I Guarantee Green Bay Stays Undefeated this Week

My team is the greatest! What’s that? They’re on bye? Oh. How about a little mid-season update on them then?

The Packers are 6-0 and have the best record in the NFC. Green Bay has started a season 6-0 seven previous times, with the first six times bringing a World Championship. You’ll notice I didn’t say Super Bowl because this was back when I think there were only 3.5 teams in the league. What happened the most recent time the Packers started 6-0, in fact when they started 13-0 back in 2011?

Oh. Right.

This is why I’m not going to get all that excited about their hot start. Let’s face it, Aaron Rodgers is the best football human on the planet and makes the Packers a lock for the playoffs every year barring a catastrophic injury (I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about that happening). So it’s the playoffs that matter.  But let’s talk about the Packers in the regular season anyway, because they don’t get much media coverage. Small town and all. Did you know the Packers play in a small town with a college football environment and are owned by the fans?

The biggest story of their 2015 season thus far has been injuries.  Fucking injuries. The Packers have six players already on injured reserve, and lead the league in missed (and anticipated missed via IR) starts by players with 78 already. Jordy Nelson, the greatest whide receiver in history has been the biggest void to try and fill. What have they filled that void with? James Jones, that guy Terry who sells hot dogs, and a broom with most of the bristles gone.

But.

Rodgers is throwing them the ball. That’s why James Jones is tied for the league lead in touchdown receptions with six. The same James Jones who wasn’t good enough to stay with the Raiders, and was cut from the Giants this spring. Even so, this team is ranked 20th in passing offense and tied for 11th in total offense. Add to that a banged up Eddie Lacy and the offense has understandably not been the dominant force the league is used to seeing. So the reason they’re 6-0 must be the…defense?

The annual Fire Dom Capers into the Sun campaign has taken a bit of a hit this season. Although the team is a mediocre 17th in total yards allowed, partially from letting Marmalard eviscerate them for 500 yards last week, it is second in total sacks. It’s coming up in big moments with big plays, and a plethora of different players are blasting the opposing quarterback.

And look at Green Bay’s remaining schedule. Once they get past Ol’ Noodle Arm and Glory Boy the next two weeks, it’s four straight games against their laughingstock divisional “rivals”.

Defense playing well enough to help win games? Overcoming a seemingly overwhelming injury bug? Aaron Rodgers? It’s…it’s starting to feel like 2010. But no, I won’t let….I can’t….

IiiiiiiI YYyyeeaaahhh.. WE’RE GOING 16-0!

PACKERS WIN THE SUPER BOWL! PACKERRRS!