Your “Imagine Every US Network Saying to Root For the Celtics” Tuesday Open Thread

Before my rant, some brief NFL-related news:

  • Fun times in the WIP listening area:
    • Darren Sproles is not attending OTAs because the Eagles dared to field trade calls after the draft. While it’s not a case of full-blown TO that Sam Bradford has, it just adds more fuel to the 6-10 fire
    • On the trade talk, Bradford has now gone 100% “blame the agent“. Oh, and with no offers available, he now wants to stay.
    • Seahawk Michael Bennett took a run at Bradford in the media, saying Bradford “sets a bad tone of what a player should be”. These birds play each other in Week 11 in Seattle; now I want to go.
  • BOLTMAN CONTROLS YOUR MOM’S CYCLE!

    While on the topic of dumping on other teams, Brandon Mebane says the Chargers have more defensive talent that his former Seahawks. It’s one thing to talk up your new team, but it’s not like he just left the Browns. Also, what he fails to mention is that Seattle has a QB with a higher completion rate, whereas San Diego has a QB with a higher conception rate. IT’S ALL GOOD HUSTLE!!!

  • The Panthers have released Brandon Boykin. This concludes your monthly Boykin update.
  • This week’s “Acela Excreta” has PK musing about Dwight Freeney to the Patriots, and how a two-parent household makes for the best draft-eligible quarterbacks. Oh, and he also pimps his commencement address at Plymouth State. If you want to go mad, go nuts; be sure to stick around for the “Free Brady!” chants.
  • Possibly stealing this from next week’s Crimebeat!, but Alabama players – and projected draft picks – Cam Robinson & Laurence “Hootie” Jones were arrested on weapons & drug charges Monday night. Expect the usual sanctions: Alabama to rip their scholarships, the NCAA to fine Nick Saban $1 as punishment, and boosters to raise $4.8 million in support – to add another storey to his house.

RANT! First, a little history:

https://youtu.be/ajzRS4GATE8

For those of you unaware that the words “Canadian” and “patriotism” can go together in a sentence, this commercial – which seems to be on repeat everywhere I turn today – is part of a heritage project to remind fellow Canuckistanians that we have made other contributions to the world beyond hockey, penicillin and time zones. One of these just happens to be the result of a McGill professor working in Springfield, Mass. That it’s on repeat is because, for the first time, a Canadian team is in the NBA Conference Finals.

As I said yesterday, this matters little to me. But it is also clear that I am in the minority when it comes to national basketball bandwagonning. With no Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs, various (sports) media need someplace positive to turn their attention, and since all major Canadian media comes out of the Big Smoke, it’s gotta be the Raptors. It’s being played up as this:

and this:

When it’s actually more this:

and this:

It’s a Toronto team all of the time; it’s a Canadian team when we are told to care. FUCK THAT NOISE! I remember the ambivalence & hate the Canucks got from the rest of the country in 2011, so colour me unimpressed and apathetic. God forbid the Leafs ever play a meaningful game in May; the media slobbering would be unbearable. It’s going to be bad enough when they sign Stamkos and the projections begin. So, while I’m not rooting for Bron-Bron, I’m also not drinking any Kool-Aid.

No matter how attractive the supplier.

But my simmering hate forced me to find some goodness somewhere, and that brought back memories of the original “Basketball Jones”.

Fun facts:

  1. George Harrison, Carole King & Billy Preston played on the song, and the cheerleaders were Darlene Love, Fanita James, Jean King, Michelle Phillips, & Ronnie Spector. Counting the first-class session musicians who accompanied them (take a look), that is a lot of good music.
  2. It was animated by Paul Gruwell, who also was a contributor for productions like: late-60s Scooby-Doo, the late-70s Godzilla cartoon; mid-80s GI Joe & Transformers; and the bounciest segment from “Heavy Metal”.

[I wanted to use a screencap from the cartoon for the banner image, but quickly realized I’d have to apologize faster than Steven Adams. No matter the context or intent, it’s never a good look. I’m comfortable with my search history being reviled for porn, not Stormfront. Protect the brand!]


