Your “Cinco de Drinko” Thirsty Thursday Open Thread

Another light day in the NFL. How long until OTAs and the inevitable Jags draftee injury?

Ole Miss is shocked…SHOCKED that people are taking Laremy Tunsil’s accusation seriously. Secret footage unearthed by crack DFO researchers discovered coach/eventual supervillain Hugh Freeze being confronted by NCAA investigators inside what I can only imagine is the alumni association building. Apparently, Ole Miss had been informed of an investigation back in January, but the draft-night revelations turned things up to 11. University admin has until the end of May to respond to the NCAA.

Taking another page from Crimebeat!, JFF has been arraigned and given his release conditions. Obviously, the no-contact order, and no guns, is the key takeaway here; standard domestic violence procedures for release. The best thing his ex-girlfriend did was delete her social media, because I’m sure there’s no A&M bros who want to give her their opinions. Rich Eisen raised a pretty interesting point related to affluenza & Manziel. He didn’t believe JFF has it – he, refreshingly, doesn’t buy into that Texas-bred bullshit – but he did offer up the context that Manziel’s lived so far up his own ass for so long, he may not know any better at this point in life. Working with dropouts, I get his point: If you’ve never been told your behaviour is wrong, and that you are a precious little angel that no one should ever question, why would you listen to the learned voices telling you that you’re wrong? I work with kids two levels below regular school, and I’m constantly having to break them of that thinking, because that attitude got them sent to me, “and that’s not a reward”. Sometimes, I’m the first person whose ever tried to “parent” them. In that context, I kinda see his argument.

Counterpoint: he’s an anti-Tebow with the same arm.


So, after deleting all the spam related to phony charities and the Fort Mac fire, at the top of my inbox was an advertisement,

Go on…

There it is. Commemorate the Battle of Puebla with a discount, and maybe a salad. God Emperor Doom Trump knows what I’m talking about.

Actual twitter photo today. “The best taco bowls are made in the Trump Tower grill.”

Unfortunately, it’s not that big a deal in Canada, as everyone instead chooses to focus on Victoria Day, the official start of the summer drinking season. But it reminded me that, like how every Saturday now has a charity walk/run/cycle, every cultural holiday is now a mass-market PAR-TAY! And I say, “About time!”. St. Patrick’s Day has had it too comfortable for too long.

WAY too comfortable.

Of course, the thought of all-day drinking sent me down the reminiscence rabbit hole. God, I miss university. My BA was probably the best 6 years of my life. Parties! Road trips! I helped found a concert that stood as the official end-of-year celebration for 15 years. I drank like someone was going to take it away, and I ate like Papa John’s kid. On the day I graduated in 1992, I was 6 foot, 130 lbs, and probably had a 0.14 BAC.

Actual photo

I went to the University hospital last month for an MRI and decided to go on a walking tour of the campus after it was done. BIG MISTAKE! Everyone else was 18-22, so now I looked like the creepy grad student. Going into a building? Don’t follow too close behind! Libraries I studied in? Demolished! Taking photos? Better make sure someone’s not in it without their permission! An afternoon beverage? THE OLD BAR WAS CLOSED!!! Sure, it was “dark” and “condemned”, but that was part of its charm, and I helped make it that way, dammit!

For extra depression, I went to the new Student Council offices to look at the old photos. Because – like many people – I had delusions of grandeur about myself and actually ran for, and won, student council office. My God – how did that kid ever get any action in university, let alone at all?! I could see the Canadian Club coursing through my veins; no wonder I don’t remember 1987. I was translucent. That’s not how I remember things.

Never go back, kids. You don’t miss “university”; you miss the concept of “you at university”. Write ’em a cheque every ten years for the alumni fund or for whatever building they’re talking about renovating. Live in the memories; don’t try to re-live them.

Don’t be like Troy.

The games!

NHL:

  • Stars @ Blues – 8:00 – Game 4 (Blues up 2-1)
  • Sharks @ Predators – 9:00 Game 4 (Sharks up 2-1)

NBA: Miami @ Toronto – 8:00 – Game 2

Enjoy your evening. DON’T EAT THE WORM!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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