‘Sup Gen Pop? Josh here from the Free Ballin’ Football Podcast. After taking a week off to load up on turkey and beer, we’re back and fired up with takes hotter than Skip Bayless’ leftovers. We’ve got a good show lined up for you this week. We’ll close out week 12, look ahead to week 13, talk fantasy and gambling, and crack some bad jokes. We’re also going to discuss the rumors floating around about the future (or lack thereof) of Thursday Night Football.
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But fair warning: this episode features one member throwing out a particularly picante take regarding Colin Kaepernick. I won’t tell you who, but I’ll give you a hint: it’s the same guy who has spent the season digging a grave and writing a eulogy for Aaron Rodgers’ career so you know the argument will be rational and well thought out. I, for one, don’t think that Kaep is a good football player. I’ll admit that part of this is personal. Prior to Super Bowl 47, the #LamestreamSportsMedia had already fitted Kaep for a gold jacket. Pundits and other assorted media goons were lining up this guy’s coronation as the next #Elite quarterback. It was two weeks of nonstop fellating. To be fair, he did go on the road back to back weeks and outplay Peyton Manning and Tom Brady to reach the Super Bowl so maybe it was warranted. Oh wait, nevermind. That was the other guy, my bad. As a Ravens fan, the only things I remember hearing about the two weeks leading up to the game were Colin Kaepernick and deer antler spray. This was peak of Kaep’s career-the bicep kissing, Beats by Dre wearing zenith. A Niners fan friend spent the entire fortnight telling me that no Ravens player would start for the Niners.
We all know what happened next. The Ravens took a big lead into the second half, due largely to the quarterback that hadn’t had praise heaped on him the past month. Roger Goodell shut off the lights in an attempt to shift momentum and preserve the future vertically integrated, synergized marketing opportunities that Kaep brought to the table. The Niners comeback fell short at the finish line thanks to Jimmy Smith (who definitely didn’t hold on 4th down) and the Ravens captured their second Super Bowl title. The same friend made a bet that Kaep would retire with more titles than Joe Flacco, despite the 1-0 deficit. But Kaep’s career took a turn for the worse. The same pundits who had made a cottage industry out of designing his Canton fled the bandwagon in droves. Jim Harbaugh was pushed out. Jim Tomsula came and went, and Chip Kelly made a conscious decision to start Blaine Gabbert for damn near half the season. Kaep reinvented himself as an activist, with some good takes (speaking out against police brutality) and some bad takes (pretty much everything else). With the season in the toilet, Chip Kelly decided to turn the offense, such as it is, back over to Kaep.
Results have been underwhelming, in my opinion. I think that while Kaep’s still a good athlete, his game hasn’t significantly progressed beyond the one read and tuck style that the rest of the NFL caught up to in 2013. I think he’s putting up decent numbers right now because A) he’s been out of the picture for a while and it takes teams a few weeks to readjust their game plans and B) garbage time. For all intents and purposes, Kaep is a poor man’s Eagles-era Mike Vick. All of this makes for good fantasy numbers and attracts clueless amateur podcasters looking to stake their reputation on a blazing original take, but the fact is, the Kaep-led Niners haven’t won a game and haven’t scored more than 24 points in a game. His TD/INT ratio is pretty good, but his completion percentage is low, which isn’t something you want when you’re running Chip Kelly’s system with a horrible defense.
You, intrepid podcast listener, will hear someone try and tell you that Kaep is currently a top 15 NFL quarterback. I reject this assertion based on the following list of guys I’d rather have under center right now. This list is in no particular order:
Slam Dunk Better Than Kaep
1. Tom Brady
2. Ryan Tannehill
3. Tyrod Taylor
4. Ben Roethlisberger
5. Marcus Mariota
6. Andrew Luck
7. Alex Smith (LOL)
8. Philip Rivers
9. Trevor Siemian
10. Derek Carr
11. Eli Manning
12. Kirk Cousins
13. Dak Prescott
14. Carson Wentz
15. Drew Brees
16. Matt Ryan
17. Cam Newton
18. Jameis Winston
19. Aaron Rodgers
20. Matt Stafford
21. Russell Wilson
Debatably Better Than Kaep
22. Ryan Fitzpatrick
23. Joe Flacco
24. Andy Dalton
25. Tony Romo (Seriously)
26. Jay Cutler (Seriously)
27. Carson Palmer
Congratulations Kaep, you beat out Brock Osweiler, Case Keenum, and everyone who’s started for the Browns this year. Enjoy the show everyone. If you need me, I’ll be watching old Mighty Wings commercials on YouTube.
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