Your “Cinco de Drinko” Thirsty Thursday Open Thread

Another light day in the NFL. How long until OTAs and the inevitable Jags draftee injury?

Ole Miss is shocked…SHOCKED that people are taking Laremy Tunsil’s accusation seriously. Secret footage unearthed by crack DFO researchers discovered coach/eventual supervillain Hugh Freeze being confronted by NCAA investigators inside what I can only imagine is the alumni association building. Apparently, Ole Miss had been informed of an investigation back in January, but the draft-night revelations turned things up to 11. University admin has until the end of May to respond to the NCAA.

Taking another page from Crimebeat!, JFF has been arraigned and given his release conditions. Obviously, the no-contact order, and no guns, is the key takeaway here; standard domestic violence procedures for release. The best thing his ex-girlfriend did was delete her social media, because I’m sure there’s no A&M bros who want to give her their opinions. Rich Eisen raised a pretty interesting point related to affluenza & Manziel. He didn’t believe JFF has it – he, refreshingly, doesn’t buy into that Texas-bred bullshit – but he did offer up the context that Manziel’s lived so far up his own ass for so long, he may not know any better at this point in life. Working with dropouts, I get his point: If you’ve never been told your behaviour is wrong, and that you are a precious little angel that no one should ever question, why would you listen to the learned voices telling you that you’re wrong? I work with kids two levels below regular school, and I’m constantly having to break them of that thinking, because that attitude got them sent to me, “and that’s not a reward”. Sometimes, I’m the first person whose ever tried to “parent” them. In that context, I kinda see his argument.

Counterpoint: he’s an anti-Tebow with the same arm.


So, after deleting all the spam related to phony charities and the Fort Mac fire, at the top of my inbox was an advertisement,

Go on…

There it is. Commemorate the Battle of Puebla with a discount, and maybe a salad. God Emperor Doom Trump knows what I’m talking about.

Actual twitter photo today. “The best taco bowls are made in the Trump Tower grill.”

Unfortunately, it’s not that big a deal in Canada, as everyone instead chooses to focus on Victoria Day, the official start of the summer drinking season. But it reminded me that, like how every Saturday now has a charity walk/run/cycle, every cultural holiday is now a mass-market PAR-TAY! And I say, “About time!”. St. Patrick’s Day has had it too comfortable for too long.

WAY too comfortable.

Of course, the thought of all-day drinking sent me down the reminiscence rabbit hole. God, I miss university. My BA was probably the best 6 years of my life. Parties! Road trips! I helped found a concert that stood as the official end-of-year celebration for 15 years. I drank like someone was going to take it away, and I ate like Papa John’s kid. On the day I graduated in 1992, I was 6 foot, 130 lbs, and probably had a 0.14 BAC.

Actual photo

I went to the University hospital last month for an MRI and decided to go on a walking tour of the campus after it was done. BIG MISTAKE! Everyone else was 18-22, so now I looked like the creepy grad student. Going into a building? Don’t follow too close behind! Libraries I studied in? Demolished! Taking photos? Better make sure someone’s not in it without their permission! An afternoon beverage? THE OLD BAR WAS CLOSED!!! Sure, it was “dark” and “condemned”, but that was part of its charm, and I helped make it that way, dammit!

For extra depression, I went to the new Student Council offices to look at the old photos. Because – like many people – I had delusions of grandeur about myself and actually ran for, and won, student council office. My God – how did that kid ever get any action in university, let alone at all?! I could see the Canadian Club coursing through my veins; no wonder I don’t remember 1987. I was translucent. That’s not how I remember things.

Never go back, kids. You don’t miss “university”; you miss the concept of “you at university”. Write ’em a cheque every ten years for the alumni fund or for whatever building they’re talking about renovating. Live in the memories; don’t try to re-live them.

Don’t be like Troy.

The games!

NHL:

  • Stars @ Blues – 8:00 – Game 4 (Blues up 2-1)
  • Sharks @ Predators – 9:00 Game 4 (Sharks up 2-1)

NBA: Miami @ Toronto – 8:00 – Game 2

Enjoy your evening. DON’T EAT THE WORM!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

That overhead replay makes me giggle. Grown men throwing themselves on that puck.
Pay attention Cam Newton.

WCS

STORNG

Covalent Blonde

The fifteenth whistle blow means that it is back n play, right?

