/Inside DFO Headquarters Monday Morning

Me: Guys, I’m at a loss here. The Bears and Eagles played  just last night and now they’re playing again tonight! How do I spin this? How comes no one is talking about this?

Hippo: [shakes his goddamn head] What are you talking about?

Me: The game. Tonight. It’s the exact same tilt as last night.

OSZ: You screwed up.

Me:[rolls eyes] Thanks for the input, Oldie-but I’ve been doing this for over a year now. I think I’ve got a handle on it. Seriously, any ideas? The NFL has sunk to a new low.

Horatio: Scotch, the Bears and Eagles didn’t play last night. Are you okay?

Me: What is with you guys? Just check last night’s preview post. It’s right there! They played!

Low Commander: Did you watch the game?

Me: Of course not! I’m wayyyyy too hammered by that time. Just like all you guys. Am I right? [raises hand looking for a high five] Nobody? What is wrong with you guys?

Everybody– YOU FUCKED UP!

Me: Ohhhh, I get it-this is some sort of, “Let’s pick on the Canadian guy” thing. They never give us a break, right Beer Guy?

BeerGuyRob: [looks the other way, whistles]

Me: Fine. Whatever. Not funny, guys. Not. Funny. I bet Magary never had to put up with this sort of lack of respect. I’m out of here. I’ll be back when I’m not taken for granted! [slams door of conference room/broom closet]

DTZM: Guh. Let’s take a vote-everyone that wants Scotchnaut barred, raise your hand.

Dok Zymm: Can I vote with both hands? It’s twice as many as one!

FIN

Enjoy the game [spits on ground] “Friends”.