Tonight’s playoff action:

NHL: Sharks @ Blues – 8:00 (Game 2)

NBA: Toronto @ Cleveland – 8:30 (Game 1)


Did you know there are primaries tonight? The Republicans have a meaningless contest in Oregon, but the Democrats have stakes in both Oregon & Kentucky. Both states are too close to call. WHY IS BERNIE TRYING TO MAKE TRUMP PRESIDENT?!?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

WCS

Same difference, really.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do I get some kind of prize for spotting the “Vivid” logo in the corner?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s winning the match?

Covalent Blonde

Oo, shit. Please do not let this be a PP tit for tat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A PowerPoint presentation?

WCS

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s so cute you’re still nervous. The Sharks have this.

Covalent Blonde

5 on 3 never feels good. You have no faith in how hard the Sharks like to Shark

ballsofsteelandfury

They just killed it and are about to kill the 5 on 4.

Covalent Blonde

I’m STARTING to feel comfortable.

ALXMAC

Sondre Lerche – Ricochet

https://youtu.be/Drqu_iw4ubk

JustStopDude

So which big man with shit knees are the 76ers gonna blow the #1 draft pick on?

WCS

Whomever they pick will stricken with a case of HuntaAIDS three days afterward, regardless.

#TrustTheProcess

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s a Schrödinger’s Pick kind of situation.

Covalent Blonde

Dems my Left Sharks!

JustStopDude

https://youtu.be/wcV1UpZAWAc

An insidiously catchy song from an amazing film. Seriously…”Drive” is a fantastic movie.

litre_cola

Drive by REM is nightmare fuel.

Duchess

It is official ladies and gents. Duchess is now licensed to help you with all your real estate needs in the state of Virginia… DC and Maryland will soon follow.

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOOOOOOO! CONGRATS!

Duchess

litre_cola

Good work! Now get ready to be desecrated on bus benches, maybe even slept on !

In all seriousness congrats, good hustle.

Duchess

oh man i can only hope one day I could afford a Park bench…

litre_cola

If you owned a park bench you could get Jim Tomsulas autograph tho!

Covalent Blonde

Cheers!

bourb0nblues

Real Estate v Atletico Estate.. WHO YA GOT?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I, for one, welcome the return of our subprime overlords.

JustStopDude

Bernie fans are not taking the Kentucky results well….

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

tl;dr: soooo…Hillary is a runt?
(oh wait, soory….didn’t have reading glasses on)

King Hippo

It’s 2016, the year everybody decided to go off their meds and keep their bare dicks on the dinner table AT ALL TIMES.

theeWeeBabySeamus

While I’m not a fan of the “no meds” thing, bare dick on the dinner table doesn’t sound so terrible.
/wait…what are we talking about again?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sorry, if Bernie’s ideas are so good, don’t you WANT her to steal them?

WCS

Donald Drumpf is going to be elected because he listened to Dark Helmet’s advice.

King Hippo

I’d still give 10:1 odds against it. Only not 20:1 because I could see the Greens putting Sanders on their ballot line and him believing his own bullshit enough to take it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So, regression into bachelorhood is going pretty great. Tonight’s dinner was macaroni and cheese.

bourb0nblues

Pop-Tarts for dessert?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope you at least cut up little hot dogs into it.

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That movie made me smile so much.

King Hippo

one of the 10 best movie lines EVAR. No, I am not kidding.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Your list is………………… interesting.

King Hippo

It’s already crowded with lines from Natural Born Killers, too. Was an instant of my purity worth a lifetime of your lies, Moose??

/ppl forget that

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You never had purity; it simply passed you by.

King Hippo

I woulda fucked it up anyway.

/lowers head in shame

Unsurprised

So I’m finally appreciating the fact that I got away with not having to work for a while or through school (plus I got so self conscious about my shitty first year grades that I didn’t apply for any anyway) and so now that I’ve lost half my income I’m at least $1,000 a month in the hole until j find a job. It’s not even the idea of having to work retail or something. I know law grads who were movers like Ape is. It’s the anger and resting state of self-loathing at letting things get to this point and not having a professional aupport network to rely on.

