Request Line: Keep It Clean

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER and DJ3000 are standing outside the recording booth, waiting for their guest to arrive.

DJ3000: I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

PRODUCER: For the last time, we already had a guest scheduled for this week. We can’t just cancel on him after he’s traveled this far.

DJ3000: SURE WE CAN.

PRODUCER: [Sighing] Look, if he doesn’t show up, then you can go, okay? He’s already dangerously close to missing his spot. [Pauses] I wonder what could be keeping him?

DJ3000: [Nervously] I HAVE NO IDEA.

[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

NAJEH DAVENPORT: Hey guys, so sorry I’m late.

PRODUCER: Oh, whew, you just made it. Did you get stuck in traffic on your way over?

DAVENPORT: No, actually, it was the craziest thing; it seems like almost every Indian restaurant in the city kept delivering food to my hotel room, like it was for someone else that had already paid for it.

Beads of motor oil sweat begin to appear on DJ3000’s control panel

DAVENPORT: It seemed like such a waste to throw it all out, so after a few meals, I must have just lost track of time. And then when I finally got here, I kept finding all these bowls of mints between the receptionist and the studio here, and they were so good, I just kept stopping for them. Want one?

DJ3000’s optical sensors dart back and forth between DAVENPORT and the PRODUCER at an alarming rate

PRODUCER: No, no, that’s okay. Just go ahead and go into the booth there and we’ll get started in just a minute. Do you need anything before we get going?

DAVENPORT: You know, I am actually a little thirsty.

PRODUCER: We don’t usually allow drinks into the booth, but as long as you keep it away from the equipment in there… [Turns to DJ3000] Can you get him setup?

DJ3000: [Very quickly] UH HUH!

The PRODUCER ushers DAVENPORT into the booth and leaves the studio. DJ3000 rolls over and closes the door behind him before hooking himself into the studio’s controls and PA

DJ3000: [To DAVENPORT in the booth] PUSH THAT BUTTON TO TALK.

DAVENPORT: [Stomach audibly gurgles] Ooh, I don’t know… I’m not feeling so–

DJ3000: YOU ARE LIVE IN 5…

There is a knocking sound as the PRODUCER is seen through the door’s glass window just outside the studio

PRODUCER: Uh, hey, the door’s locked.

DJ3000: [Not moving] 4…3…

PRODUCER: HEY! Don’t start without me!

DJ3000: 2… [“ON AIR” sign illuminates]

DAVENPORT: Hello there everyone and welcome to Request Line! I am former NFL runningback, Najeh Davenport here to spin a few… [Stomach gurgles again, louder, but he tries to play it off with a slight cough] …uhm, records for you.

PRODUCER: [Now pounding on the door] LET ME IN!

DJ3000: [Starts rolling over towards the door, but suddenly stops]

PRODUCER: Uh, hey, buddy, time is kind of a factor here.

DJ3000: [Clearly lying] CRITICAL SYSTEMS UPDATE DOWNLOADED.

PRODUCER: What?! I thought I disabled that!

DAVENPORT: [Now clutching his stomach and sweating profusely] I’ve always been a fan of keeping things…[Swallows] pretty clean and tidy, which is why in college… [Shifts uncomfortably in chair] they would call me the, oh… no. NononoOOOHHHH GOD!

A truly horrible sound reverberates throughout the entire building and is broadcast across the airwaves

PRODUCER: [Crestfallen] I am so fired. [There is a long silence] Is he, dead?

DJ3000: [Happily] UPDATE COMPLETE. BEGINNING PLAYLIST SEQUENCE.

Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “hygiene,” however you think of it; clean, dirty and everything in between. The idea is to post music that YOU like and want to listen to. Just because something fits the theme, if you don’t like it, don’t post it. In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_3oOUfpdVY”.  When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. If your link doesn’t pick up, an admin will try to help out.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[in six days]

RIKKI: [opens studio, whistling…]

RIKKI: What in the hell? Oh God!

https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Fd-81bIEUYw

scotchnaut

Maybe I’m taking this too literal?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0wQU7fJEVQ

nomonkeyfun

I would just post GG Allin videos for the dirty part, but I’m at work.

SonOfSpam
LemonJello

Better than smelling like Axe Body Spray
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg

nomonkeyfun

One is water, the other can be used as a solvent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G-JCG4DaXw

SonOfSpam

Dude totally ripped off Weird Al, but it’s all good. (Just a little airborne, it’s still good)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtwJvgPJ9xw

SonOfSpam

It’s a product you need when you have dirty demons around the house.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o8Qqfu1pwQ

nomonkeyfun

From my favorite Talking Heads album. It may have something to do with the cover. It came out when I was just a young monkey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6uiTHMy92E

SonOfSpam

I think I like remembering this song exists more than the actual song. Whatever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC3y9llDXuM

Spanky Datass
yeah right

Welcome back to another edition of politically incorrect radio!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5x-a6rm4I0

nomonkeyfun

Now that I’ve had that one, I’d like to order a shot of something similar, but a little different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ar2VHW1i2w

Cuntler
yeah right

That’s good.

Cuntler
Cuntler

I love ruining these threads with Phish:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9kCMHNQFak

Spanky Datass

Lump : The Presidents ….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sj_U6vObUA

nomonkeyfun
ArmedandHammered

Last one, from my High School days, wearing my flannel shirts with the arms ripped off, jeans, biker boots and of course the rat tail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFJkNk6z3OE

LemonJello

Better get that to the cleaners…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=araU0fZj6oQ

LemonJello

Probably how you get stains like that:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RisBAkC0x8

King Hippo

GREAT BAND!!

ArmedandHammered

You would certainly not be cleaned after being:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFuB-2WkEX0

LemonJello

“Honey, they’re playing our song!”
-Rex Ryan

ArmedandHammered
BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

SonOfSpam

“How would 95% of this site’s commentists describe themselves?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJSRfztl_tc

LemonJello
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does it count as a DOUBLE SHOT if it’s thematically similar but different in both artist and title?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K55t6dXxuWI

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks, Mills Lane

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Something something cleanliness something something godliness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnIlmTJDlrg

Brocky

Just cuz I’ve been on a video game music kick latley:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKgBhxWMTGM&feature=youtu.be

SonOfSpam

Exene rhymes with clean, so, uh, that’s neat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhwlAJ82l-Y

LemonJello

After a week in the field, Sgt LemonJello would be happy to get rained on, just to feel a little cleaner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp-LBD_q0sQ

SonOfSpam

“You wanna get rained on? I know some people…”

– D. Trump

LemonJello

I like Xtina, wanna fight about it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rg3sAb8Id8

Brocky

Even as a young man with unrefined taste, I could tell christina was head and shoulders ahead of britney spears. I could walk into a department store, one of christina’s songs would be playing, and I wouldn’t blink twice.

If a spears song was on, 50/50 chance I’d walk out

SonOfSpam

DJ3000 worked really hard to make something happen that woulda happened anyway.

Still, I like his moxie.

yeah right

“The idea is to post music that YOU like and want to listen to. Just because something fits the theme, if you don’t like it, don’t post it.”

This disclaimer is a GOOD disclaimer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z068mdgEn4s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

tWBS and I feel personally attacked by that disclaimer