Mmmm. That’s what I came here for. 

It’d be a waste of a column if they were good. Well, that’s not fair. The Nets were good tonight. For almost the whole game, even. I wasn’t sold what was advertised in my mind when I dreamed up the idea of following Brooklyn. At least I haven’t been through the first five games. With one exception, they’ve had a chance to win every night. They went down to New Orleans, to face one of the only four unbeaten teams in the league, featuring one of the five best players in the game, and they had them right where they wanted them, managing a 7 point lead with under two minutes to go in the game.

Did they win? No, my friends. They did not win. And now I’m sitting here, in the afterglow of a pre-Halloween meltdown that nobody will ever know happened. The World Series is on, and I’m sure a solid half of the sports loving universe is huddled around some stainless steel bleachers watching high school football. The city’s attention is focused on the visiting Warriors and their fourth quarter smacking down of the Knicks. It’s just me and a bunch of Pelicans fans here, and both of us are laughing our asses off.

I’ve got a confession to make: I think losses are funny. Especially dumb losses that don’t involve the teams I really care about. I’m having fun watching these Nets, but I knew the deal when I got on the ride: Expect nothing, take lots of pictures. I don’t want to say I’m cynical enough to know they’d lose the game, because those guys are dicks and would rather be correct than have a good time, but I also didn’t have the faith imbued in this team to know that they were going to pull it out either.

Also, it’s October 26th. Who even cares, man?

Well, I cared. I was worn down going into the game, following a week at the office that went by quick and left me feeling dead. You don’t care about my tales from the office, but it was one of those weeks where a black cloud hovers over your head and zaps you with a little shot of lighting every time you start to unclench. Of course this black cloud is largely my own doing, as I am not what one would call a go getter. I can see the ceiling and know my limitations. The game is to be nice to the wife, do well by my kid, and get 10 years of retirement in some sub-tropical dwelling before I taste the reaper’s halitosis. Maybe that’s the insane goal now that I think about it. I’ve seen what monied people look like right before they die. Playing for overtime might be a form of machoism. One of these days I’ll go down that tangent when I don’t have anything better to write about.

But not today. Today we have headline news. And I can say that if the Nets aren’t good, they’re talented enough to be entertaining. For one, I’d sure as hell rather watch them than the Knicks, who also flirted with destiny holding a lead over the Golden State Warriors at the Garden, before being cruelly reminded that they are the Knicks, that of all the great arenas in sports, MSG is unique in that all the iconic wins come from the visiting team. I swear it’s not hipsterdom. I’m not praising them for running tighter sets. Hell, they turn the ball over so often you’d think they had flippers and only called out where the ball was headed after it had left their hand. I don’t believe they’re technically sound in any way. They’re just pretty entertaining to watch.

The YES network heads will point to the quick 8-0 deficit they faced on the road to start the game, and the way they roared back to get a 13 point lead. They’ll mention how they stifled Anthony Davis, while completely overlooking the fact that Jrue Holiday lit them up all night. And then they’ll get to those weird two minutes at the end of the game, where they tried to slow the pace, and simply just forgot to score buckets. New Orleans chipped away, and cut the deficit to one, and set the trap that Brooklyn escaped. Seconds ticked away while the Nets tossed the ball around the court avoiding the foul that would stop the clock and send them to the line.

“All they had to do was  keep the ball in bounds”

With the clock dwindling down to closing time, D’Angelo Russell, who had played the way you might expect of somebody who went second overall in the draft three years ago, no-look passed the ball past LeVert’s reach into the land of ballboys and security guards. With seven seconds they found themselves protecting a one point lead, which they did not succeed in protecting. Jrue Holiday hit one last bucket to put the Hungry Birds up one.

The Nets called a timeout and would get a chance to score with two seconds left, when Solomon Hill forgot what team he played for and caught Ed Davis’ forearm for trying to crash the Nets huddle. Ed Davis was assessed a technical, but honestly, you should catch a forearm for getting cute. Just try to join the other team’s huddle on the streets, son. Anyway, the refs did not subscribe to street justice, and New Orleans was given the shot and made it a two point game, but really, none of that mattered as Anthony Davis tipped the inbound away and set the Nets home wanting.

That’s basketball. It happens, and absolutely nobody will remember this game by Thanksgiving. Once more, I’ll try to tell my friends, and they’ll swat the attempt at conversation into the eight row. Then they’ll ask me why I care so much, which I don’t of course. I just think it’s funny and wanted to talk about how silly the game was. It’s all so ridiculous, is what it is. What’s next? Well the Warriors are coming to town, so that’s probably a loss, but it’ll be a pretty loss featuring a lot of silly threes from Curry, and transcendent play from noted dweeb Kevin Durant. But I guess it’ll be interesting to see how fully they throw themselves into this futile effort.

The fact remains that they’re a young dumb team, but I think they’ll wise up. Or maybe I will, and stop slowly convincing myself that this team is secretly good.

The Brooklyn Nets are now 2-3 and sit in a 3-way tie for 9th place in the Eastern Conference.