(pictured above are my FF team’s chances against Make It Snow)
Because I haven’t written anything in a long time and because it doesn’t look like anyone else had anything scheduled.
Today is the last day of fantasy football. I am in the championship against Make It Snow in OSZ’s league. So far I have started Antonio Gates and Make It Snow has started Jordan Reed. We’ve each played one guy and I’m down 27 points. This does not seem to bode well but I expect big things from Odell Beckh…he what? Oh fuck this.
In Sill’s League of Insanity I may or may not have a game. I’m not in the championship I know that. After surviving the hilarity of a 20 team league we have WCS’s peppy underdog, Kreiger’s Van Van against the heavily favored Balls of Steel’s BoS Underwear Models. Frankly before last night I would have bet on WCS but then BoS got the well-known “Kirk Cousins Bounce” that all FF players strive for, and was also fortunate enough to start Oakland’s D against the Los Angeles Chargers of San Diego Credit Union in the Poinsettia Bowl and is currently favored to prevail 301.59 to 245.42. I do not understand the scoring in this league very well, but I do know that WCS has Cam Newton and Jerry Richardson fully expects Cam to make up at least 3/5 of that projected deficit, so don’t rule Kreiger’s Van Van out just yet.
In other news I have completed the dreaded Three Days of Family circuit and have today to do nothing but lounge around and watch TV, play video ga…oh dear God the wife has grabbed the best TV and has a Judd Nelson Christmas movie on the Hallmark channel. Judd has not been doing a lot of cardio or sit-ups lately. I’m going to go poison her oatmeal so I can get the remote.
WOOOO!!!
I heard they’re only going to let Cam play 3/5ths of the game.
So should I risk starting Drew Brees with his fucked-up foot or nah? My fallback is Teddy Bridgewater against the Giants.
For a moment, I read that as “Drew Bees” and I thought that there’s no way you can sit a guy who’s made of literal bees.
If you could combine his DNA with some from Ray Ray Armstrong you could have a player that when he barks he shoots bees at you.
The N.O. game has shootout written all over it. Take Brees.
I’d go with Bridgewater, but Mike Wallace is Just. So. Useless. Any defensive back can contain him at this point. Except Chris Prosinski.
Well since I’m playing you for the title I say go with Bridgewater.
make it; I added a couple of beerz to ur post, if you are interested.
Sitting in a corner of the living room…wondering if I am ever going to be able to piss on my own ever again…and my sister walks up.
I had gone out and bought a shitload of raw oysters, beers, shrimp, potatoes, and onions….and steamed the shrimp in the garage while I got a good bit of beer in me.
I think all told, I put $300 into the endeavor.
So my sister kept making a big deal all day yesterday to my parents that this was “our” Christmas gift to them. Come this morning, my sister shoves a $20 bill in my shirt like I am some stripper and tells me “we’re even now”.
“For what?”
“The cooking and the food”
“I spent more than double of this on fucking Nati Boh…are you fucking serious?!?”
“MOM…JustStopDude SMOKES! DID YOU KNOW THAT?!? And last night he sneaked out to see that whore again”
So now…I got my parents giving me shit for everything in my fucking life because my sister is a petty cheap fucker…
Dear god I hate the holidays.
At least you’ve got the whore.
Thanks to the Slurs, 0% chance of the dreaded NFC East Week 17 Flex. Right?
/checks internet
Oh, the NFL’s still in charge. 5%.
I did coffee and cigs yesterday outside in a fridged garage. Completely sober but haven’t had them together for forever so I went for it at 3 pm and got accused of being wasted. Again, 100% sober then. I napped before 3rd Xmas after that with my mom so that didn’t help, still was sober.
My 3 Xmas’s are Father, Mother, and Grandma. I missed the 8 hours of driving to visit my grammy this year because my mom brought her dog in a car she takes her in daily and I nearly died 10 minutes into the road trip. I am going next month to visit her. Making my mom take my car though.
/Fuck you she likes grammy
♫ H-G-H, I need you bad ♫
“That’s a first rate steroid dip….”
Dear fucking god…I just now got back to my parents place…I fucking…destroyed my back…completely with the previous nights festivities. I cannot feel anything below the waist.
Spina bifida fucking sucks…
http://i.imgur.com/zoZ1GbD.jpg
Off the top of my head it seems like there are several OSHA violations going on in this picture.
Nyet…OHSA is propaganda tool for Western Imperialists!
Apparently so are ladders.
I mentioned it yesterday but for a championship my opponent is without Dez and OBJ.
/what did you say, “Get to work on the fucking open thread?” Geez, alright, alright.
I have been up for 5 hours, bored out of my mind, 2 giant bottles of whiskey next to me that I haven’t touched… ok I had some with my coffee. Still 2 more hours til the games
The Slurs-Iggles game thread ended with 666 comments. Mark of the Least!
Was it on purpose?
You’ll need to ask Satan.
“You’ll need to ask Satan…”
http://www.sportsmansdaily.com/thescrum/wp-content/sportsmansdaily.com_10024_4472.jpg
YEEEEEEEHAWWWWW THAT COMMENT THREAD ENDED UP JUST LIKE I PLANNED IT!!!! I AM FUCKING CRAZZZZZZEEEEEEE!!!! Also I am the Anti-Christ.
I am looking at losing to Zymm in the finals in one league, and a solid showing but maybe 3rd in the insanity league
Since every playoff spot could be clinched this week, I hope that happens leaving NBC with absolutely nothing worthwhile to show next Sunday night.
Why would NBC change from the weekly strategy of showing only terrible games the last week of the season? That just doesn’t make sense
Terrible games that appeal to big markets. With the NFC Clusterfuck now decided and most of those teams maxed out in terms of primetime appearances, NBC execs are sweating.
(They’re just going to air Packers-Vikings and fellate Favre a bunch.)
I’ve heard they might flex in the Oakland-KC game. Could have big implications.
Especially if Denver poops the bed.
I’ve heard that uncontrollable bowel movements are a side effect of HGH, so it’s certainly possible.