Anyway. I just wanted to vent since I’m not on social media because all I ever did was fight with people on it.

King Hippo

venting good. better than shooting up one’s local 7-11

WCS

Or shooting up behind one’s 7-11.

And that’s not meant to be an Aaron Rodgers joke. Although it could be.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s funny.
(but let’s not rule anything out just yet)

JustStopDude

Vent away.

I basically had to work overseas, in terrible conditions, to knock out my student loan debt. I get shit from my immediate family for living out of state and traveling so much for work…yet they never seem to not cash the checks I send home.

Its fucking dehumanizing dealing with a job search. Once, just for shits and giggles…and honestly…to try and build up some self confidence, I applied for the shittiest job I could find.

On USAjobs.gov…it was for a mechanical technician in Kabul.

Didn’t even get a fucking call back…as a mechanical engineer with a secret security clearance. We need to fucking get base income passed already because what we are doing now is fucking grossly inefficient.

Gratliff

I did 3 years of community college, and got my Associate’s in CIS in 2005, and then I did another year of college in 2006 for network computing before life decided my plans meant shit. Here is the super cluster fuck that is my professional career:

Jun 2003- Aug 2006, $10/hr – Computer Lab tech at aforementioned college(Play video games/administer certification exams), ended due to relocation to the fucking UP of Michigan.
Nov 2006 – Apr 2007, 7.25/hr – cashier at Kmart
Apr 2007 – Feb 2008, 8.50/hr – night cashier at a grocery store. Son born that summer.
Jun 2008 – Mar 2010, $10/hr – frozen dept manager at aforementioned store, ended when I called the boss an asshole to his face and threw my name tag at his feet. The argument was over an email regarding the price of eggs.
Mar 2010 – Apr 2012, $7.50/hr – receiving at Kmart, ended due to relocation to northern lower peninsula of Michigan.
May 2012 – Nov 2013, $9/hr – Stacking long lumber (4.5 – 11 ft, 4/4 – 11/4 thickness). I got strong as fuck. Good “Not dealing with the divorce” work.
Nov 2013 – Jan 2015, $10.50/hr – Automated optimizing crosscut saw operator.
Mar 2014 – Apr 2014, earned NHLA lumber grading certification
Jan 2015-July 2015, $11.25/hr – Kiln operator/Boiler technician/Backup lumber grade, ended when I moved back to fucking civilization.
July 2015 – Present, $17/hr – Desktop support technician for a green energy company, specializing in scripting automation into IT processes with PowerShell using the skills I learned 10 fucking years ago, possibly on the verge of jumping into a $50k+ salaried position on the strength of my work. I’m NEVER working outside of IT again.

I spent a decade struggling to make anything happen in my life, through a marriage and subsequent divorce, a child, struggles with severe depressions, and like 75% of mine and my ex-wife’s close relatives dying. A few years ago, I believed my tech career was fucking over, and learned how to grade hardwood lumber because I was never going to make minimum wage in a department store again and have my child suffer along with me. On a shot in the dark, I jammed my fucking foot back in the door with an appreciation for my work that few really grasp due to the shit I dug my way out of to get back into it. Shit tends to be cyclical. Just need to recognize it when your chance comes around again.

Gratliff

That was meant to be a response to the original post. Naturally, I missed.

Unsurprised

No. You nailed it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ironic that Loki thinks people should hug more?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
http://37.media.tumblr.com/fba72fdeadecafab50e6095060064223/tumblr_n5dnjoXFE71t86zbxo4_r1_250.gif

JustStopDude

I loved the casting they did with Loki in the film. Marvel knows what they are doing. Pretty much what DC should have done with Lex Luthor…

Unsurprised

How do you not cast Bryan Cranston as Lex Luthor in 2015?

JustStopDude

My absolutely batshit insane casting choice…and it would be expensive as fuck…but I think it would be brilliant…

Denzel Washington.

He can do intelligence. I mean pure brilliance, but with unhinged, the “ends justify the means” brutal logic.

