Door Flies…Up a Mountain?

Climb For the Kids 2018
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Webmaster: Dick Joke Blog at Evil Corp
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle.Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski.They have no children, but do have the world’s cutest dogs.
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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Hey kids, it’s Internet Dad.  I’m taking a break from dick jokes to talk about something near and dear to my heart, charity.  I give to a bunch of causes throughout the year, and don’t want to bore you guys, but I have a friend who is doing something really awesome.

My pal Ryan Kelley, better known as The Home Loan Expert, is climbing the Grand Teton in Jackson Hole, Wyoming to raise money for charity.  The craziest thing about it is that Ryan is fucking TERRIFIED of heights, but he does it to help these kids.  He’s also raised money for charity by boxing a loudmouthed radio clown and marching in the Bataan Memorial Death March.  He cares about helping other people and is insanely kind to people and is willing to put himself out there in physical harm to help kids.

Ryan has climbed a mountain yearly for the last 4 years raising money, and it grows every year.  This year, he’s climbing to raise money for 5 charities.   Ryan doesn’t touch a penny of the money and it all goes towards the charity, and he pays for the climb out of his own pocket to make sure that the kids get the maximum return.

If you want to help, I have linked each donation page below with the description of where your money is going.

SSM Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital is a nationally-acclaimed children’s hospital located right here in my hometown of St. Louis.  They do not turn down any kid based on their ability to pay, so they need a TON of money to keep helping kids.  They’re awesome and help a ton of kids from all over the country.

Friends of Kids With Cancer is another St. Louis-based charity that’s devoted to enriching the daily lives of children undergoing treatment for, and survivors of, cancer and blood-related diseases. Providing care through the educational and recreational support needed as a result of the long hours of chemotherapy, illness and isolation.

Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt is one of the nation’s leading children’s hospitals, treating and helping to prevent a full range of pediatric health issues from colds and broken bones to complex heart diseases and cancer. Named among the nation’s “Best Children’s Hospitals” for 12th consecutive years.

Alec Ingram was first diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer when he was just nine years old, in 2015. Since then he and his family have endured months of chemotherapy treatments, numerous surgeries, and weekly stays at SSM Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital.  This one is not tax-deductable, but the family can really use the money to help make Alec’s life better.  I’ve met this kid a few times and he’s a great dude and a sports fan.  You all would love him.

Fight DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) – Jonah and Emory Marlin were diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy(DMD) at the ages of 5 and 2. DMD is a horrible disease that is fatal 100% of the time with no current cure. This disease affects 1 in 3500 boys born each year with no ethnic or geographical boundaries.  These are another couple of awesome kids that are having a rough go of it, and anything you could spare to go towards the fight would be awesome.

You can learn more about the Climb For the Kids here.  If you guys have some charitible bucks burning a hole in your pocket or can afford to throw in a couple of bucks, please do.  If you tag it DFO or let me know I’ll add your name onto this post as a donor, an honor only reserved for the coolest of people.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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blaxabbathBrettFavresColonoscopyDarkest Timeline Zack MorrisRikki-Tikki-Deadlyyeah right Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought we were supposed to waste all of our money on hookers and blow

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Given that I literally used a local cancer survivor to mock Roger Goodell, I think the least I can do is chip in a little for the Friends of Kids with Cancer.

blaxabbath

I’ve met this kid a few times and he’s a great dude and a sports fan. You all would love him.

What’s his best Aaron Hernandez joke?

yeah right

As someone who has visited a children’s hospital too many times for a sick little brother I am happy to contribute.