INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER is seated at the console, setting things up for the day’s show.  DJ 3000 relaxes nearby. 

DJ 3000: So who’s the guest for today?

PRODUCER: [looks up] Oh, actually it’s quite the get.

DJ 3000: We’re closing out the season in style?

PRODUCER: Very much so.

RECEPTIONIST: [via intercom] Your guest for today is here.

PRODUCER: Wonderful, wonderful.  Send him in.

— [door flies open] —

The PRODUCER looks up from the console as he continues to hit buttons and slide controls into position. 

PRODUCER: Mr. Kraft, welcome, thank you so much for joining us.  I just have a couple adjustments left to make before…

BOB KRAFT: [dreamily watching the PRODUCER work as though hypnotized] My God.  That’s amazing.

PRODUCER: Oh, it’s not as complex as it looks, there’s just a few…

KRAFT: No, no, your hands!  The way your they fly around that console.  Such dexterity!  [gets a faraway look in his eyes] Why, with hands like that you, you could…

PRODUCER: [finishes setting things up and stands]  All set!  If you could just head into the booth…

KRAFT: First, a handshake.

PRODUCER: [uncomfortably] Uh…okay.

The PRODUCER offers his hand for a handshake, and BOB KRAFT grasps it with both of his own hands and holds it firmly.

KRAFT: My goodness.  They feel even more beautiful than they look!

PRODUCER: Um…

KRAFT: [still holding] Such smooth skin.  And what a grip!

PRODUCER: [starting to squirm slightly] Yes, yes, very nice to meet you.

KRAFT: [still holding] You must do some kind of forearm exercises.

PRODUCER: [looks at DJ 3000 for help, who says nothing but a small red light on his console labeled “laughter” begins flashing silently] Just some occasional tennis.  Listen, why don’t we…

KRAFT: You know, we really could use someone with such…strong hands…working for me.

PRODUCER: No, really, I…

KRAFT: In my organization, I mean.  You see, I make a great many investments, and I often find that my advisers are far to eager to exit our positions prematurely.  They have “weak hands”, as it were.  Now, before we get to the radio show, I do have a bit of a special request.

PRODUCER: Well, we’ll see what we can…

KRAFT: If you could just tickle the ring a little bit?

PRODUCER: [glances down at the Super Bowl LIII ring that KRAFT is sporting, glances back up]

KRAFT: No, not that ring.  [winks]

PRODUCER: [is horrified]

KRAFT: [finally releases the PRODUCER’s hand] Ha ha ha ha!  Just a joke, man.  Relax!

PRODUCER: [audibly sighs with relief]

KRAFT: I wasn’t kidding about having a special request, though.  Do you have some gaffer tape?

PRODUCER: Um…sure.

The PRODUCER opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out a roll.  He hands it to KRAFT, who theatrically stretches out a section with a snap, then turns and places it over the video camera on DJ 3000’s front control panel.

DJ 3000: HEY!

KRAFT: Sorry about that, old sport.  But I’ve learned my lesson, and I would prefer not to have any cameras capturing what’s about to happen in here.  [turns to the PRODUCER] Now.  Are you familiar with the expression “knob turner”…?

—

Today’s topic is “in good hands”.  We’re looking for songs about hands and the things that hands do, like grabbing things, holding on to things, etc.  I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from The Smiths.  This is the last Request Line of the season, so there are no limits today. Have at it!