Though honestly…
http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/batman-superman-lex-luthor-jesse-eisenberg1.jpg
This is not hard to beat…

Unsurprised

That would’ve been so awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Struggle hug.

Unsurprised

He is a trickster god, so my guess is it just makes sleight of hand easier.

King Hippo

I think if the Ice Tomsulas win it all, they should let Phil Martelli skate around the ice with teh Cup. It’s only right.

WCS

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The Maestro

Evening, folks. I just had the biggest job interview of my life today. I think it went well. Can’t wait to hear the results in 4-6 weeks.

It’s time to beer.

The Maestro

As an addendum: I haven’t beered in like 4 days as I put together all the documentation for this thing. When you couple that with maybe 6 hrs of sleep over 2 nights, this is up there among the best-tasting beers I’ve had in a looooooooong time.

King Hippo

HillyBob gonna win Kentucky. The chair throwing hooliganism over the weekend in NV and the Kim Davis fanboy “fuck you” factors weren’t enough to sway things.

Unsurprised

I’m such a fuck up.

Senor Weaselo

That is not true.

JustStopDude

My employer keeps dropping hints they want me to take a long time (1+ year) assignment in Japan.

I just got off the phone with our motor factory because they stopped work on a motor that needs to be on the fucking pier in 11 days, to be shipped to England. They stopped working on it because they were missing an aluminum tube and a brass nipple for a differential pressure switch. They knew this a month ago.

They told me about it 20 minutes ago. For a month…the motor has been sitting there…not getting finished…

Two $860k motors (a piece)…this is over…I shit you not…$22 worth of parts.

WCS

comment image
You said, “nipple.”

JustStopDude

I seriously thought the factory foreman was fucking with me at first (I’ve met him in person and worked at the factory for about a month).

Unsurprised

The good part is that it’s not your engine, not your problem.

On the other hand, enjoy building an engine at sea.

JustStopDude

We get slammed very hard for time delays. Its measured not in days but in tens of thousands of dollars.

This end user represents like 40% of our motor business in the US. Needless to say, I am in a world of shit if we cannot get this motor delivered on time…

Unsurprised

Yeah, but I mean us not like it’s your money being deducted. Unless you’re an equity partner, in which case I finally understand why you put up with this shit.

Or maybe I’m just seeing it from the perspective of someone who is totally fucking clueless.

JustStopDude

No you are seeing this as a rational person.

One of my many issues is obsessive compulsive disorder. I cannot bring myself to let shit go…hence why I end up in nut houses on a bi-annual basis it seems like.

Speaking of which…I’m due for a breakdown in a month…

ballsofsteelandfury

You should definitely go live in Japan. The stories would be epic.

herodotus450

The Blues are falling apart worse than that song I wrote in 13/56 time.

Senor Weaselo

What the hell’s a 56th note?

herodotus450

Well, 7 8th notes, of course.

WCS

I feel like this warrants another Tool song…

theeWeeBabySeamus

So technically speaking….was that an ass save?

WCS

Aaron Rodgers doesn’t not know what that means…

Gratliff

Not sure how I missed this yesterday. Fuck CNN. They are the yin to FOX News’ yang, if yang is hot fucking garbage, and yin is a failed attempt to be the same.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/mediaite-exclusive-cnn-cancelled-larry-wilmore-appearance-in-retaliation-for-white-correspondent-dinner-jokes/

WCS

http://i27.tinypic.com/wmjxx2.gif
“Oh, I’m sorry, did someone get offended for being honest?”

herodotus450

Idea No. 153 to increase scoring in hockey: every shot on goal counts as one point; if it goes in it counts as 8.

WCS

So… Aussie Rules Hockey League?

herodotus450

Make the ice very thin with water underneath. And in the water: crocodiles. They’re Australian, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Personally, I’d vote for sharp pointy ends on the butt end of the stick coupled with legalizing spearing. But then again, I’m a fan of carnage.

King Hippo

related point of order: This ice footbaw series is hella boring

related related point of order: ice footbaw is a very poor substitute for real footbaw, as a general rule

/still better than professional basketballing and/or talking to one’s family

WCS

I vehemently disagree with your first point as much as concur with your latter.