JustStopDude

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WCS

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HUH? WHAT?! HUH?! FUCK YOU, DAY-GLO! ONLY ONE HIGH COMMANDER IS ANOINTED BY JESUS TO POSSESS THE GIFT OF MOUTHEYES!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Love that one. Always gives me a laugh.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It makes me want to cry inside and then punch it like 50 times. I guess we are different people

montythisseemsstrangetome

WCS, are there new Archers on FX? I usually only watch it on Netflix and I just finished season 6.

WCS

Yup, but this week’s was part two of a two-parter, so it may not make sense.

montythisseemsstrangetome

I’ll just wait for them to be on Netflix then.

Unsurprised

watchseries (dot) li (slash) episode/archer_s7_e6.html

Unsurprised

I run uBlock origin on Chrome, and I wouldn’t suggest visiting that site without that or noscript or some other ad-blocking extension(s).

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Chrome with Adbockplus and Ghostery is the thing I have found works best. You have to allow videos via Ghostery on some sites but it is really easy to figure out if ESPN.com should be oked. I don’t hate the others, just saying what I use on mine and anyone elses that makes me fix their comp

Unsurprised

I ran that until I read about Adblock whitelisting sponsor sites. uBlock runs Ghostery’s blacklists, so I just stick with that one. YMMV.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Isn’t it on FXX now? Sorry if I am wrong, I just steal it most of the time unless I catch it late on the DVR my dad does during hockey playoffs

Unsurprised

It should be if one has cable.

JustStopDude

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Unsurprised

Isn’t that the first kaiju Jax fights in Pacific Rim?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That guy really seems to want to hammer somebody.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Then again, as much as he got hammered during his career (PHRASING), I can understand why.

Covalent Blonde

Sexually?

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’ll have to ask him I guess.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No worries CB…you got ’em right where ya want ’em.
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WCS

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Covalent Blonde

Oh god! My little Sea Guppies are going to get stuck in the pipes and then kicked in the head? Kill me now!

montythisseemsstrangetome

I never know if the “craft” beers I get at my local liquor shop are all that rare or not. Deschutes Black Butte Porter is pretty good. I’m not actually drinking some InBev product, am I?

bourb0nblues

It’s a decent brew… enjoy it!

Covalent Blonde

Curse you, Tooth Cats!

Covalent Blonde

Gawd. Damn. It.

Covalent Blonde

And, to make it worse, we are garbage in OT.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Left Shark is sad.

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

All I see is Human Centipede, man.

WCS

Younger Cat is shockingly bad at tracking and hunting the very large mosquito in here.

Unsurprised

Thank God those are male and don’t suck blood or else I’d drown myself in deet.

WCS

Unsurprised

Oh, shit. Dublin’s is in the Metro Center building? Nice choice, Balls.

Unsurprised

Check your private dick jokes

ballsofsteelandfury

Just did. I replied.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Vanderbilt is better at teh hockey than I expected.

Senor Weaselo

I see Left Shark and raise In the Navy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KlJ2Uyu4U0

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is there anyway we can get him to go back to hosting a Late Night show. His interviews were always the best or just trainwrecks, no in between, no talking points

Senor Weaselo

Join or Die’s monologues are pretty good, the rest of the show depends on the topic and the rest of the panel.

Covalent Blonde

It’s like you can see my dancing right now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe…you got mad skillz then.

Covalent Blonde

I’m what you could call a “rhythmic flailer”

JerBear50

Quit talking to my ex. She’s a liar.

Covalent Blonde

Sexy wookie!

WCS

How is Patrick “I’m Pretty” Marleau? Seems like he’s been with the Sharks since they were founded.

Covalent Blonde

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lusbe517os1r1n5o3o1_500.jpg

He’s still pretty beloved. Yao Ming eyebrows and all.

Covalent Blonde

Get back in the crease Jonesy, you giant-eyed son of a bitch!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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herodotus450

Is there a Stanley Cup winning ex-Blackhawk on every remaining team?

Covalent Blonde

Can’t say that we have one on our roster anymore now with Niemi in Dallas.

herodotus450

Yeah I guess Dallas has the market cornered there. But St. Louis has Troy Brouer, Wash has… nobody I guess. NYI have Nick Leddy. Maybe Trevor Daley for Pitt, though he didn’t win a cup there.

bourb0nblues

Ice Romos with the early OT goal… dammit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you, Dallas.

