Your “Well, This Is Awkward…” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The Lions have agreed to pay Matt Stafford $135 million in a five-year extension.
    • That’s $27 million per year, or 16% of the team’s 2017 salary cap if the rules were strictly followed.
      • It includes a $50 million signing bonus, with a bunch of cap-affecting tricks like bonuses & workout targets factored in, and is $60 million guaranteed regardless.
Your highest-paid NFL QB
  • The Cowboys – Texans game has officially been moved from Houston to Dallas.
    • Concern for the League is the Texans’ home opener versus the Jags on September 10.
  • Dan Fouts has publicly called the Carson relocation an “embarrassment” to the League & for the Spanos’.
    • To maintain good graces & avoid getting every December Buffalo broadcast, he blames the city of San Diego as well for the team’s departure.
  • Eric Dickerson signed a one-day contract & retired as a member of the LA Rams.
  • Let the quest for 0-16 commence: Josh McCown has been named the Jets starter for Week-1.

Finally, in what may have been the shortest CFL coaching career in the modern era, Art Briles was released by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats yesterday evening. It seems the team & league were unaware there was going to be any backlash.

  • I guess they forgot that Canada doesn’t worship college athletics the same way MAGA-nation does. There’s actual scrutiny!
    • It’s harder to hide academic violations at U of C than U*NC, or five dead hookers at SFX than SMU.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Baseball:
    • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • U.S. Open Tennis:
    • First-round play – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • Basketball:
    • FIBA AmeriCup 2017:
      • Uruguay vs. U.S. – 7:30PM | ESPNU

It’s kinda quiet ahead of the fourth preseason game. A LITTLE TOO QUIET!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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