Basketball Coma – Friday Afternoon Edition

MOAR Arkansas-Little Rocks, amirite?? Please, in the name of BLEERGH?

10MW Syracuse vs. 7MW Dayton (12:15, CBS)

PRO TIP (and you should DEFINITELY listen to me, what with my 10% success rate yesterday) – the major conference team that gets in despite near-unanimous opinion that it had no business doing so…tends to end up winning at least their first game. And this Dayton team is kind of a hot mess. But here’s some Alice in Chains for beloved fellow wolven alum Arch Miller:

15S UNC-Asheville vs. 2S Villanova (12:40, truTV)

Fun fact, my mom spent her first two years of college at UNC-A (my kinfolk come from the mountains) before marrying my Dad and finishing up at NC State. This does not, sadly, make them any better at basketball.

10W VCU vs. 7W Oregon State (1:30, TNT)

No longer coached by Michelle Obama’s brother, nobody gives a shit about the Beavers no more…and yet here they are. Weakest 7 by a mile, so watch them beat the Rams like a rented mule. This was not a banner year for the A-10.

13S Hawaii vs. 4S California (2:00, TBS)

We don’t give a damn how you did it up north WOO!!! I picked the mighty Rainbow Warriors in every bracket, as Cal is a West Coast version of LSU. ESPN drools over the “NBA talent” but that does not a good team make. Hawaii’s guards will run circles around the Bears (sorry, Covalent).

15MW Middle Tennessee vs. 2MW Michigan State (2:45, CBS)

The good news for the Blue Raiders is that they avoided being a 16 seed! The bad news is that I lied about there being any good news.

10S Temple vs. 7S Iowa (3:10, truTV)

A trip to the Sweet Sixteen is on the line, as everybody knows Jay Wright is cursed in the 2nd round. Despite their late swoon, I have a sneaking Iowa feeling. Probably just gas.

15W CS-Bakersfield vs. 2W Oklahoma (4:00, TNT)

Tough draw for Team Baskets. Start watching that show, you heathens. On the other sideline, this really could be Lon Kruger’s year.

12S South Dakota State vs. 5S Maryland (4:30, TBS)

You’re a jackrabbit, you ain’t foolin’ no one. Better run for the hills, don’t look back.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh damn.
/I will be useless now
//love her

bourb0nblues

Home just in time to see Trimble fuck it all up.

Unsurprised

Well, we all know the aftermath: Grieving parents, orphaned children, and a nation shocked to its very core.

Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gents, I’m on Peter King’s preferred form of transportation, my bracket is fucked, and I’m still not drinking. Is it April yet?

montythisseemsstrangetome

JUST DRINK DAMMIT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Counterpoint:

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ThePirateSloth

Have we used up all references to the Butcher of Bakersfield today?

Unsurprised

I can’t imagine.

Unsurprised

Alright, I think the next kill will be made by… Ben Richards.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Win?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not suck for five minutes.
So yeah…basically the same thing.

Unsurprised

Kill 10,000 Persians?

JustStopDude
Unsurprised

DUCK!

Horatio Cornblower

Time for the monthly poker tournament. Hopefully I can play better than I can pick college basketball games.

montythisseemsstrangetome

grumble grumble if your mom’s playing i’ll poker grumble grumble

Unsurprised

Sexy time with Mrs. Cornblower again so soon?

JustStopDude

comment image

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ. I just burst out laughing in this coffee shop.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Does the coffee taste funny?

(joke stolen from Scotchy)

Unsurprised

I want to hate you for that, but I can’t. And it’s Portland cold brew. So it’s SERIOUS COFFEE™.

ThePirateSloth

Fuck those kids. I went to an art school too.

Unsurprised

“Fuck those kids.”

“Is there time?” — totally not-pedo priests.

Unsurprised

Things turned out pretty well for Buddy in the end, though.