Unsurprised

Okay. I can definitely meet up for lunch tomorrow.

WCS

Damn you Left Coasters… DFO East needs to have a meet-up somewhere.

Covalent Blonde

Look, we are just as hospitable to any Commentist Party when they make their way out here. For example, were I to still be in Southern California for the weird giant concert with the Rolling Stones, you could have all stayed at my place.

JerBear50

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ballsofsteelandfury

Cool! When you get to DTLA, comment on whatever post is up. I’ll comment back.

Unsurprised

I’m sending you a private dick joke with my email.

bourb0nblues

11 bench points just ain’t gonna get it done Miami… GO RAPTORS!

Unsurprised

I’ll be rolling in to Metro Center at 7th some time between 11:30 and 12:15.

Covalent Blonde

Well, if you want breakfast Sunday… and by breakfast I mean bloody Maries or something on Saturday night

Unsurprised

Neat.

Covalent Blonde

Internet, don’t make me regret this!
/shakes fist at sky

tabwhit (at) gmail (dot) com
Eight12. 340.9077

I will be off in the woods Saturday during the day, but I am mighty flexible otherwise… just you know, a couple hours away.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have already stolen your identity, you now have a Best Buy rewards card that I will use. Mwah ha ha

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice wide gap you gave yourself.

PHRASING.

Covalent Blonde

I love you, weird little Nashville hockey valet! I wish we had one of you in San Jose.

Doktor Zymm

Based on stuff here, and stuff elsewhere, I have so many questions about men and their opinions of women’s asses. But this is not the time, Have A Lovely Night Y’all!

Unsurprised

It’s like the Supreme Court’s definition of porn: I can’t tell you, but I know when I see it.

Unsurprised

At this point it’s easier for me to just download any imgur gifs you post and repost them than try to find an alternative or suggest the bypass (which I use to see them in the first place). It sucks though because imgur is a major image host and a lot of stuff is only there.

Covalent Blonde

YAY! Not offsides!

Doktor Zymm

For the record..images that don’t show up, right click, open in new tab, reload. It’s effort, but eh, sometimes, whatever.

Sill Bimmons

Or just don’t post any imgur images and make certain that your URL image posts end in .jpg, .png, or .gif.

This really isn’t that hard.

Apologies to JustStopDude.

Doktor Zymm

There are occasionally surprises, but yeah, basically this. So much stuff hosted on imgur though, it’s a shame about the incompatibility .

Sill Bimmons

Adapt or die.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Straight open in new tab doesn’t work for me. Copy image url -> paste in new tab works though

herodotus450

they just show up as links for me, so a middle click opens them in a new tab, easier than a pie stuffed inside a cake.

ballsofsteelandfury

Unsurprised, what time are you going to be around DTLA? I’m having lunch at The Counter around noon. If you wanna meet up, I’ll buy you a beer.

Unsurprised

I arrive tomorrow morning at 9:51 at Long Beach. Then I’m taking a Lyft to the metro to get to DTLA to meet my brother. So … 10:45? I have no idea what I’m doing once I get to downtown.

ballsofsteelandfury

Luckily, I’ve no meetings at that time! If you’re not scheduled for anything, Dublin’s should be open and serving. I could meet you there.

Unsurprised

I’ll check with my brother to see when he plans to pick me up.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cool. Let me know.

Covalent Blonde

Wait, what’s this? Do I need to make the drive to LA this weekend?

ballsofsteelandfury

Can you drive out tomorrow? Duck work

Covalent Blonde

No, I have to fly down for a case in San Felipe in Baja for an out-and-back

Unsurprised

BOOOOOOOOO!!!

Covalent Blonde

Where are you Saturday or Sunday?

Unsurprised

No idea.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice! PHRASING!

Covalent Blonde

EQUALIZER!

Covalent Blonde

Fuck my life. Offsides. Fuck me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sorry, had some tabs open. Middle one is girl from Agents of Shield if it didn’t open for other people. Didn’t think it was an imgur

Unsurprised
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It was actually this one

http://i.imgur.com/loNutzc.gif

Unsurprised

I know. But this is the ultimate one because she’s at her jiggliest.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I realized what you meant after I had already posted my 3rd try. I was going off the presumption of you assuming I had posted that one first

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Doktor Zymm

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...

