INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER sits at the soundboard, holding his head in his hands. A muffled noise is heard and the PRODUCER pulls a device out of his pocket.

CELLPHONE RINGTONE: [Andy Samberg’s voice taken as a sample from the Lonely Island Song “I Threw it on the Ground”]…HOLLYWOOD PHONY…HOLLYWOOD PHONY…HOLLYWOOD PHONY…

PRODUCER: [answers phone] Mr. Morris?

— [cellphone flies open] —

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [sounding annoyed] No, it’s Rikki.  Hey, so what’s the deal? We were supposed to be live an hour ago and it’s been nothing but advertisements the whole time.

PRODUCER: I thought you’d be happy. It’s pure revenue.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I mean I am, a little, but there’s only so much that our listeners will put up with before they change the station.  Request Line is not The Howard Stern Show or…I don’t know, one of those conservative talk radio hosts that actually survived the COVID pandemic.

PRODUCER: But the guest didn’t show up.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Who was it supposed to be?

PRODUCER: Beats me, DJ 3000 normally handles that stuff.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Is he still stuck in that time loop?

PRODUCER: Very much so.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Ah, hell.  Okay, throw something up there.

PRODUCER: Like that three-pointer that Julian Strawther hit to beat UCLA. Lucky sonofabitch.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Huh?

PRODUCER: Sorry, I was up late watching the games. It was a great shot, but I really hate Gonzaga.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Oh.  Okay, well use that as a topic.

PRODUCER: Hating Gonzaga?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: No, no, I was thinking “songs you like by bands you don’t.”

PRODUCER: Oh.  Hey, that’s a pretty fun idea.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Well, that’s why I get paid the big bucks.

PRODUCER: Speaking of which, there was an issue with my last paycheck and…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [interrupts] Sorry buddy, got a meeting that’s about to start, we’ll talk later.  Now get that show on the air! [hangs up]

PRODUCER: Let’s see…songs I like by bands I hate…songs I like by bands I hate…GOT IT!