Stupid window crashed on me and I am typing this for a second time. Like it was even very good the first time, for fuck’s sake.
Browns at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)
Better late than never? I suppose the SeaTruthers can take up that rallying cry, after a rash of RB injuries and meh defensive work forced them to reluctantly become a passing team. And, much like at every other non-bedroom step in his prolific career, the Charmslinger has been up to the task. I have nothing new to say about the clownshow that is The Factory. Like my dead pappy used to say, “it is what it is.”
Packers at Raiders (4:05, Fox)
One franchise on its way up, the other on its way down (though Rodgers remains exceptional). A pretty fascinating matchup, I wish this had been flexed to SNF instead of the silly Bird Battle. Great shootout potential, too.
Broncos at Steelers (4:25, CBS)
Today’s featured fixture, for certain, with immense implications for the playoff race (even at 11 wins, there will be one chair too few for the Jets, Chefs, Stillers, and Donks) and for homefield. Denver absolutely has to win this week or next (home vs. Cincy) or they are royally fucked, as would then lose any and all tiebreakers. I have a really bad feeling about this one, as The Ben looks like he has been promised all the Choco Tacos he can eat of late.
Bengals at 49ers (4:25, CBS)
Don’t forget to ask about Tomsula’s sign spinning discounts! Speaking of spinners…wonder if we will see screenshots of AJ McCarron’s bae? You know Brent Musberger will be watching.
Dolphins at Chargers (4:25, CBS)
Probably will be on constant loop at Gitmo all week. DO SOMETHING, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL!!
I’m drunk and heartbroken because the Chargers just likely played their last game in San Diego and this picture punches me right in the gut…
Eric Weddle signed autographs for two hours after the game, until everyone who wanted one had one…then he went and lied down on the 50 yard line knowing he’d almost certainly played his last game in lightning bolts.
Eric Weddle deserves better. San Diego deserves better. Fuck you Dean Spanos.
http://i.imgur.com/Qw0n3mF.jpg
None of these fuckwit AFC teams can stop the Pats. Except maybe Cheifs? Haha nope
This is really depressing.
Looks like it’s going to be Balls and me in the Insanity League Final.
*cough* fuckin homer *cough*
dont be jelly
Fucking Steelers
Fucking Broncos
Fucking Football
Well looks like its agony time for me in half an hour. Just rolled one and opened a bottle of red to make the pain subdued.
Whatever kind of mood you’re in tonight.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://i.imgur.com/myJu9BC.gif
Thanks for getting my hopes up, Donks. You incompetent fucks. At least have the dignity to lose your last two games so the Jets can have the playoff spot you clearly don’t deserve.
While I’m not without empathy, seeing the Donks and Stillers fans here in a misery spiral is quite a sight.
It’s almost like neither team won.
AB FOAR BIMMONS CHILDREN FATHER
There are VERY few things in this world worse than listening to Pheeeeeel’s verbal diarrhea whilst your team’s season goes down the shitter.
To be fair it is almost as bad even if your team is winning
That really sucks.
We replaced Brock Osweiler with Rex Grossman. The suddenly pregnant men and women in the eighth row are the only ones who noticed.
/tugs at his shirt
Mr. Hippo? Is there a Donksy Claus?
FUCK NO KID, now bring Hippo some pills
OXYCLAUS!
MAKE IT STOP. LET IT END.
That reminds me, I have to find my old wedding night videos.
Reception or honeymoon suite, wink wink, nudge nudge?
I have seen the future and it is fucking bleak.
Willie don’t dance until the game is over, please.
Brock “I refuse to throw into anything less than triple-coverage Osweiller.
Rex Grossman: “That is my thing”
please
Osweiler is trying to lose this game on every fucking down
GREAT SUCCESS!