Listen up! And Welcome to InfoWars! The only show that takes you inside the Deep State so you can finally understand what the Globalists are plotting. My name is Richie Incognito and I’ll be hosting today’s very special edition of Right of the Alt-Right. With that out of the way, let’s get to our first break.

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Now, today we’re going to talk about a special report the Main Stream Media has wrongfully broadcast about me. It is, and I don’t know if this is too harsh a word around here, but it’s a conspiracy. First, their version — full of holes, illegitimate warrantless police searches,  and, finally, the arrest and mental hospital check-in of yours truly.

Ha! And that’s about the story. I’m at the gym working out, right? Well, while I’m running some high level shit here, some fucking fa– [put finger in earpiece]… what? oh, I see. You’re cool with conspiracy but not this? It’s locker room talk. Look, what about ‘Ef-Got’? No? Again? You guys do know that calling people that is sort of my thing, right? Yeah, no — queer is fine I guess but…no no, we’ll just scratch it altogether. But just so you know, you’re being a real Ef-Got right now. [lowers hand down to desk] Dude comes over and is in my business. Now, mind you, I’m using my phone for my music. And this guy is getting a little close and, you know, I’m actually a contract worker for the US intelligence programs so you could imagine the kind of high level stuff I got on my iPhone here. Yeah — Level Three stuff. So when this dude is getting close, stepping on my liberties and then challenging the liberties of the United States of America, I stood my ground.

Florida had some of the best stand your ground laws in the country. Used to be, a man could stand in another man’s front yard and blast the first man’s son just for wearing his hoodie like a thug. But now that Nancy Pelosi is eyeing to take back the House Speaker Gavel, it’s all ‘take the guns first and then maybe we look at due process.’ Nowadays, you chuck a dumbbell at a guy and he’s calling the cops.

Cops, now we’re talking top security levels. Now we’re talking about the true professionals of their trade craft. NOT! They want to see my TS-SCI pdfs and quicktime audio files? Sorry Boys in Blue, I’d rather this information not end up all over the streets because Sergeant Black has a gambling problem. Oh, I’m sorry, Officer Rosenthal. Seriously? That was the name of the dude who arrested me? Rosenthal? How about we just go with Officer Globalist.

Alright, and we’re on to our second break. And…uhh…[squints at teleprompter] I can’t read that. It’s something something NRA….something AR-15…and then in bold it says ummm….[sits up and puffs forward his chest] Rossiya, vperyod! S nami Bog!

Yeah sorry about that. It’s been kinda hard for me to read things that far away without my glasses and then I have so much damage to my head that my brain scan looks like swiss cheese.

But there you have it. A man — I prefer not to use the term Patriot as to not be associated with white nationalists — using his impeccable reputation to serve as a top level asset for the intelligence community is arrested by fucking Barney Fife because some Biggest Loser reject couldn’t stand seeing a real man work out. Well, sorry snowflakes, I’m no beta cuck. Never have been, never will be.

So where are we now? Well, today I sit here before you from the only true bastion of truth in the modern day media. While the MSM may say I’m crazy, then I’m not the only one. Sure, I might have dabbled a bit in the Krokodyl. And, in all the years of giving my weaker, less ambitious teammates swirlies in the locker room toilets, might the occasional fecal-based worm have splashed on me and ended up lodged in one of my brains? Sure. But when these animals are trying to shoot the messenger — or, in the case of England’s Prince William Deep State, a Novichok nerve agent used against their own people — that means that the message itself is truthful.

[Places finger against earpiece]

What? Cut short? Meds? I didn’t miss anything. This was the only thing on my schedule today. I thought this was an hour broadcast? Nurse who? How can…How…Who?

Nurse: Mr Incognito, do you hear me? We’re going to take a double dose since you missed yours this morning. Ok, are you ready?