CrimeBeat!: Detroit Lions Season Preview Edition

(Puts on Vince Mancini hat, dusts off Armond White’s seminal work, “Ethnic Frisson: Pretentiously Overbearing Pontification in Mid-Pre-Post-Modern Cinematic TruthBombing”) I am continually fascinated by Detroit in the context of movies. It’s now a tired cliché of dime-store film school refugees and bored-as-shit-on-a-film-junket directors to talk about how New York City is

CrimeBeat!: Breaking News Edition

WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED "HARD RIDE TO NOWHERE" TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL REPORT: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. I have the solemn duty to inform you that at 4:42 p.m., DFO Substandard Time on February 16, an unscheduled Jets Schadenfreude Day was launched from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reports are still

CrimeBeat!: Whistling Past the Graveyard Edition

/closes eyes, pinches bridge of nose, puffs out cheeks and blows out breath. Ok. Ok. You can do this, Mayhem. //opens eyes, stares at the gaunt, haunted face in the mirror. It's going to be fine. You can make lemonade. You can make a silk purse. You can be a lawyer and politics

Your “THIS is League Stability?”Thursday Night Open Thread

NFL News: The Raiders have officially filed their relocation papers with the League. According to Yelp, the second best, but closest, moving company to the is West Coast Moving Systems. They have a three-hour guaranteed response time, and proudly advertise having moved Gary Payton. This seems right up Mark

CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition

Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged hiatus of CrimeBeat! But fear not, sinners, for the Right Reverend is here to give you succor. (Note: sorry for the format- doing this from my phone