Euro 2016 DFO Field Report: Part 3.5

The last two days without footy have been pretty shitty,  haven’t they?  HELL,  THE BRITISH ARE SO BORED THEY DECIDED TO LEAVE EUROPE!

I wonder how this will affect their qualification to the next Euro….

Well,  despair not for our man on the ground has been out there ON THE SCENE and has another sterling report for you.  Take it away,  Litre_cola.

[gview file=”https://www.doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Dispatch-3-UEFA-needs-your-money.pdf”]

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Unsurprised

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Spanky Datass

Rhea Perlman has really let her self go.

ALXMAC

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Sill Bimmons

Clarkson and May on the Brexit before it happened.

http://jalopnik.com/jeremy-clarkson-has-an-opinion-1782588732

JustStopDude

I’m gonna just go ahead and watch some old Cro Cop fights and commiserate…

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makeitsnowondem

Deadpool and Speedway Stout. I haven’t had this beer since the infamous Ted Stevens Memorial Road Trip to Nowhere, almost six years ago.

...

The SSID on my router is “A Series of Tubes” but only because “The Senator Ted Stevens Memorial Internet Access Point” was too long.

Sill Bimmons

0 — 1

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JustStopDude

Fucking A…

Croatia is doing all the work and the threatening…Portugal counter attacks and makes it look easy…

bourb0nblues

SHITTTTTTTT

JustStopDude

Hold up…we talking rugby, soccer, and/or cricket?

Sill Bimmons

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bourb0nblues

FFS Portugal is going to get through this, aren’t they?

JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

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JustStopDude

I want to know what the magical chemicals they have in those bags.

http://i.imgur.com/vB7GORS.gif?noredirect

The whole treatment on the pitch thing is fucking goofy as hell.

JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

fortunately, this is purely a theoretical exercise…

Unsurprised
Sill Bimmons

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JustStopDude

I remember that match. It was against Columbia and Abby took a blatant, intentional elbow to the head, requiring something like 8 staples on the sideline to stop the bleeding and get let back in.

Later in the match, she had the game winning goal off a header.

Sill Bimmons

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bourb0nblues

NO RONALDO NO RONALDO NO RONALDO

JustStopDude

I’m in the midst of consuming about 20000 calories of fried chicken, gravy, hot sauce, syrup, a waffle….and beer.

Oh did I neglect to mention my chicken and waffle place is also a bar…they have a mimosa where they give you a tall glass of beer and a tallboy of cheap beer.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ImZ-A6rMVRw/T6HkKZ-XfQI/AAAAAAAAAWc/bTqvwHD-iPk/s320/IMAG0710.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JKzd6BxMFvM/Tdx-GfOZ2EI/AAAAAAAAAFM/vcaBbsQyDJk/s1600/ChickenWaffles.jpg

http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/41/26/1335366083_190.JPG?itok=gNsXiYH_

I’ll be here all day folks as the service, like every true southern restaurant, is slower than ass…but that’s the whole point…

JustStopDude

derp…that is suppose to read “tall glass of Orange Juice and a tallboy of beer”

The food coma is hitting me already.

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ. I’m dying of jealousy. And hunger.

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

I regret that I have but one like to give to this comment.

Unsurprised

Flipper was a self-righteous cunt

...

This is what being totally owned online looks like.

theeWeeBabySeamus

http://66.media.tumblr.com/281b7f8cf5a5b692b21dd759e975df7d/tumblr_n6lta3wlUs1trdmybo1_500.gif
This will likely be me for the next several hours, as I am now headed to a birthday party for my mother (75 today). Within a few hours, I fully expect my homicidal rage to have reached its pinnacle.

Mostly because I’ll be stone cold sober for it. In truth, I would briefly (and gladly) interrupt my 30 days sans alcohol for this event were I not already the designated driver for my aforementioned badass 75 year old mother. But alas…..

ALXMAC

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Unsurprised

Way to dominate!

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fan art………

theeWeeBabySeamus

Perky breasts and possibly no underwear.
This is a Velma I can get behind….so to speak.

Unsurprised

There’s no doubt she’s not wearing underwear. Fans, man. Fans.

Sill Bimmons

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Good dog.

blaxabbath

I thought they got rid of the heading it back to the goalie rule?

theeWeeBabySeamus

We have one very similar to that. I really love sitting and watching.
Squirrels iz very stoopid, and will repeatedly try to outsmart it.

JustStopDude

Oops, feel asleep on the couch. Did not go to that weird meet-up.

Fuck it….I’m getting chicken and waffles.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well I, I, I do declare son….you should choose the bakun. Nawt the Chikkun.
(that’s my terrible Foghorn Leghorn accent…in typed format)

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

That would be the “Walked In On Parents” Gloobee Doll.

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

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Horatio Cornblower

I was watching him on Netflix the other day, (shut up, the kids put it on), and honest to God, his voice lulled our 6 month old puppy to sleep.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The breakfast of ex-champions.
I’ll take the sausage, the beans and the beer, plz.

Sill Bimmons

Stroopwafel foar me PLEEZ

theeWeeBabySeamus

Weaslehead Fucknugget, ftw.

Sill Bimmons

I’m partial to “Mangled Apricot Hellbeast” over here.

Three words I never thought I’d see in the same sentence.

Horatio Cornblower

Any insult that ends in “shitgibbon” is getting my vote.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Cockwomble” has an understated elegance to it.

blaxabbath

Guy with Croatia print in his hair is one of the 11 people on Earth who have earned the right to rock that look today.

Props to him.