Dat ass.

Doktor Zymm

Photoshop is an equal opportunity ass modifier.

...

I feel a bit less inadequate now.

ballsofsteelandfury

Implants. That shit can’t possibly be real.

Covalent Blonde

Yeah… pretty positive that’s not even close to Lundquist’s ass. King Henrik would have long stopped risking his life as a net minder if his career would be equally as lucrative as an ass model

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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WCS

Holy piss on a stick, Archer was fucking brilliant.

JustStopDude

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Unsurprised
herodotus450

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litre_cola

Gotta say the article on Deadspin cheating at golf made me laugh a lot today. Who drives ahead without the rest of the group teeing off????

Don T

Or if you prefer your Mexican bands being blatant The Police ripoffs who sing a shitload about butterflies, check out Maná.

Do not check out Maná.
/spits

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I absolutely hate Trump and honestly think if he is elected the world might end in a nuclear apocalypse or at the very least set the US back 50 years in progress, but it was mentioned earlier than Hillary is not a criminal and it is a witch hunt. No. she is guilty as fuck. Let’s just assume for the moment she didn’t send confidential information out on her email (She did). Just her setting up her own private email server is a major crime. I have had to set up so many systems with 1000 specific rules for health care and financial systems and if you get one thing wrong you can get fined and/or get jail time. She by her own admission set up her own system so it would be easier to work from one account personal and professional(<– already bad). It broke a shit ton of laws. The verdict she got today was "she didn't mean to break any laws", which is like if you broke into a store, stole a bunch of money and got a not guilty verdict by saying I didn't know it was wrong to steal and the judge just let you off.

Gratliff

This. All the other bullshit people sling at her for shit she shouldn’t be on the hook for, and the one thing black-and-white illegal is largely ignored/not understood.

...

This is basically saying “even when she’s not guilty, she’s still guilty” which is pretty much what I’m talking about. She can’t not be a criminal because everyone will continually assume she is and it’s just a matter of time before we get her on *something.*

And around we go.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

But she is guilty, and admitted it.

Gratliff

I’ve spent enough time arguing with stupid people who wanted her arrested for her non-existent Benghazi crimes, and am ultimately pretty neutral towards her as a politician. However, the private server bothers the fuck out of me. I’m not going to give her a pass on it just because people have been dicks to her in the past. Of course, I don’t think anything more than a slap on the wrist is warranted, especially in a world where Henry Kissinger is still a free man.

...

I think what annoys me is that one of the reasons these private servers are set up is because the government servers are antiqued and a pain in the ass to deal with when accessing anything off site. Clinton is the first one to do this and I don’t think she’ll be the last. While I can understand it’s against the law, this sounds like an issue of “why is our government using email servers that drive high-level people to use their own instead?” rather than “we can finally nail Hillary to the wall for something because we know she’s up to no good!”

Unsurprised

Did she even try to have that fixed before she went private, though? Obama wanted to keep his Blackberry when he became President and they figured out a way to do that. I’m sure the Secretary of State can get the same deal if she asked.

herodotus450
JustStopDude

You know Ross Perot’s Reform Party is still around?

You can vote for their candidate….

http://www.vote4lynn2016.com/intro?splash=1

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Didn’t that party get hijacked by Pat Buchannan a while back?

JustStopDude

And David Duke…

theeWeeBabySeamus

He was a fun guy, eh?

Don T

Maldita Vecindad – Pachuco
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NU98A06acYQ

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

So on the way home from work I stopped off to get gas. I go in and pay and as I’m leaving I glance down and there’s $40 sitting six inches from the door. After a brief struggle of conscience the angel won me over and I handed it to the cashier. I know I made the right choice but it’s weird that it doesn’t feel like I did. Hopefully karma is kind for my good deed.
…and hopefully that cashier didn’t pocket my charity.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The cashier appreciates your contribution.

...

I went to a gas station today and when the pump didn’t work learned they were out of gas.

WCS

That’s gude splain’!

Doktor Zymm

Is that actually the whole chart?

herodotus450

That’s the whole image I got on GIS, the url said something about the economist, and we all know what they say about economists

Doktor Zymm

Okay, it’s from a Washington Post article last July, and there is no further explanation as to what that there x axis is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Maybe those really are the raw numbers?