Man, these Olympic start times are really throwing off my rhythms. Being woken up by female curlers screaming “HURRY HARD!” probably isn’t helping.
Tonight’s sports:
- Olympics:
- NBC:
- 7:00PM – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Freestyle Skiing, Snowboarding, Luge
- 11:35PM – Alpine Skiing, Snowboarding
- NBCSN:
- 8:00PM – Snowboarding, Curling (Mixed Doubles Semifinal #1)
- 2:30AM – Hockey (Women’s Group B): Switzerland vs. Japan
- CBC:
- 7:00PM – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Freestyle Skiing
- 2:30AM – Hockey (Women’s Group B): Switzerland vs. Japan
- TSN:
- 8:00PM – Curling (Mixed Doubles Semifinals)
- Sportsnet:
- 8:00PM – Women’s Slopestyle Finals (SN1)
- 10:30PM – Women’s Alpine Skiing
- 5:30AM – Women’s biathalon: 10km pursuit
- NBC:
- NHL:
- Flames at Islanders – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Raptors at Hornets – 7:30PM | TSN2
- NCAA:
- Washington State at Oregon – 8:00PM | ESPNU
So apparently Padre Weaselo AND my uncle (his brother) BOTH fucked up their ankles. Today. Padre Weaselo tripped at the bottom of the stairs, sprained his ankle (and might have fractured the tip of his fibula). Uncle Weaselo stepped in a pothole or something and wrenched his.
I just texted Hermana Weaselo that we need all the bubble wrap, except we’ll probably both get hit by trucks.
Just the tip?
Hermana Weaselo’s response: “Did someone put a curse on all the Weaselos, who left Madame Zeroni behind”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojCPQ7ELW04
Damn gypsies. Had problems with them myself. Ran one over and an old lady cursed me with “not-thinner, no matter how much cardio”
Kellyanne Conway appears to be aging exponentially.
or thawing…….
Don’t forget about the 7-1 ratio for human to lying cunt years.
Sean Hannity is plastic.
So…. typing in Kellyanne Conway aging
and this
The men are excited for you too, Tara Lipinski.
What’s with the Olympic Athletes From Russia? Some political bullshit?
PEDs up the wing wang.
Sorry; Wing Wang is in China.
Doping. Looooooooads of doping.
Sponsored by the Russian government; hey at least they have some healthcare.
Got busted for PEDs. Russia itself was banned by the Olympic committee, but “clean” Russian athletes can compete as the OAR.
Very rare; like virgins in West Virginia.
They get piss tested twice daily or something. I think twenty more got the banhammer yesterday.
Wow, I’d be pissed.
…..wait a minute……
Really good story covering that on 60 Minutes earlier today, ask your grandparents about it.
Canadiana gets the gold in team figure skating.
I also throw in a third twizzle at any opportunity to showcase my technical proficiency.
Show-off
I tried, but my tongue seized up.
Fuck, man livin’ on the edge of disaster.
Ladies’ snowboarding (Slopestyle…da fuq kinda name is that?) is fun to watch.
Not as much fun as it would be if they were in bikinis. But still pretty fun.
Hope those girls are taking the right pill.
Me too!
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that sleep is highly underrated.
Cannot wait until Venice Beach spring this year. Under 3 months. I’m getting a raging semi just thinking about it.
Welp, that “was” a pretty good bottle of Merlot.
Next man up?
Tide. Gotta finish the laundry then it’s lights out.
You should never eat those Tide Pods, no matter if challenged.
So…no Clorox chaser either?
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/5381517fc16a757a5b15a0ee6353b7c7/tumblr_ntrh69NxMl1tx8snlo1_400.gif
Very NSFW.
But still worth it. Trust me.
Edit: Hmmm…apparently the spoiler tag doesn’t like me tonight. So here anyway….
h
ttps://images.sex.com/images/pinporn/2017/04/03/300/17576376.gif
“……”
Good to see Moonbase Alpha has an emergency room.
…… or landing pad target……
Or maybe they’re just Suisse?
They do deal with the cold very well.
*Due to edit “Moonbase Alpha joke no longer valid.
*Due to edit “Moonbase Alpha joke no longer valid.
*Due to edit “Moonbase Alpha joke no longer valid.
**Prolly never was.
REPLY FAIL!!
Adam Rippon on national TV staking his claim as the official figure skater of DFO by stating his desire for narcotics on national TV
Chuh chuh!
Fuck Mike Pence
Well, as preoccupied as he is with the gays…….
Especially the Xanax drinking ones
https://twitter.com/hogeyz/status/962886611653578752
That liquid Xanax….. gotta know how to handle it.
As soon as I typed it…..
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink7813.html
Goddammit Moose. Now I gotta go watch some Remy and jack it.
I mean WHO THE HELL IS THIS AGAIN??????????????????
I think she is in some kind of movies, like Netflicks or some such. I’ll go look it up.
I’m thinking if you actually crash going full speed on the luge….
Fuck it, let’s go bowling Dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc5iTNVEOAg
Stupid sexy clumsy fake bears with their gym balls and their zippers up the back.
