Infinite Nets Game 82: The Regular Season Finale

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
Ian Scott McCormick

Do I reflect here or wait until it really is all over?

I could end it right now, but that would be a cop out. As I told my friends about the column, the constant question was “You’re really going to watch and write about 82 Nets games?”

“Plus the playoffs,” I cheerfully added. Back in October, this was quite the joke. Only, I’d watched them play the Pistons tough in the season opener at Jack Doyles all those months ago. I watched them win their second game, and I watched the flow of their games. I wasn’t really joking. The team looked good. The bottom of the East looked pretty bad. They really could have made the playoffs. I’d spent the entire season arguing that they could make the playoffs, and then inexplicably that they wouldn’t make the playoffs, but that they should have made the playoffs. But they are going to the playoffs and what kind of punk would I be to bail on them now. No, I’m riding this out. Hell, this is the part that’s supposed to be fun.

As for the final regular season game, it was tough to muster the energy. Everything felt like a victory lap, even though there were serious ramifications to the game. A win sent them to Philadelphia where the advanced metrics are good to the Nets. Or better than Toronto, where they would go with a loss coupled by a Magic win. I’ve seen them beat Toronto. I’ve seen them beat Philadelphia. In any single game the Nets could win. Over the course of a best of seven game series? Neither is that promising, but all told, I’d prefer they take on Philly. Still the name of the game is getting ready for the playoffs and keeping everybody off of the disabled list.

Fortunately their opponents were also playing with the intensity of a hungover substitute teacher. Their playoff aspirations were dead. Now was the time to celebrate the end of a career. In fact, the upcoming retirement threatened to overshadow the 82nd game of the year. NBA royalty was in the crowd with LeBron, Melo and CP3 all sitting court side to bid farewell to Heat legend Udonis Haslem.  Following Dwayne Wade’s magical 30 point farewell to his home crowd, the Heat dried their best to make sure the 2003 #5 overall pick got his points early. They weren’t really going down. And then with no regard for decency Jarrett Allen blocked the shit out of a bunny layup attempt (that had kind of already gotten blocked by the rim). Senseless. And he was only one day away from retirement.

The Nets pulled away early, stayed away, sat most of the players that got them there and played a bunch of guys who had logged some serious time in the G League. They flirted with letting the Heat back into the game, but ultimately snuffed it out with 113-94 win. Some fans got autographed jerseys. Dwayne Wade took over center court to say goodbye, and the Nets know that they won’t need their passports for the first round. They’ll be taking the bus down to Philadelphia with the intention of making the Sixers and their fans eat shit. And not the celebratory kind of shit. The shit of shame. It’s the battle of two teams that faced the rebuild, and as I consume playoff quantities of alcohol I may be tempted to point out that the Nets did not in fact, try to lose every game they could just to acquire talent. They sucked for years, sure, but they were at least trying.

But I digress. In a way it’s the end of the year, the story I wanted to tell having already been written into the books. But I will stick around for the epilogue of the postseason. All you readers who promised you’d watch the Nets if they made the playoffs need to put the fuck up, by the way. I don’t do the open thread writeups, but there had better be some goddamn Brooklyn content. As has been said by many before, this is a Nets house.

I realize that this hasn’t been a particularly funny column over the past few weeks. I’m not sure I know how to make jokes or view this team with any sort of ironic detachment. I guess that’s what happens when you come into a season with rock bottom expectations and discover that the joke team that you’re supposed to be torturing yourself with is actually pretty entertaining. I’ve had a good time, and I hope that it stays good for at least a few more games. It probably won’t, but I’m excited to find out.

The Brooklyn Nets (42-40) are the #6 seed in the Eastern Conference and will face the Philadelphia 76ers in the first round of the playoffs.

Ian Scott McCormick
Ian Scott McCormick
Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
https://ianscottmccormick.com/
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blaxabbathballsofsteelandfurySenor WeaselorockingdogHoratio Cornblower Recent comment authors
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Senor Weaselo

I have “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” stuck in my head, and you know damn well why. (For those who don’t the Lorde cover I think is the music for the Nets playoff commercials on the YES Network.)

rockingdog
rockingdog

Game Time Decision

as I consume playoff quantities of alcohol

trying to figure out if this is more or less drinking that happens during the regular season. I’m really not sure.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/checks final standings
//confirms that Bulls sucked and missed the playoffs

Sure, I’ll root for the Nets

King Hippo

Los Doyers have 3 homers, including the starting pitcher. No me gusta.

SonOfSpam

Yes, but as long as Fast White Guy Harrison Bader can score from 2nd on a wild pitch, you’re all good.

(Have both Bader AND Ozuna in my NL league, so I follow BFIB more than usual)

Sharkbait

I guess that’s what happens when you come into a season with rock bottom expectations and discover that the joke team that you’re supposed to be torturing yourself with is actually pretty entertaining.

You’re about 95% of the way to becoming a Rangers fan.

ballsofsteelandfury

I will DEFINITELY be watching the playoffs and rooting for the Nets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Me too.

King Hippo

I mean, only the Nets games, and maybe only the home opener unless they start winning, but YES!! This is indeed a #NetsHouse

SonOfSpam

Well, unless they make the finals and play the Lakers.

ballsofsteelandfury

🤣😂🤣😂

yeah right

Same here. I may DVR the games but I will watch the hell out of them.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t follow pro basketball, (too “ethnic”), but as a Yankees and Cowboys fan I believe that I am contractually obligated to root for the Lakers. Say, how’d my Lakers do this ye…Oh. Oh my.

(I never really did care about basketball, and still don’t, but sure, what the hell LETS GO NETS!!!)

blaxabbath

Rondae Hollis-Jefferson gave me a high five on the floor of the MGM Grand after they beat UCLA in the PAC-12 tournament.

You see kids, there was once a time where the PAC-12 was not the most embarrassing conference in all of college sports…