WCS

ALXMAC

Sondre Lerche – LEGENDS

https://youtu.be/TBSy4L4Zm2A

ALXMAC

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey now, that’s a great gif to greet me at the top upon sign in.
I was just saying how badly I need to bury my face in some food and motor boat it.

King Hippo

Tis very oddly hypnotic

blaxabbath

I love swept over bangs. That chick in 10 Cloverfield Lane rocks them perfectly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Watching a British feed of the basketball game is so weird. All their advertisements sound so classy – even the ones for shady gambling houses.

litre_cola

Used to watch my footy club Fulham FC smgdh on the interwebs from Nigeria. You want a culture clash of watching commercials, then went to the Guinness brewery and Nigeria are the #1 consuming country for Guinness.

King Hippo

oh Christ. POOR FULHAM

WCS

ALXMAC

Merle Haggard – Branded Man (Live, 1968)

https://youtu.be/W-ER-yo1V3s

ALXMAC

Merle Haggard – Mama Tried (Live)

https://youtu.be/loT_pYzi3Vw

Kungjitsu

Gangsta country

scotchnaut

She also sang tenor…(very poorly, apparently)

https://youtu.be/ZgmJATjaGf0

American Pie Story

evening folks

WCS

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American Pie Story

ok Hunter

WCS

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ALXMAC

Hahahaha. NBA draft lottery. Is there a consensus number 1 pick? Thank you for making me search my keyboard for the # symbol. Edmonton would like a word with you.

King Hippo

it would be moar of a surprise if they took a guy from Finland, eh?

blaxabbath

So I get off work, come home, take five, and get up to grab a glass of water. Nothing comes out of the faucet. I start thinking, “huh, I wonder when was the last time I paid the water bill” (all my other bills are on auto-pay). It’s 5:05p and I login to find that my service has been shut off for delinquency.

The fiancee is gonna be pretty damn upset about this one when she gets off work…

WCS

Don’t say anything until she tries to take a shower.

SURPRISE!

herodotus450

At least it will still be a few hours before the golden shower doesn’t work.

King Hippo

so continues DFO’s very special R Kelly week!

scotchnaut

“…service has been shut off for delinquency.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have banged that 14 year-old pipe with your big hammer!

blaxabbath

This is totally going to go down as one of these things that I’ll never get to live down.

See if she makes me spring for a hotel tonight. I’m guessing, yes.

Kungjitsu

Hotel = Hotel Sex

King Hippo

lemme guess…her mother always tried to warn her, eh?

ALXMAC

It’s not yer fault. The water will be back on soon.

blaxabbath

Yeah! It’s not my fault!

It’s totally my fault. I hope they don’t like, take 72 hours to turn it back on after receiving payment.

SonOfSpam

I think they just “boot” the thing at the street, so if you have some nice bolt cutters…

blaxabbath

In my single days, I would go do something like cut off their ‘boot’ and then battle it out with the city on the grounds that their stupid auto-pay charges a fee each month and if they’d just get with the times, they could get their money as soon as they billed every single month.

But not now, man.

herodotus450

The Blues don’t just dislike number 39 for the Sharks, they haute Couture.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

But they do like Skrillex?

WCS

comment image?b64lines=

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

I have a pug, and I can truly say it is hilarious when he does this and his tail hammers the wall 20 times in a row. I have thought someone was at the door more than once.

Sill Bimmons

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litre_cola

Evening Sill.

Bah I am allergic to penicillin so what has he done for MEEEEE

ALXMAC

Alexander Graham Bell was a fraud.

Redshirt

Too soon for football, my baseball team is down two touchdowns, politics makes me pissed, and I turned on my fireplay in mid-May because its supposed to down to the mid-30s tonight.

I don’t know what I did to piss God off, but it must’ve been something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC

Portishead – The Rip

https://youtu.be/kBOaLjtR4mw

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

[wife has attended a board meeting followed by helping out at the wake of a man who was a friend of a friend]

Me: “Sooooo…what are you making for supper?”

