What’s going on, everybody? Hope you all are fully recovered from your NYE hangover because we got some real meaningful football this weekend. That’s right, it’s the WILD CARD ROUND!!!

Unfortunately for all of us, the AFC quarterback situation is… horrific. We talk about it at length on this week’s podcast, but I wanted to say a few words about it here… because it’s bad… real bad. Outside of Tawmmy Brady and the Human Bathroom Stall, there are 4 quarterbacks that make the AFC side of the bracket just unappealing to watch. Let’s take a look at these four walking black holes of talent while you get started on this week’s podcast:

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/301072501″ params=”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false” width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

Alex Smith: By FAR the most competent quarterback of the four. He’s taken a ton of shit over the course of his career but he’s rounded out into a perfectly fine quarterback, albeit not an exciting one. This is what happens when you’re the beneficiary of “good” Andy Reid. The man may not know how to utilize timeouts and challenges, but god damn can he squeeze the most out of his quarterback. This season was a bit up and down for him, with his lowest touchdown percentage since 2007, least amount of touchdowns since going to KC and a mediocre but serviceable 91.2 QB rating. He’s playing some good ball right now and buoyed by a stout defense and a great (but somewhat cooled off) running back in Spencer Ware, Alex Smith has a good chance to make some real noise with a deep playoff run. You should be rooting for Alex Smith because the alternative is an unabated path to the Super Bowl for the Patriots.

Matt Moore: This guy is milquetoast as fuck. He’s played servicably in relief of Ryan Tannehill, going 2-1 and helping the Dolphins make the playoffs. He has a good passer rating over those 3 games… but let’s look into it a little bit. What’s that? His two wins came off the Bills and Jets before getting shellacked by the Patriots? HAHAHAHAHAHA yea let’s temper expectations here. I fully expect for him to shit down his leg against the Steelers. What could have been an interesting matchup with Tannehill in at QB has become one that will end with the Steelers covering the 10 point spread easily. This’ll be a Sunday snoozefest for you to really get your day drinking started early.

Brock Osweiler: Never have I seen a quarterback more inept that fell ass backwards into a playoff game that he’ll actually start. Let’s be clear: Brock Osweiler has NO BUSINESS playing in this game. What should have been a great underdog story for Tom Savage to cement his place over the ridiculously overpaid Osweiler going into next season has devolved into a game that will feature the worst quarterback play by a pair of teams in playoff history. Brock Osweiler seems like a guy everyone on the Texans hates with a passion. Did you see how the entire team rallied around Savage and it was clear that they actually liked him and wanted to be around him? Yea, that’s over. Osweiler is an entitled prick whose only saving grace is that him being in the playoffs means John Elway is on a red faced binger trying to grind down his teeth so they finally look normal. This man would be at the bottom of this list (even though he’s still at the bottom of our hearts) if not for…

Connor Cook: Who?? Huh?? This makes me so sad. This Raiders team was all set to have most of the nation pulling for them for once. Derek Carr has the makings of a superstar and is really just fun to watch. However, he made the mistake of hanging out with Johnny Manziel (Side Note: Manziel very seriously needs help at this point) and then snapped his leg. Coincidence? I think not. I don’t have much to say about Connor Cook because there isn’t a whole lot to say. The most I’ve gotten was from nick on this week’s podcast because Cook went to his sister’s school and said he’s a douchebag. Cool… so we won’t be rooting for this team. God bless Jack Del Rio, though… I hope they win this game just because of him.

Do you guys have any insight into how these four jabronis will fair this weekend and next weekend? Let us know in the comments.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter. Enjoy the games, everybody!!!