Welcome back to the Beat! Last time out, Tombstone and Gruff gave a Fight of the Year nominee, Bombshell and Captain Shrederator created the 0-4 club, and Death Roll became the first robot to go 4-0. Teams are finishing up their regular seasons, because it seems like this week and next week are the last “regular” fights, then… something in two weeks. Could it be more regular season fights? A Last Chance Rumble? Other things? We don’t really know, and everyone who does is under NDA rules and all so they’re not telling. Another robot could join the 4-0 club, while Bronco tries to avoid 0-3. Didn’t expect to hear that at the beginning of the season, did you? Onto the fights!

Minotaur vs. Shatter!
Minotaur: 2-3 (L, JD 3-0 vs. Whiplash; L, JD 3-0 vs. Gigabyte; W, KO 1:59 vs. Lucky–Desperado QF; W, KO 2:36 vs. End Game–Desperado SF; L, JD 3-0 vs. Black Dragon–Desperado Final)
Shatter!: 2-1 (L, JD 3-0 vs. Witch Doctor; W, JD 3-0 vs. WanHoo; W, KO 0:56 vs. Kingpin)

It’s Brazil vs. Brooklyn, and I can only wonder what Adam Wrigley brought to Ft. Greene to show the people, because I was unable to go to the watch party. The wins over Wan Hoo and Kingpin showed the strength of the hammer, both in impact power and in ability to withstand a large horizontal spinner blow, but Minotaur’s a different beast altogether. And a desperate one, as after falling to countrybot Black Dragon in the Desperado final the 2018 runner-up needs a win probably just to be in the conversation of the blob of .500 bots. Shatter! can avoid that altogether with what the NCAA would call a signature win. 3-1 with a win over Minotaur and the only loss to a potential 4-0 bots sounds pretty good. 2-2 with wins over Wan Hoo and Kingpin, less so.

Minotaur put on their heaviest top armor, as you do when facing a hammer bot. Shatter! went with the same setup they had for Witch Doctor and Wan Hoo, with front forks attached to the ablative armor, and Old Rusty, the AR 500 hammer head.

Shatter! went wide, going for the strafe move, because why box rush when you have mecanum wheels? Minotaur could turn enough to start grinding at whatever wrap that is in on top of the UHMW polyethylene ablative armor. Meanwhile, Shatter!’s hammer got through and got a good hit on the first shot or so, but it quickly lost its pop, as Minotaur broke one of the two weapon chains halving the power, which meant that the ablative armor would have to hold and Shatter! would have to push. Mecanum wheels don’t win shoving matches. And shoving matches won’t win against a steadily grinding away drum. Also a combination of hammer jumping and drum don’t mix well as then the drum bot can feast upon the underside which it loves to do. It was becoming an even worse fight for hammers, as in addition to Shatter! having no real power on the hammer blows, even when getting that shot in the drum well, Minotaur took them to the pulverizer, first to pin, then to hammer, and the cap fell off again. Yeah, this fight was turning south for hammers.

Meanwhile Minotaur kept grinding away until it finally landed the big majestic flip the opponent over shot. Shatter! was on its back and whether from the power of the hit or the weapon speed controller being shot it wasn’t going to get back over. Minotaur wins by KO in 2:34 and probably jumps any 2-2 bot looking for a shot into the 16.

Son of Whyachi vs. Kraken
Son of Whyachi: 2-1 (W, KO 1:36 vs. HUGE; L, KO 1:46 vs. Whiplash; W, KO 0:49 vs. Texas Twister)
Kraken: 1-1 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Ribbot; L, JD 2-1 vs. Blacksmith)

This… might not go well. I have no idea the strength of that feeder wedge on Kraken, but it’s going to have to take on Son of Whyachi’s deadly hammers. This also won’t go well for me because BattleBots Update posts on Tuesdays now that the bonus fights are on who the fuck knows when and they already made the Kenny Rogers Jackass joke, goddammit. Although in fairness, he took from the first one where he could have taken the vastly superior Kenny Rogers Jackass 2, where he could have mentioned that Kraken’s goal is to prevent the hammers from spinning with the wedge so it can fetch the hammers with its teeth for points. Yes, got the reversal! While we’re at it, put Kenny Florian in Will Sasso’s Caesar toga from that skit and have him say “I am Emperor Kenny. The gladiators must fight to please me!” (Can I get Shuntposting on that?)

All right, now I killed it.

Anyways, Son of Whyachi, like any other 2-1 bot, could use a win in the worst way. As far as the 3-1 bots go it’ll be fine, but at this point we’d have to parse the shit out of the 2-2s, and that’s going to be a lot of work. Kraken at this point has somehow only fought twice. That can’t possibly be right! Well, a win here would make it interesting but time is slipping for a fourth fight and Kraken would need a fourth fight.

