Some pig.

As you’ve likely discovered, I’d make a lousy vegetarian.  I wouldn’t do well in the Persian Gulf religion department either as I find the lowly hog to be a damned tasty cloven-hooved little critter.  Pork chops are great because they cook quickly, usually stay tender and aren’t overly pricey.  That’s what’s on tap for today so get those grills fired up!

The secret to keeping most types of meat from drying out while cooking is the rather complicated science of osmosis.  Well, complicated for me as I can’t count to 21 without dropping my pants.  We can put this miracle of nature to work for us with a process called brining.  It’s pretty basic, just soak the meat an a salt solution and some voodoo causes the salt to be carried into the cells of the muscle blah blah when is recess?  Regardless, it does seem to do the trick and is especially effective with pork as the safe cooking temperature is a bit higher than beef.  Medium rare pork is not considered a good move courtesy of that pesky parasite Trichinella.

Let’s get salty:

2 C  water

4 C  apple juice

1/2 C kosher salt

1/2 C packed brown sugar

1 or 2 tsp black pepper, red pepper flakes if you like it a bit zippier

Dump all this into a saucepan and bring to a low boil, stirring just until the salt and sugar dissolve.  Pour this over 3 cups of ice to cool everything back down.

This makes a lot, easily enough for up to 10 chops.  Speaking of which, what part of the pig works best for this?  My market sells Texas ribeye pork chops, probably not a real thing, but you want fairly thick but not too lean like some of the high-end butterfly cuts.  I’d steer clear of the family pack of thin breakfast chops, they work better in a skillet.

I wished I took a closer look at that upper tray, those two on the right look a bit gnarly.  Oh well, use a sharply tined fork and go all Ray Lewis over each piece on both sides then add to the cooled brine.  Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, longer for thicker cuts.  Mine are about 3/4 in. thick (I wouldn’t go over an inch), so I let it go about 8 hours.  Like before, I’ll prep everything the night before and drop the chops in the juice before I head out to work for The Man.

Remove from the brine and blot dry.  If the chops are a bit thin and went a little long in the bath, a brief soak in fresh water will help leech out any excessive salt.  At least that’s what I tell my cardiologist.  Give the meat about a half hour on the counter to warm up a bit, avoid going straight from the fridge to the grill with any meat.  Meanwhile, get that grill up to temp and scrub the grates down, then commence searing.

Those sharp eyed readers might have noticed some smoked sausages have found their way to our party.  Those came from a local place, one is beef and the other is pork and garlic, both in sheep casings.  Not lamb skin fortunately, I heard those can fail disastrously.  I had them around and hate unused grill real estate, so there they are.

Just like Nutrisystem ads, the “before” pictures are never pleasant to look at. Here’s a much nicer “after” shot:

These lighter-colored chops don’t pack a lot of flavor compared to darker meat.  The brining helps, but a little mopping is always a good idea on the grill.  My go-to glaze consists of softened butter, a shot of veg oil and a healthy dose of good Greek seasoning.  Mix up well and brush lightly on the cooked side; I avoid brushing the raw side as it only burns during the high heat searing, not to mention the dreaded cross contamination.

Yes, the hippy plate makes another appearance.  Once side 2 gets a good sear, drop the heat way down and flip again.  Lightly brush this side with the compound butter.  I don’t like to brush it on too heavy as it just drips over the side and causes flareups, so I prefer to turn them again after a few minutes and give both sides another basting.

If you are old school with a charcoal grill, set the coals up much deeper on one side to create a hot spot for searing, then flip the meat to the cooler side to finish.  No grill?  A broiler will work, then finish in a low oven if necessary to get to the final temp.

Speaking of temperature, the USDA wants piggy chops heated to a minimum of 145F internally.  I like to take it to 140 and check it a few minutes of resting off heat, it should coast to 145.  Check all pieces as the heating isn’t always even, move around as necessary.

Tent with foil and let rest for just a few minutes.  I keep mine in a cold toaster oven to keep them from cooling off too much.  Did I forget something?

Move along, nothing to see here.

I got a little hungry waiting, and the sausage needed testing.  Folks, find a place near you that does this right and you’ll never go commercial again.  Where were we?

Steamed green beans, the king of vegetables and NOT endorsed by the Lord of Darkness.  This is obviously my plate for once.  Applesauce is a standard side, unsweetened is best because I prefer dessert after the meal.  Actually, I don’t do dessert, that only means you didn’t already have enough real food to eat.  I’m weird like that.

That sausage gets secretly stashed for late night refrigerator raids, just need a little mustard and a tortilla for disguise.

This makes a lot, but they keeps well for a little while in the fridge, or you can freeze after vacuum packing to prevent freezer burn.  That little process is for next week, see you then!