Her: [begins to choke on her inchoate rage]

Me: “KIDDING, KIDDING! I made something!” [runs downstairs]

/this was the made-for-LifeTime version…there was swearing involved

SonOfSpam

Glad to see you’re still alive…that’s a very dangerous game.

WCS

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scotchnaut

Booby Flay did whatever he needed to do to get to the top.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yea for Flay puns!!

scotchnaut

Kudos for flay rhymes!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meanwhile, I’m debating whether I’m going to have a panini for dinner the third night in a row.

ALXMAC

You make that yerself?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

Just watched the Vice documentary on Jugalettes. Very interesting.

Now on to watch the fixed NBA lotteria.

ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

comment image

JustStopDude

Screw it…I give up and I am going home…

SonOfSpam

You mean you’re just gonna…TAKE OFF?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot70G4wSQi0

WCS

I say we get off…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

And the answer to the tattoo question…

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SonOfSpam

Wow – never would’ve guessed!!!

(Using my imagination, gonna assume the unseen pic is of an upside down Trump face below the belt line so her unruly bush is his hair.)

JustStopDude

Some jackass tattooed up a 12 year old…

SonOfSpam

Isn’t that some kind of child abuse? It should be child abuse.

scotchnaut

#justpostseeableimagesdude

JustStopDude

I’ve got no fucking clue how and why imgur craps in and out at random…

ALXMAC

2nd shortest NBA player EVAR:

https://youtu.be/84tgAe1mBW4

scotchnaut

If we’re doing guys that don’t get near enough credit I submit 80’s Bucks guard (although he defended 1’s thru to 4’s) Sidney Moncrief.

https://youtu.be/R4pK5HthN10

/check out his tomahawk dunk on the cover of SI way back in the ’79

ALXMAC

I knew him as a Hawk (which tells my age); I think you posted the wrong video doe.

scotchnaut
ALXMAC

RZA – Love Jones

https://youtu.be/DgqxQqu8k10

JustStopDude

comment image

Game for the Commentariate…

Guess what is fucked up about this tattoo…I will post the answer in 15 minutes.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s the same one your mom’s best friend has over her vulva?

SonOfSpam

It’s invisible, right? I mean, who would pay for an invisible tattoo?

Spanky Datass

Can’t see the pic because imgur sucks.

scotchnaut

That they got one in the first place?

JustStopDude

You are surprisingly close to the answer…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

I couldn’t find a series of skits by SCTV that perfectly lampooned those gawdawful Canadian “Heritage Minutes” so I shall foist upon you DOCTOR TONGUE’S 3D HOUSE OF STEWARDESSES…WHA…WHOOOOOOOOOO…[cough, cough]

https://youtu.be/8SJY6w0HD50

ALXMAC

Maybe The Kids in the Hall did one?

https://youtu.be/ZNCUgFeIjyM

SonOfSpam

And we’re all rooting for the Lakers to stay in the top 3 of the lottery tonight, because basketball’s better when the Lakers are good, right?

(That’s really fucking annoying, but gaping asshole sports announcers have been saying it about New York teams every time they suck, which is pretty frequently now.)

scotchnaut

When are you ever going to learn that there are no significant sports franchises in any of the four major sports outside the major media centres unless they’re populated by predominantly white guys in owner/management positions that have achieved success over a media-determined period of time?

/this post sponsored by “smgdh”-KingHippo

SonOfSpam

Are you saying All Lives Matter?

scotchnaut

Maybe…if you want to exclude Peter King, Donald Trump and I’m wayyyyy too lazy to finish the list.

Kungjitsu

We’re hoping for the Lakers to get the #1 overall pick so that Bill Simmons swallows his own tongue.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, where were those bastards when Vancouver made it to the NBA Conference Finals?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hear Canada is a…

:puts on sunglasses:

BIG COUNTRY

/YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAH

ALXMAC

Big Country – In A Big Country

https://youtu.be/di-_n05tppo

scotchnaut

I will always confuse him with Greg Ostertag, who shook Glenn Robinson’s hand after he got dunked on…

https://youtu.be/R4pK5HthN10

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