EPL Weekend and Hold That Tiger! JV NFL Conference Championship Preview Edition

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Welcome once again to all things Lesser Footy! I have no idea if/how to incorporate the coming exhibition games into this format, or whether to graft college basketballing onto the Euro-footy in the winter/spring. The mind, it boggles.

Anyway, last week’s sister kissing in Leicester allowed order to be restored and City to return to the top (goal differential over the Foxes). They get cromulent, pug-ugly 12th place Stoke to kick off the weekend (7:45 EST, NBCSN) as they look to solidify their position. Leicester gets the free falling (but still dangerous, in my view) Swans at 10 (Extra Time), while Manure play 8th place West Ham (10:00, NBCSN). Arsenal, back in their happy place in 4th, should be poised to capitalize on any slip-ups, hosting a rather dreadful Sunderland side (10, NBCSN).

9th place Everton and 7th place Palace square off in British MNF (3:00, NBCSN), in what should be the most evenly-matched fixture of the schedule. The Blues massively shit themselves at Bournemouth last weekend, but gathered themselves and turned in a very strong, professional performance at Middlesboro Tuesday night to advance to the semifinals of the League Cup. Nobody has any idea which Everton will turn up Monday, and whether it will change at halftime. FUN SHIT for the unbalanced fan!

Temple at Houston (Noon, ABC)

I can’t decide whether I like the fact that the better team gets to host the game, or if I more just like laughing at a conference championship that so few people care about that it can’t possibly be held at a neutral site. Anyway, the game itself could be fairly entertaining. Murrikan!!!

Texas at Baylor (Noon, ESPN)

Pointing and laughing at Texas is fun, and BayBay is angry. Good combination.

Florida vs. Alabama (4:00, CBS)

The TV schedule is more or less cleared out for this game, and it’s an absolute turd. The Gators may not break 100 yards of offense. Watch carefully to see if it’s puppy blood instead of Gatorade the players douse Nick Saban with (the tell will be if he smiles).

West Virginia at Kansas State (4:30, FS1)

The game has meaning only for the Fightin’ Undead Bill Snyders (bowl qualification), but the cousinfuckers can be entertaining at times. You will want a channel flipping option away from the SEC East derpage, trust me.

USC vs. Stanford (7:45, ESPN)

This game is important to me, in terms of keeping ALL POSSIBLE TALK of Darkest Timeline off the table. It’s pretty clear that the Condi Committee rightly sees the Tree as vastly superior to the Cheating Holes, but David Shaw’s extremely conventional ways will keep the Men of Troy in this one. Game is in Stanford’s backyard, at least.

Michigan State vs. Iowa (8:00, Fox)

First team to 10 wins (if any). Simplest playoff scenario for each, after the already in Boomer Sooner. Win and in, lose and no chance. Watch me look like an asshole and the game ends up 41-38 and the best teevee of the day.

Clemson vs. U*NC (8:00, ABC)

Hippo’s sanity requires a reckoning here. The Cheating Holes need to be put in their place. Clemson needs not to just beat them, but fucking ravage them. Tear them asunder. Make them wish their NCAA punishment had come before this game, so they could have baselessly insisted they would have won out and been national champs “if only everyone wasn’t out to get them.” The NC State/Clemson rivalry is a long one, but a friendly one, and I have no trouble cheering for them full-heartedly (even if Dabo is really, really annoying).

Also, a musical interlude since it’s officially December. I have championed this in the comments, but it deserves feature treatment as it is the single most beautiful performance I have ever heard. I also <3 Hope Sandoval as a fellow extreme introvert. Unlike me, Ms. Sandoval is also stunningly beautiful, so naturally was frequently misunderstood as being stuck up. Sexist bullshit. We are lucky she shared her angelic voice as often as she did.

Here are the complete lyrics, which made me cry like a baby as I typed this alone in my house on a cold Friday morning. This is the perfect winter song, hits me right in the gut, just with the genders reversed LMAO:

Before I let you down again,
I just want to see you in your eyes.
I wouldn’t have taken everything out on you,
I only thought you could understand.

They say every man goes blind in his heart,
And they say everybody steals somebody’s heart away.
And I got nothing more to say about it
Nothing more than you would me.

