Request Line: Keep It Clean

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER and DJ3000 are standing outside the recording booth, waiting for their guest to arrive.

DJ3000: I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

PRODUCER: For the last time, we already had a guest scheduled for this week. We can’t just cancel on him after he’s traveled this far.

DJ3000: SURE WE CAN.

PRODUCER: [Sighing] Look, if he doesn’t show up, then you can go, okay? He’s already dangerously close to missing his spot. [Pauses] I wonder what could be keeping him?

DJ3000: [Nervously] I HAVE NO IDEA.

[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

NAJEH DAVENPORT: Hey guys, so sorry I’m late.

PRODUCER: Oh, whew, you just made it. Did you get stuck in traffic on your way over?

DAVENPORT: No, actually, it was the craziest thing; it seems like almost every Indian restaurant in the city kept delivering food to my hotel room, like it was for someone else that had already paid for it.

Beads of motor oil sweat begin to appear on DJ3000’s control panel

DAVENPORT: It seemed like such a waste to throw it all out, so after a few meals, I must have just lost track of time. And then when I finally got here, I kept finding all these bowls of mints between the receptionist and the studio here, and they were so good, I just kept stopping for them. Want one?

DJ3000’s optical sensors dart back and forth between DAVENPORT and the PRODUCER at an alarming rate

PRODUCER: No, no, that’s okay. Just go ahead and go into the booth there and we’ll get started in just a minute. Do you need anything before we get going?

DAVENPORT: You know, I am actually a little thirsty.

PRODUCER: We don’t usually allow drinks into the booth, but as long as you keep it away from the equipment in there… [Turns to DJ3000] Can you get him setup?

DJ3000: [Very quickly] UH HUH!

The PRODUCER ushers DAVENPORT into the booth and leaves the studio. DJ3000 rolls over and closes the door behind him before hooking himself into the studio’s controls and PA

DJ3000: [To DAVENPORT in the booth] PUSH THAT BUTTON TO TALK.

DAVENPORT: [Stomach audibly gurgles] Ooh, I don’t know… I’m not feeling so–

DJ3000: YOU ARE LIVE IN 5…

There is a knocking sound as the PRODUCER is seen through the door’s glass window just outside the studio

PRODUCER: Uh, hey, the door’s locked.

DJ3000: [Not moving] 4…3…

PRODUCER: HEY! Don’t start without me!

DJ3000: 2… [“ON AIR” sign illuminates]

DAVENPORT: Hello there everyone and welcome to Request Line! I am former NFL runningback, Najeh Davenport here to spin a few… [Stomach gurgles again, louder, but he tries to play it off with a slight cough] …uhm, records for you.

PRODUCER: [Now pounding on the door] LET ME IN!

DJ3000: [Starts rolling over towards the door, but suddenly stops]

PRODUCER: Uh, hey, buddy, time is kind of a factor here.

DJ3000: [Clearly lying] CRITICAL SYSTEMS UPDATE DOWNLOADED.

PRODUCER: What?! I thought I disabled that!

DAVENPORT: [Now clutching his stomach and sweating profusely] I’ve always been a fan of keeping things…[Swallows] pretty clean and tidy, which is why in college… [Shifts uncomfortably in chair] they would call me the, oh… no. NononoOOOHHHH GOD!

A truly horrible sound reverberates throughout the entire building and is broadcast across the airwaves

PRODUCER: [Crestfallen] I am so fired. [There is a long silence] Is he, dead?

DJ3000: [Happily] UPDATE COMPLETE. BEGINNING PLAYLIST SEQUENCE.

Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “hygiene,” however you think of it; clean, dirty and everything in between. The idea is to post music that YOU like and want to listen to. Just because something fits the theme, if you don’t like it, don’t post it. In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_3oOUfpdVY”.  When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. If your link doesn’t pick up, an admin will try to help out.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.

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yeah righttheeWeeBabySeamusBrettFavresColonoscopySonOfSpamSenor Weaselo Recent comment authors
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yeah right

This is how I rinse.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Say what you will, but it’s a good song and fits the theme.
Plus she’s hot.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know why I just remembered this, but screw you, too:

Senor Weaselo

He likes to keep his fire engine clean. It’s a clean machine.

nomonkeyfun

Senor Weaselo

Phrasing, boom?

SonOfSpam

It says “man” not “men”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, but I gotta post Mr. Washee Washee.
I NO HAVE YOUR SHIRT!!!!!!

SonOfSpam

I know it makes me terrible on multiple levels, but dammit I still find a lot of Family Guy funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

Assuming this is Low Commander’s ringtone: