw hell.
All this garbage time, and Hippo can’t get one of those jet sweeps to Deebo.
OK, Younghoe garbage points will have to do.
So much efforts by the Jets receivers to be lost like tears in the rain
A comment I made regarding a Herman Cain Award recipient who died fifteen miles away from where he was born in Kentucky:
He’s seen things…you people wouldn’t believe.
Coal rolling F-150’s on fire off the shoulder of State Route 259.
He watched Jewish Space Lasers glitter in the dark near the Comet Ping Pong Pizzeria.
All these moments will be lost in time, like Trump votes from a Dominion voting machine.
Time to die.
If the Texans give up a safety or turn the ball over I will forgive them.
Jets refuse to go away.
If the Texans hadn’t prolonged this nonsense I could be watching a different, non-terrible game.
Hey y@ll got a down needs to be touched
DO IT
Nickname should be Houston the Barges cuz they are making the most of garbage time
Even Blake Bortles thinks this business by the Texans is a bit much.
Fine day for Boyd
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigAssuredCaterpillar.webp
Haha the bears suck
BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING IF YOU ARE A TATTLING BITCH
no typos someone missed 2nd half last call
Everything is spelled correctly. Lack of punctuation is par for a comments section (even one with DFO’s level of intelligentsia). Spacing is all fine. Caps are appropriate for the content.
Yep. Last call missed.
Stupid Texans costing me fantasy points. I wish fantasy scoring had a way of distinguishing garbage time points. Like if the team is losing by 20+ any points scored in the fourth quarter don’t count.
Oh, FUCK YOU, Texans. Running an onsides kick when down 24 point with five minutes left.
Hey, blame the Rams for putting their scrubs in when they’re up 38-0. What were they thinking? That the game was in hand?
More Stafford to Kupp/Higbee, rammit!
Differential Fantasy football
“Stupid Texans” will suffice.
Jeebuz. In Hippo’s money league my opponent is playing Saquon and still has a 62% win probability over me.
Thing nobody will point out – the placement head owie has HELPED Yinzburgh. With a healthy/non-Trent Green kicker, it would be 13-10 instead of 15-10
Of COURSE the Bears Bearistocrated the extra point that would have tied the game.
I knew there wasn’t a game on CBS, but I switched over anyways just in case. It ended up being a rodeo.
At least those clowns play better defense than the Texans.
Fields with a fantastic rush TD on a broken play.
Followed my missed extra point. #PeakBearistocrats!
No one really gives a shit about shout except the LETS GO BUFFALO part which isn’t really part of the song but is the best part of the song WITCHITA
Picked Cincy in Survivor, could use a few stops now.
This Rams game? I call it “Hostel IV” because it’s torture porn.
Yeah, I am out of reasons not to get the dog walked.
Help a ninja out. I have to start The Legend of White Mac or risk Dak! If I do roll with Dak!, should I start Coop over Shepard? Or go safe with Mac/Shepard, or even Mac/Jakobi Meyers?
Go White MAC and Coop.
I would go with White Mac, my regal colleague. Not only is he destined to succeed, but I believe that NE will be trailing a fair bit today if Herbert has his way with the NE secondary. I’m expecting lots of passing in that game.
ok, you two convinced me, but only playing Coop over Shep if Dak! plays.
After that hit Darnold may have more than a touch of downs.
Wouldn’t be surprised if he saw more than a few ghosts out there today.
That’s a weird lookin dog
Is that a wombat? Australia, man!
Carolina kicker Gonzalez is MVP of one of my teams with 18 points so far.
SF just scored a very Rugby looking TD there
RUGBY SCRUM TOMSULAS!!
I love a good hobo fight.
Because the losers are easier to pick off later?
That last can of beans must be CLAIMED
Joe burrow and this bengals offense kinda legit
That’s Rocking!
They’s going to the Owl, Mr. Dog. And that will indeed be rocking!!
Chase is really special. Had a couple of drops again early in the game tho. Reminds me of OBJ’s rookie year-taking the league by storm and no one has an answer.
Giants eventually had the answer by alienating him
Clots special! The underthrow DPI
My kid, who eats almost NOTHING, somehow likes brussel sprouts. That’s good re health, but now my house smells like fucking brussel sprouts.
Love me some Roasted sprouts
Cast iron skillet, cook with bacon and get a little char on there? Now I can eat that.
next to Cauliflower then a crippling Maalort preference
Houston has the wrong logo because a Steer would have a stiffer D than their team.
Well, they’re certainly playing like they’ve had their balls removed
Looking around the various league scores; is this just a shitty week for football? Or are injuries and everyone being tired taking their toll?
I should eat food but not nothered letrs go buffalo!