The furries you hang with know about zipper hiding?
+1 for the reference, not the song, just to clarify.
Hehehe….tough, but fair.
“Target adjustment……OH FUCK, PUT AWAY THE NAILS!”
UPDATE: On Madden ’09, I got the Virtual Bengals to win a playoff game on 1/5/12. So I guess I am better than Mike Brown.
I also learned that they program these players for a full football game in 5 minute quarters. That way 5 minute quarters feel like real life 15 minute quarters. So when you set it for 15 minutes quarters and Supersim each play, the virtual players feel like they played 45 minute quarters. At it even into Overtime so the poor Virtual Bills and Virtual Bengals felt like they played 210 minutes of playoff football. And the injuries accurately reflect that fact.
The Bengals won 48-42 in OT. There were no survivors.
found a funny:
lining up after an orgy and saying “good nut” while shaking everyone’s hand
I’M USING THAT!
After an orgy? I’d probably limit myself to a quick fist bump.
On second thought, scratch that…just a hasty wave then bail.
I would leave early; seventeen, eighteen seconds, then a snack. “Bye bubye!”
Sobbing quietly in the corner for this guy.
DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!
Well, mine would just be “Whoa, excuse me ma’am; sorry about your ear.” Then off to the bar.
Sunday porn.
Big talk from a guy who just made a Cobb salad…… granted, not a very good one, but…..
Seeds in the bun are bad for diverticulitis.
2/10 – would not binge.
Bottom sandwich’s bread is disproportionate to the amount of toppings. 2/10 would not eat.
Johnny Weir is my favorite Olympic commentator and it’s not even close.
Give the dude credit, he ain’t going through it halfway.
Yeah; the gays, amiright!
I’m a Luger baby, so why don’t you kill me
I am not comfortable going 80+ MPH balls-first lacking any surrounding structural support.
Maybe that is why some guys started going headfirst and invented the skeketon.
Balls vs. Brains – the ultimate conundrum.
Balls seems far more interested in anal than in brains.
Now that I think about it.
Wait…
You got that right!
Don’t mind if I do….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1t6fNnLOfo
More of a Smith & Wesson guy myself, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Boy ain’t lying.
They gotta sweep hard!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNJx6BfibE0
I’ll take the H. It’s H-O-R-S-E, right?
Not sure; I didn’t get past H.
I think I’m in love.
Yay, time to take my niece home then I can come back and get crunk.
Later Taters.
Is it just me, or do the lady curlers bitch at the guys an awful lot?
Compared to NFL fans bitching about refs and coaches it is minuscule.
Tough, but fair.
Sorry; I was reading a comment section that I should not have been reading.
There was a Norwegian just screaming at her partner last night that I found quite amusing
Which porn were you watching?
Is it the draft yet?
I’m staying out of this discussion.
Apologies for the more or less life size LBJ photo. It wasn’t that big when I saw it (giggity) in the google image search.
Sheesh, that’s nightmare fuel right there.
At least we didn’t get the “full Johnson”.
This is a large comment.
It’s obviously an official photo, but apparently was taken right after his son gave him his “coming out” confession.
Is this year over yet?
No, 2 more weeks.
Why couldn’t smug Chevy guy get hit by a car when he took those real people not actors out in the middle of a busy freeway? I don’t ask for much in this life, come on.
Have you ever seen the parodies on youtube with Maaahk from Boston?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTfS0nAgfuE
I found my 1st white pube today. The end is nigh.
Just shave. They all look the same when they aren’t there.
Branches with no leaves look huge!
You’re not wrong. Some of us need to use every advantage we can.
NO I’LL DECIDE WHERE TO BEGIN MEASURING THIS TIME!!!!!!
I bet its owner was just as surprised as you.
Bravo!
/I haven’t seen one on a woman since 99!
Well kick her out and find a newer model for fucks sake.
To deal with NFL Withdrawal, I dug out an old Madden game (09) and am acting as GM. What I’ve learned:
1. In two years, I am showing more potential as a GM than Mike Brown and that’s with no scouting.
2. Free Agents that told me to go screw myself a 5-11 season are singing a different tune when the Off Season ends and they’re unemployed (thank you other 31 teams for Richard Seymour and his 96 OVR).
3. I forgotten the innocent joy of seeing a Bengals roster and not seeing Pacman Jones on it (God bless you, Deltha O’Neal).
To be fair, Mike Brown doesn’t use scouts, either.
Or free agents.
You have my attention.
“What is ‘Heard the Husband’s Car pull into the garage’?”
Why the fuck have the Olympic Channel if your not going to broadcast events, just stupid news/recaps/medal ceremonies. Do a Red-Zone style show for twelve hours! That’d be a hit, I tell ya!
I know. NBC infuriates me with their coverage.
First Olympics without Costas since 1924, ppl forget that.
Washington St v Oregon basketball is basically as competitive as watching Japan’s hockey team play against Jamaica’s Special Olympics hockey team.
That is, if Jamaica’s SO mascot is The Cougars.
At least the hockey games are live…