Your “Well, This Is Awkward…” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• The Lions have agreed to pay Matt Stafford $135 million in a five-year extension.
  • That’s $27 million per year, or 16% of the team’s 2017 salary cap if the rules were strictly followed.
    • It includes a $50 million signing bonus, with a bunch of cap-affecting tricks like bonuses & workout targets factored in, and is $60 million guaranteed regardless.

• The Cowboys – Texans game has officially been moved from Houston to Dallas.
  • Concern for the League is the Texans’ home opener versus the Jags on September 10.

• Dan Fouts has publicly called the Carson relocation an “embarrassment” to the League & for the Spanos’.
  • To maintain good graces & avoid getting every December Buffalo broadcast, he blames the city of San Diego as well for the team’s departure.

• Eric Dickerson signed a one-day contract & retired as a member of the LA Rams.

• Let the quest for 0-16 commence: Josh McCown has been named the Jets starter for Week-1.

Finally, in what may have been the shortest CFL coaching career in the modern era, Art Briles was released by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats yesterday evening. It seems the team & league were unaware there was going to be any backlash.

• I guess they forgot that Canada doesn’t worship college athletics the same way MAGA-nation does. There’s actual scrutiny!
  • It’s harder to hide academic violations at U of C than U*NC, or five dead hookers at SFX than SMU.

Tonight’s sports:

• Baseball:
  • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

• U.S. Open Tennis:
  • First-round play – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN

• WWE:
  • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

• Basketball:
  • FIBA AmeriCup 2017:
    • Uruguay vs. U.S. – 7:30PM | ESPNU

It’s kinda quiet ahead of the fourth preseason game. A LITTLE TOO QUIET!