INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – LATE AFTERNOON

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are lounging around in their office.  Scratch that – ONE sleazy Hollywood producer is lounging around in the office.  And he’s less “lounging” than “sitting at his desk”, staring blankly at an empty WordPress post.  Sighing, he opens a console window and types in a few commands.

— [interweb tubes flies open] —

DJ 3000 shimmers into existence.

DJ 3000: WHAT THE FUCK?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: Ah, there you are.

DJ 3000: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE? I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ON SET RIGHT NOW.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: Yeah, I know.  But we don’t have your lines ready yet.

DJ 3000: ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU SAID AT THE TABLE READ THAT THE WHOLE STORYLINE WAS READY TO GO.  I’M SUPPOSED TO BE COVERING MY TRACKS FROM…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: Yes, yes, but I don’t have a topic for it to segue into.

DJ 3000: WE GO LIVE ON THE AIR IN LESS THAN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS AND YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A TOPIC YET?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: That’s correct.  Originally it was going to be “Hands Clean” and the topic was going to be hands.  But we did that one a while back when Bob Kraft stopped by.  And then I thought “things that are clean” but realized that we’ve done that one, too.

DJ 3000: WELL YOU’D BETTER HURRY THE FUCK UP IT’S TIME FOR THE OPEN THREAD.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: Oh, Goddamnit.  That too?

DJ 3000: I’LL BE IN MY TRAILER.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: Okay, I’ll give you a holler if I need you.

DJ 3000: UH, NO.  I SAID I’LL BE IN MY TRAILER.  I DID NOT ENCOURAGE YOU TO CONTACT ME IN ANY WAY.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADY: Shit.  I’d better get this thing posted.

—

Okay, there’s a bunch of sports on tonight.  Roundball playoffs.  Canadian flatball playoffs too, I assume.  Have at it!