Copa America Preview- Ecuador: Anything But Middle Of The Road

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
Ian Scott McCormick

Are you ready for some football? Slow down. Before you tell me that I need to wait until the fall, you should know that I am referring to soccer, or as the good people of Latin America refer to it, “Futbol americano, sin el americano, por favor.” [1]. The Copa America is set to begin shortly, and as such, I will be your tour guide for Ecuador. But before we get into that, I think it is important that we better understand Ecuador. Who are they? Where are they? And why do they do the things that they do?



These are geographical descriptors, to be sure, but also ideas that inevitably come to a collision in the middle. 13 countries touch the infamous equator [2], though only one has made it a part of their celebrated national identity.

Ecuador. Or as the Spanish speakers of the world understand it “The Equator.” [3]

Ecuador is a coastal nation of approximately 17,082,427 [4], bordering Peru and Colombia [5]. Independent since 1822, Ecuador remains a developing economy. It’s chief exports are Petroleum, Bananas, Cut Flowers and Shrimp [6]. Their primary trading partners include the United States of America, Columbia, China, Venezuela, Brazil, Chile, Japan and Mexico, though they import far more than they export. Many people around the world have trouble balancing a budget, and in many ways Ecuador is really just a collection of people. People, who in many cases, live along the equator.


What is the day like for the typical Ecuadorian? Much of that depends on which region the particular Ecuadorian resides in. There are currently four major regions in Ecuador. There is La Costa, La Sierra, La Amazonia, and La Región Insular [7].

Famous people born in Ecuador include [8], but are not limited to Gerardo


Mike Judge

and Rico Suave

I did not include Christina Aguilera, who is notably, half Ecuadorian [9]. But I could have.

Also famous was Charles Darwin, who developed the theory of evolution, much of which during his time in the Galapagos Islands, where he studied and ate all of the animals that he could stomach [10].

Today the nation of Ecuador is struggling to maintain it’s own identity. Their official currency is the USD Dollar [11], which is what American’s use as well. Of course maybe this should be the type of thing that is celebrated at the Copa America, as an idea to pool all of our resources together on one form of Currency: The Amero. Perhaps it could all be blockchain. These are all ideas of course. I wouldn’t want to presume to know exactly what the correct solution would be in this report.

Traditional Ecuadorian food includes Zarapatocha, Langostinos, Llapingachos, and of course Uchumanga, among many, many other dishes [12].

But what of their soc- I mean…football team? Glad you asked. They will start the tournament in Group C. Where they will end it is anybody’s guess. The group C table includes Chile, Uruguay and Japan [13]. Uruguay’s chief exports are made up of Meat, Wood, Dairy/Eggs/Honey, Oil Seeds, Cereals, Live Animals, Plastics/Plastic Articles, Wool, Raw Hides, and Milling Products [14]. Some people might expect for them to lay the wood to Ecuador, but I have a feeling they’ll be a little more humble when they realize that from 2014 to 2018 they experienced a decline of $16.6% in total exports. Their flag has a sun with a face on it. It looks a lot like the CBS Sunday Morning logo [15]. I don’t think Jane Pauley would make a very good President though.

Their second match will come against Chile. Chile’s flag looks like a Chinatown knockoff Texas Flag. I don’t have a source for that. I took creative license with that one. Their chief exports are Ore, Copper, and Fish [16].

After that they will play Japan. Japan is not a North, Central, or South American nation [17]. But what they lack in Americanness, they make up for in Vehicles, Machinery, Iron, Plastics, and Organic Chemicals [18].

In short, whether you like it or not, Ecuador is ready for some football. And they are now my favorite team. Will they win or lose or draw? One can only speculate. But either way, I would expect them to shock the world.




[1] Google Translate English to Spanish.

[2] “Countries on the Equator”

[3] Google Translate English to Spanish.

[4] Population/World/Latin America and the Caribbean/ South America/ Ecuador

[5] Maps

[6] Business/Exports


[8] “Famous People From Ecuador”

[9] “Christina Aguilera Returns to Her Roots in Ecuador”

[10] “Charles Darwin Ate Every Animal He Discovered”


[12] “23 Traditional Ecuadorian Food You Must Try”


[14] “Uruguay’s Top 10 Exports”


[16] “Chile’s Top 10 Exports”

[17] Maps, again.

[18] “Japan’s Top 10 Exports”




Ian Scott McCormick
Ian Scott McCormick
Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
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ballsofsteelandfurySenor Weaselolitre_colaKing Hippo Recent comment authors
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I love this report and I hope Mrs. Gallagher gives it an A+.

(A- at worst)

Senor Weaselo

So you’re saying it’s a land of contrasts?


USD eh? Figured they would have had a Revolucion! back in the day and had a socialist dude on all the money.

King Hippo

Mike Judge FTW!!!