2018 Quotables – Week 3 (Results)



I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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Little housekeeping up front: while my Cam+Mccaffrey buoyed fantasy team is settling in for my throwaway week (don’t worry, this is the last I will talk of fantasy football here — I just like to mention my strategy because it was stupid, is stupid, and will be stupid post Panthers bye), I will be burning my free Southwest Airlines drink tickets while en route to Oakland for the Week 3 Browns at Raiders matchup. If I get some free time around the city, I am under the impression that there is plenty of fun stuff to do while I’m in, as the kids say, NorCal.

So, while you may get a Boots on the Ground: Black Hole Survivor Edition post from me, you will not be getting a Week 4 Quotables. But, trust me, I’m sure the brain trust at [DFO] will provide you all with a very qualified candidate to fill in and handle submissions right up until DTZM notices that said candidate’s objective performance is revealing the site to be nothing more than a bunch of drunks, liars, and sex criminals before reeling this professional back in as an attempt to further conceal the evidence of [DFO]’s capacity to serve as a justice of the United States Supreme Court.  Then Silldsey Grammons will throw a big huff and act like the [DFO] is entitled to being a Top 50,000 site on the interwebz.

But, you know what? That won’t be my problem because I will have been stabbed to death. And, for today, let’s just focus on this weeks wonderful commentist performances and bask in the warm glow of  YOUR 2018 Quotables Week 3 Results.

“James Potter was always suspicious of his wife Lily’s insistence on attending Jabbawockeez performances without him and his worst fears were confirmed after the birth of their second child.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Of course the Cleveland mascot carries a crowbar.” -ArmedandHammered


“Watson has shown surprising intelligence as a QB. Eli has yet to learn that he shouldn’t attempt to block until after he gets rid of the ball.” -nomonkeyfun

“Winner of this Dance off gets to leave San Fran for a playoff team!” -Wakezilla

“And thus does the newly-rolling bandwagon begin its purge of the less-popular longtime fans.” -Petronel

“That Wounded Knee crack isn’t quite so funny now, is it?” -LemonJello


“/Collinsworth sees losing player celebrate individual result. ‘Now look at this. Here is the problem with the NFL today. Here is a perfect example of…(notices it is JJ) a guy who keeps his motor up and is excited and playing hard even when his team is losing. That is some real leadership there.'” -Game Time Decision



I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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There should be a Cleveland rodent post every week


Well it was a great comment,!


Both were great. I really thought that the pumpkin spice was going to win.
But, I mean to get two in a week with this crew…
I’d like to thank the academy, my family, all those who made it possible.
But most especially, I’d like to thank Blaxabbath for accepting the bribe I sent.


The GTD JJ Watt one is perfect.

Game Time Decision

that wasn’t me…i was the “pumpkin spice at Starbucks” one. It was nomonkeyfun that made the comment


I’m surprised he didn’t give credit to Blaxito.


Just like the world today.

Not giving the straight white man credit for anything. I mean really. Look at that performance yesterday. Have you seen someone tell such a whopper as Kavanaugh since a 5 year old literally got caught with a hand in the cookie. No. And does he get any credit for his skill in prevarication. Of course not. In this world today all we hear about is how honest Ford was, nothing about the effort by the hard working white man to create and stick to a line of bullshit so large that it could only have come from Babe the Blue Ox. That takes real effort. Only a sad weak woman would stick to the truth and try to be helpful and please all of those powerful people.

/removes fedora
/throws up


Welcome to the ralph club for men with weak stomachs and loose morals