Enablers: A Study – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

There are millions of ads, anecdotes, gossip, poems, psalms, stories and memes about true friends being those who stand by you and look out for your best interests, always, without fail. Well spare me the personal growth and judgin’ crap because this is a look at enablers.

Enablers never sermonize and are always up for a good time. That’s plenty of good right there, even if the fun is at one’s expense. “I’ll take care of the bill” is not in the enabler’s vernacular, nor is “I’ll handle this”.

Enabling entails some power imbalance. The enablee is likely the more powerful or resourceful one, and thus bears all the risks for the poor judgment and crapulence that the enabler brings out. For example,

Via postimages

Kissinger’s decades of celebrity and admiration is the apex of the Enabler Life: got his hands dirty on hundreds of bowls, was never the cook.

Enablers are gifted at excuses and justifications. But true enablers will not volunteer explanations and likely won’t give a fuck either way ever. This makes enablers irresistible when you want to get grimy and roll around in the mud and furlough your conscience for a while—whether for spite, kicks or (my favorite) just because. Validating the worst of your nature? THAT’s what enablers are for.

Enablers do not incur on self-harm. That is your jam. Beware of the enabler who frowns on designated driving. That’s recklessness, not enabling. And besides: folks who hate all rules make for very unpredictable evenings. Best leave hangs with those folks when grieving a loved one becomes too much.

Enablers witness you digging your own hole with the “Hey, we’re all adults here” free-will jiujitsu which built the careers of loan sharks, succesful pawn shop owners, and other lowball porn reality tv types. Accomplices or cronies cannot be enablers; that’s too much involvement. Nor are  blackmailers, which is closer to a master-vassal relationship like

Via postimages.com

Enablers will not entrap you, because that would take effort. Being a spectator is most of enabling. It’s not an action role. The Enabler Duties Sheet include the odd drive (5%) and some goading (15%), but the work mostly involves validation (33%) and contacts for hard drugs (45%). Expenses are reimbursed in-kind (watching your increasing debasement), and in some union jurisdictions enablers get hazard pay (sixer of Busch) when the sap passes out waaaay early.

NFL NEWS

This is what I’m talking about:

 Via Postimages / USATSI

Dan and Rog: now THAT’s an enabling relationship.

In mid December, 2017, allegations emerged of sexual impropriety and racial slurs by Jerry Richardson. Five months later, the NFL approved the sale of the Panthers to David Tepper. By contrast, Snyder has seemingly been Putin to Goodell’s Trump because the NFL has given more passes to Lil’ Dan than a Mike Martz offense.

The first time I became aware of Dan Snyder being a complete prick was during the early aughts. I wasted a moment of “boss is away” time theft reading Peter King. The way I remember, the item was the Redacteds’ novel idea of charging fans for preseason games and bundling the tickets for non-fitbaw with season ticket packages. This being PK, it was painted as visionary, in the way media types cream themselves over the oh-so-creative ways millionaires extract money from saps. Like when Jerry Jones cashed in on his son in law’s obsequious glasses cleaning.

Snyder, of course, is no Putin. Putin’s signature move is radioactive poisoning, while Snyder’s is siccing lawyers upon anyone denouncing Redactdom as a radioactive workplace. Two things have kept Snyder in business: regular folks’ court phobia and Roger Goodell, personal enabler.

In the salad days, Snyder was your typical millionaire shitbag: penny-pinching regular operations, overpaying for self-indulgence (whether over the hill vets, Spurrier or Albert Haynesworth), and being a stubborn fuckhead:

Remember that, at no time before the Covid lockdown / George Floyd protests in 2020, the NFL ever said anything about the Redacted team and trademarks. An enabler knows when to disengage and say “It’s a YOU problem, figure it out”.

SPROTS TONITE

All times Central:

The Zambonis

Detroit @ Tirana – 6:00

Jersey @ That’s it! Back to Winnipeg – 6:00

Anaheim @ Calgary – 7:00

L.A. @ Vancouver – 7:00

Yo La Tengo!

Filis (Falter) @ Patrulleros (Pérez)  – 6:00

The Traveling Wilburys

Lakers @ Rockets – 6:00

Suns @ Thunda – 6:00

Pacers @ Cavs – 7:00

Sixers @ Bucks -7:00

Warriors @ Nugs – 7:30

Top Flight Motörhead

Hey, The Lemmys sponsored little league Greenbank FC in the 80s, so it’s bit-consistent.

YOU:

Besides, seeing a buncha infants doing the horn signs is worth a click. Do it.

Liga Profesional Argentina

Banfield hosts Platense – 7:30ish*

* Pitch invasions and flares permitting.

Colombia

Unión Magdalena hosts Rionegro Águilas – 6:10

Atlético Huila hosts Deportivo Cali – 8:20

Costa Rica

Doubleheader down by the CONCACAF Demilitarized Zone:

Alajuelense hosts Saprissa – 6:00

San Carlos hosts Cartaginés – 8:00

Honduras

Real España hosts Honduras Progreso – 6:00

Honduras Progreso is at the bottom, which is a national fútbol fact, not political commentary (source: CIA).

Secsi Mexi

Atlético San Luis hosts Mazatlán FC – 6:00

Querétaro hosts Pumas UNAM – 8:05

Ecuador

Orense hosts Guayaquil City FC – 7:00

Paraguay

General Caballero JLM hosts Sportivo Ameliano – 7:00

Perú

Deportivo Binacional hosts UTC – 6:00

On principle, I support Deportivo Binacional because it would piss off Bill Lee and Ron DeSantis.

Fuck those governors.

Venezuela

Zamora hosts Caracas FC – 6:30

FINALLY,

If everything works out to an acceptable solution, 2020 was the last of the NFL enablin’. From NBC Sports, 2/4/22:

Via NBC Sports

Back then team ownership was passed to Dan Snyder’s wife, under whose name the NFL got a season of the Most Generic Washington Football Team. It’s a big fuck you to Jerry Richardson alright, but any schadenfreude pales before EVERY GOD DAMN BREAK THE NFL HAS GIVEN DAN SNYDER.

Every parent and teacher knows that tolerating a brat is gonna make the brat worse at home and the classroom, with becoming a problem for society at large being in the cards. Tolerating a grown-ass alleged sexual abusing millionaire whose Big Deal corpo. marketing department pulled a real-life Porky’s reel of cheerleaders without their consent and with the blessing of Dan Snyder is, is…

Infuriating. Snyder will also get at least $6 billion for the Redacteds. Whatever. His legal troubles are just beginning. If the best thing Small Dan has is dirt on the NFL and owners–well, you better deliver fucko. Not that it will bring you brownie points, you flunky. Sad but true: if it weren’t for Congress, nothing would’ve happened.

Hate to finish on a downer, so

May apply to Snyder too. Have a great week, sickos

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