Send me your flowers of your December,
Send me your dreams of your candied wine.
I’ve got just one thing I can’t give you
Just one more thing of mine.

They say every man goes blind in his heart
And they say everybody steals somebody’s heart away
And I’ve been wondering why you let me down
And I’ve been taking it all for granted.

I’m such a gloomy fuck sometimes. Now, BEAT SOME GODDAMNED CAROLINA ASS, YOU ORANGE-CLAD CORNPONE MUTHAFUCKAS!!!

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Thank you, very much, Moose. One of my favorites from one of my favorite. Thank you, Scott.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS
WCS

This is strangely difficult to find on youtube.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

C’mon, Moose. It’s not fair to post pics of my college years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

GET IN FRONT OF THAT BUCKET. DON’T GIVE ME THIS “OLE” BULLSHIT.

http://www.hotindienews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/123.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Even Air Force lost the MWC Championship to San Diego State. In retrospect, it is unfortunate that AF has a running back with the name Timothy McVey. Homonyms are a bitch.

http://www.denverpost.com/colleges/ci_29205332/timothy-mcvey-touchdown-machine-air-force

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

“McVey FERTILIZING the defenders on that run!”

WCS

“He’s just blowing the defense out of here. He really bombed the defense on that one.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

“Oh, no! Not Travolta again!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

Hey it’s John Travolta. And a guy in a John Travolta mask on the left.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was hoping the machete was for John Travolta’s neck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

“HAPPY CHRISTMAS, HUMANS.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

I had to resort to a yahoo(!) article to find some outrage about that unc finish (since there is none here, what are you guys, drunk or something?) and the first comment made my day, from tarheel39:
“NCAA will probably void all our wins anyway. ”
Possibly a fake but quite amusing nonetheless.

WCS

Borderline drunk, yes. I couldn’t care less about the ACC, even more for UNC. When wifey was looking for jorbs fresh out of college, UNC-Durham hospital was on the table. They told her, “We’re above taking in students from other universities.” We then endured 18 shitacular months in Roanoke, VA, but, she then was hired by UVA, and then got a Master’s from Penn.
Yeah, yinz guys really go out of your way to not hire outside of the university because you don’t want rats on a sinking ship.

For the record, I don’t like Clemson. Their fans are the very worst of entitled hillbilly trash. But, UNC can kiss my pube hair after a workout. I never liked UVA, and I certainly never liked Philadelphia. But, it’s funny how things work themsevles out. Charlottesville (UVA still molests collies) and Philly have earned my admiration from keeping us out of the sewer that is the University of North Carolina.

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

I only really think of unc as the Chinese needle snakes to Duke’s bird eating lizards, in a basketball sense. The lesser of two evils. And didn’t they go 0-fer not too long ago in football? And they employed Butch Davis? Anyway. The call was complete trash and the first thing I think of is that the ref was doing it to save his legs from getting broken. It is one more straw towards giving up on college football altogether. And, it only gives unc fans an excuse to be whiny about shit in the future. There’s no guarantee they would’ve pulled off the upset, but a properly officiated game is always the best option.
/Fine, also very drunk, but that probably has nothing to do with anything.

WCS

All part of life’s rich pageant, you know?
comment image

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

Perhaps. At least they’re not south carolina, whose motto is, I believe, “First to Secede.”

makeitsnowondem

Yeah that call was horseshit. I was mad online about it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Gotta love Russia.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Two friends out for a run.

Croooow
Croooow
WCS

I want to make a castration joke here, but…

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

THE MOTHERLOAD!!!!
http://www.yashuntafun.com/?page_id=5
I’ll BE IN MY BUKN!
THAT’S A EUPHEMISM FOR MASTURBATING!!

entropy

The oddest thing about this, to me, is that there is Wet Hot American Summer cosplay.

WCS

I’m pretty famous in the cosplay circuit for my can of vegetables costume.

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

BUBBLE WRAP!!!
http://www.yashuntafun.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/DSC_0083e.jpg
SOMETHING TO DO AFTER I BLOW IN 5 SECONDS

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox
WCS

Hunch hunch. What what?

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

MORE OF THIS GIRL!!!
comment image

WCS

See? I’m not deranged! At least in this respect.

makeitsnowondem

clempson

WCS

Dabo. Dabo! DABO!

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