Your “Well, Here’s Proof There Is No God” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

To answer the question from last night: $200.

NFL News:

• For reasons that will become apparent after the sun swallows the earth, Jerry Jones & some Hall of Fame folks met the Pope at The Vatican.
  • At least Robert Kraft is an observant Jew, which made the Jerusalem event yesterday make a lot more sense.
  • I can’t even summarize this bullshit. God should have smitten the building and had the earth swallow it whole, like that girl did Jerry.
    • At least it wasn’t a Cowboys jersey.

• David Harris is leaving the Jets for the Patriots, because the Patriots offered him more money than the Jets. Seems legit.
  • the Jets actually tried to offer him a pay cut, which will do nothing to quell rumours of a tank-season, despite what certain prideful players have to say.

• Panther Greg Olsen wants his deal restructured, to “reflect productivity”.
  • He’s in the last year of a three-year deal, and wants a two-year extension built in as well.
    • No word on a pony for his daughter.

• Norv Turner says he may return to coaching at some point. This year is the first time since 1975 he hasn’t been on a sideline.
  • So, look for his name when mid-season firing season opens.

• Apparently, the Browns have upgraded Brock Osweiler from “meh” to “Hmm…”
  • Mind you, even 2017 Bernie Kozar could guide the Browns to another 1-15, so the bar is ridiculously low.

• Today’s theft of Crimebeat! topics include:
  • Hey look – a former Browns #1 draft pick. 2014 disappointment Justin Gilbert will have to sit a year if he ever signs with a new team, due to violating the League’s substance abuse policy.
  • Keyshawn Johnson Jr. is taking leave from Nebraska after picking up a ticket for being caught with Mary Jane.
    • Dad clearly has his back:
      • “One thing you will not do as my son is you will not embarrass Nebraska, you will not embarrass (coach) Mike Riley and you will not embarrass this family. If you mature and you’re ready to resume your football career and academic goals, then Nebraska will be ready to embrace you.”
  • OJ Simpson’s parole hearing has been scheduled for July 20th. Expect an increase in Goldman family press conferences over the coming weeks.

Finally, your long read of the day comes from the MMQB, and is about Joe Don Looney, possibly “the most uncoachable player” in NFL history.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Annual awards, from Las Vegas – 8:00PM | Sportsnet | NBCSN
•  Beisbol:
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Rangers – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Mets at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Florida State vs. LSU – 7:00PM | ESPN

Tonight we find out who will form the Las Vegas Golden Knights roster. It’s going to look like a Buddy Cole MILF party. SO MANY 40 YEAR-OLDS!