Hard Knocks Season Premier and Tuesday Night Open Thread.

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

Hot diggity damn y’all! It’s premier night for Hard Knocks on HBO!

While many folks will bitch and moan about the repetition, the tired tropes, the year-to-year story lines I am hear to tell you “Who gives a flying fuck?” To me it means football is right around the corner.

One way to look at the timeline of Hard Knocks is a build up to the actual NFL season itself. The show starts with the arrival to camp, followed by the preseason games, followed by the fucking brutal squad cut downs followed by the season finale. After the season finale it is only a matter of DAYS until the real NFL season starts.

Get some goddamn hype going folks!

Plus this year it’s Cleveland! The Factory is in the house! Tell me this isn’t must-see appointment-only train wreck viewing. Fuck yes!

Of course it will be Baker Mayfield overload. Of course there will be the wide-eyed rookies learning the ropes. Of course there will be a foul mouthed coordinator or coach – usually on the defense. But this time it’s the Browns!

The goddamn jokes write themselves!

How many appearances will Jimmy Haslem make? Two? Three? Or will he stay in his underground bunker until the bright lights are put away? Most of all we get to find out just how in the blue fuck does Hue Jackson still have his job? Is he really that dynamic? Does he still have the drive and influence to turn this sad as fuck, shit awful team into a productive unit? Will he actually show the compromising photos that he has of Jimmy H?

I MUST KNOW!

Let’s all tune in, crack open a cold one and grab a goddamn snack!

This shit is going to be…

I have no idea but I do know. I WILL WATCH THIS DISASTER UNFOLD!

I demand a montage!

Get after it folks!

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.

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Brick MeathooknomonkeyfunCol. Duke LaCrossMr. AyoBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

(dick joke)

Col. Duke LaCross

Trampoline Dodgeball on The Ocho!

Col. Duke LaCross

Oh shit, I forgot Greggggggg Williams was there.

Col. Duke LaCross

And still a fucking lunatic.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Tastefully named.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy sweaty balls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That’s just normal engine exhaust, folks; it’s called a “contrail.” There’s nothing to be afraid of.

Fronkenshteen

Having a hawt friend can be weird. Like when you’re pretty sure two dudes are trying to double team her, but she might be into that…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

I remember the Brogan and Roeback catalog.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

It took a lot of work…but they managed to make Hue look human and vulnerable.

And for a 4 minute period, I didn’t want him catapulted into Lake Erie.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

They should kill his mother every week.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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King Hippo

I heartily approve of this Comment and Commentist

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

You wanted to trebuchet him into Lake Erie instead?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I just realized something…this coaches meeting looks like the last NA meeting I went to.

The god awful goatees…thinning hair…broken people…shit stain clothing…

nomonkeyfun

The first step is admitting you are powerless and that your life(team) is unmanageable.

WCS

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

4th string QB for the Browns.

Honest to fucking god…I did not know that position existed even in the first few days of training camp.

Can the guy even identify what a football is?

King Hippo

did he try and fuck it?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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He looks like one of the evil jocks from Revenge of the Nerds.

King Hippo

oh, he try and fuck anything

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We KNOW he’s fucked that couch…. a LOT.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Get this man under center ASAP. He’ll be a legend.

Shogun Marcus

Well it’s cleveland, so…

WCS

Of course he can:

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

$7.7 mill for a season and a half of debilitating injuries…

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

You don’t like to go outside? East Cleveland is perfect for YOU!

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King Hippo

I’m listening…

Senor Weaselo

Arson!

herodotus450
herodotus450

moar like BalderDashson amirit

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Set up a footy tip pool for the Rugby Championship for anyone interested:

https://www.footytips.com.au/competitions/?competitionId=507230&ff=invite

Spur
Spur

Jarvis Landry is making friends in Cleveland.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Apparently Hue is as effective at grieving as running an NFL team.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And now Balderson is up by 1600+ votes. I don’t think the provisionals can come anywhere close to closing that gap. Bummed that O’Connor couldn’t quite do it, but not too shabby for a district that was R+37 just two years ago.

King Hippo

alright, my maths sucks again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

R+37 for the congressional election.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

In Cleveland, the unemployed are very loud and proud…

Spur
Spur

Unemployed Fans?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Good financial advice to the Browns is taking $100k and sticking in a bank account and never touching it.

How the fuck can you understand compound interest and not inflation.

Shogun Marcus

Or just jam it up an anus. Properly prepped of course.

Spur
Spur

This a pep talk?

Redshirt

2016 Liberals: “Of course Hillary lost! The election is rigged. That’s why I didn’t vote!”
2018 Liberals: “SEE! Its still rigged! I’m glad I didn’t vote in this one too!”

I hope this is only a joke, but just in case it isn’t, you guys better hunt these people down and drag them by their nose-rings to an early polling place.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

If my state wasn’t already bluer than David Carridine right before he finished, I would do exactly that/

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

“Start your career how you want to start your career”

Coming from a man who turned an 8-8 season into a 9-39 record as a head coach.

WCS

Who started 7-4.

Redshirt

“BREAKING NEWS coming in to CNN. Several rookie football players from the Cleveland Browns, both drafted and undrafted, are swimming across Lake Erie to defect to Canada. The CFL has reported that they will setup a Supplemental Draft, assuming they survive the lake water alive and unmutated, or at least mutated in way that wouldn’t cause an unfair performance advantage.”

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

“Why not the Cleveland Browns?”

Well why the fuck would it happen now?!?!