Your “Imagine Every US Network Saying to Root For the Celtics” Tuesday Open Thread

Before my rant, some brief NFL-related news:

  • Fun times in the WIP listening area:
    • Darren Sproles is not attending OTAs because the Eagles dared to field trade calls after the draft. While it’s not a case of full-blown TO that Sam Bradford has, it just adds more fuel to the 6-10 fire
    • On the trade talk, Bradford has now gone 100% “blame the agent“. Oh, and with no offers available, he now wants to stay.
    • Seahawk Michael Bennett took a run at Bradford in the media, saying Bradford “sets a bad tone of what a player should be”. These birds play each other in Week 11 in Seattle; now I want to go.
  • BOLTMAN CONTROLS YOUR MOM’S CYCLE!

    While on the topic of dumping on other teams, Brandon Mebane says the Chargers have more defensive talent that his former Seahawks. It’s one thing to talk up your new team, but it’s not like he just left the Browns. Also, what he fails to mention is that Seattle has a QB with a higher completion rate, whereas San Diego has a QB with a higher conception rate. IT’S ALL GOOD HUSTLE!!!

  • The Panthers have released Brandon Boykin. This concludes your monthly Boykin update.
  • This week’s “Acela Excreta” has PK musing about Dwight Freeney to the Patriots, and how a two-parent household makes for the best draft-eligible quarterbacks. Oh, and he also pimps his commencement address at Plymouth State. If you want to go mad, go nuts; be sure to stick around for the “Free Brady!” chants.
  • Possibly stealing this from next week’s Crimebeat!, but Alabama players – and projected draft picks – Cam Robinson & Laurence “Hootie” Jones were arrested on weapons & drug charges Monday night. Expect the usual sanctions: Alabama to rip their scholarships, the NCAA to fine Nick Saban $1 as punishment, and boosters to raise $4.8 million in support – to add another storey to his house.

RANT! First, a little history:

https://youtu.be/ajzRS4GATE8

For those of you unaware that the words “Canadian” and “patriotism” can go together in a sentence, this commercial – which seems to be on repeat everywhere I turn today – is part of a heritage project to remind fellow Canuckistanians that we have made other contributions to the world beyond hockey, penicillin and time zones. One of these just happens to be the result of a McGill professor working in Springfield, Mass. That it’s on repeat is because, for the first time, a Canadian team is in the NBA Conference Finals.

As I said yesterday, this matters little to me. But it is also clear that I am in the minority when it comes to national basketball bandwagonning. With no Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs, various (sports) media need someplace positive to turn their attention, and since all major Canadian media comes out of the Big Smoke, it’s gotta be the Raptors. It’s being played up as this:

and this:

When it’s actually more this:

and this:

It’s a Toronto team all of the time; it’s a Canadian team when we are told to care. FUCK THAT NOISE! I remember the ambivalence & hate the Canucks got from the rest of the country in 2011, so colour me unimpressed and apathetic. God forbid the Leafs ever play a meaningful game in May; the media slobbering would be unbearable. It’s going to be bad enough when they sign Stamkos and the projections begin. So, while I’m not rooting for Bron-Bron, I’m also not drinking any Kool-Aid.

No matter how attractive the supplier.

But my simmering hate forced me to find some goodness somewhere, and that brought back memories of the original “Basketball Jones”.

Fun facts:

  1. George Harrison, Carole King & Billy Preston played on the song, and the cheerleaders were Darlene Love, Fanita James, Jean King, Michelle Phillips, & Ronnie Spector. Counting the first-class session musicians who accompanied them (take a look), that is a lot of good music.
  2. It was animated by Paul Gruwell, who also was a contributor for productions like: late-60s Scooby-Doo, the late-70s Godzilla cartoon; mid-80s GI Joe & Transformers; and the bounciest segment from “Heavy Metal”.

[I wanted to use a screencap from the cartoon for the banner image, but quickly realized I’d have to apologize faster than Steven Adams. No matter the context or intent, it’s never a good look. I’m comfortable with my search history being reviled for porn, not Stormfront. Protect the brand!]


Tonight’s playoff action:

NHL: Sharks @ Blues – 8:00 (Game 2)

NBA: Toronto @ Cleveland – 8:30 (Game 1)


Did you know there are primaries tonight? The Republicans have a meaningless contest in Oregon, but the Democrats have stakes in both Oregon & Kentucky. Both states are too close to call. WHY IS BERNIE TRYING TO MAKE TRUMP PRESIDENT?!?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Eagles of Death Metal – Speaking in Tongues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnrS4lFnGQk

Unsurprised

Phil Collins – In The Air Tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

GnR – Welcome To The Jungle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have no faith in people trusting my taste like WCS does. I am listening to random shit at 4 am

Heart – Barracuda

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4nWy8pmIM4

WCS

This song is so much fun to play.

WCS

Well aware I’m still the only one still around, and I’ll shut off the lights in the DFO gameroom. Song still makes me nostalgic, and simultaneously horrendously optimistic for the future. Kid’s gonna know what good music is.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have been around all night both of the last two nights, I just managed to make the penultimate comment the first time I actually said something. Also, don’t hate your music choice

Wakezilla

I haven’t been on here in a week, so:

A) Bautista getting punched was funny shit. Howevah, Texas are Texas sized pussies for plunking Joey Bats at his last at bat for the regular season. If you’re going to beam him because of unwritten rules, then you should uphold unwritten rules by hitting him before his last at bat of the regular season.

IV) Sharks in 6 and Pens in 7

Q) I’m just getting caught up on season 3 of Brooklyn 99 and I think I might be on Team Santiago now.

http://fhm.fishtank.my/getmedia/8e8b4e43-c78d-4b6f-af2a-800b5cfbdb8e/Fumero.gif.aspx

She’s got a fantastic ass. It’s too bad she doesn’t show it off.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Hello gif I love that I have posted way too many times. Nice to see you again.

Unsurprised

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