Yes, Kraken went for the box rush. They slightly missed towards the screws, which was an issue because it meant Son of Whyachi could spin up. And again… this might not go well.

Well, it went slightly better than expected? Kraken tanked the first couple. The third less so much as it got flipped over and it looked like a wheel came off. So even if it did self-right it wasn’t going to do too much. Wally the Narwhal tried its best and mercifully it didn’t get obliterated by the several times heavier Son of Whyachi hammers. But hey, Kraken lasted a minute! Son of Whyachi by KO in 1:01. Totally counts!

RailGun Max vs. WanHoo
RailGun Max: 2-0 (W, KO 1:03 vs. MadCatter; W, KO 0:57 vs. Shellshock)
WanHoo: 2-1 (W, KO 1:49 vs. Captain Shrederator; L, JD 3-0 vs. Shatter!; W, JD 3-0 vs. Mammoth)

Well this one’s pretty simple. It’s the Battle of Shanghai! Or even, it’s the Battle of China! These two teams have faced off before in I’m assuming King of Bots, though I guess it could be Fighting My Bots! or Clash Bots. I hope it’s not Clash Bots, because that was apparently meh at best, even though/because it was sponsored by KFC. Safety regulations in the Chinese events still need work, from what I hear on the grapevine. Anyway, WanHoo’s Team Gladiator won that fight, so it’s up to Elaine Wu and Team Atom to get revenge. (Upon further review, it was more than likely FMB beetleweights, as Team Gladiator are the 2-time FMB champions in the 1.5 kg weight class.)

I’m surprised RailGun Max is still only on its third fight, but it did smoke out after its win over Shellshock. So who knows what internal damage was done there? They do have a minibot with them, named Platypus. No, don’t ask me why it’s named Platypus.

The two Chinese verts went weapon to weapon on the first exchange and RailGun Max’s eggbeater drum beat WanHoo’s twin disks, as the latter was spitting out its weapon belts. That means it would be a WanHoo trying to rush and slam to stop the eggbeater, and not run away like it was doing. That is not going to win the aggression and control points that are sorely needed considering unless something drastic happens they’re not going to win damage. Something drastic like RailGun Max catching them for another hit, but killing its own weapon in the process.

What ensued was a solid two minutes plus of pushing match. And not only that but for much of it the two bots were horns locked, neither budging. Maybe some angular movement, but there was a lot of stalemate. There was some smoke from WanHoo, but that was tire smoke, not drive motor smoke. The stalemate continued throughout the remainder of the fight, and so it went to the judges. I’m assuming due to the first 20 seconds of the fight, it was an easy decision. RailGun Max wins by unanimous decision and goes to 3-0. That should get them in, win, lose, or abstain. WanHoo at 2-2, probably not.

Cut Fights!

It was at this point some of the cut fights were shown, and I’m assuming some are missing due to future Science Channel bonus fights. Here’s the rundown, slightly shifted around for convenience’s sake:

Hannah Rucker’s Marvin had two highlighted fights, and if nothing else it showed its sturdiness because it was the only robot to my knowledge to have all four of its fights go the distance.

Marvin vs. Axe Backwards: Marvin by JD (I assume unanimous, but I’m not sure for all decisions… I wish BattleBots actually showed the difference)
Marvin vs. Falcon: Falcon by unanimous decision

This put Marvin and Falcon at 1-3 for the season. Axe Backwards went 0-4, joining Captain Shrederator and Bombshell. There were others with two highlighted fights, including extremely large robot Mammoth, fighting one extremely small robot, and two same-size and therefore small robots.

Mammoth vs. Foxtrot: Mammoth by KO in 1:31
Mammoth vs. Gemini: Gemini by KO in 1:41

Interestingly enough, this put Mammoth at 2-3 for the year, meaning they had five fights. Had they gone 3-2 it would’ve been curious to see how that would have been in the fray, considering the “toughest” fight Mammoth would’ve had was either Uppercut or WanHoo. So probably not great. Well, at 2-3 it’s moot. Someday the Danbys’ bot will actually work as intended but it wasn’t this day, as they fall to 0-2. Gemini should get a fight next week, as they are 1-2.

Another bot with two highlight fights was BattleSaw, which at the very least looked really cool, as it’s a ring spinner that looks like a giant buzzsaw. Unfortunately, as seen below:

BattleSaw vs. MadCatter: MadCatter by KO in 1:13
Extinguisher vs. BattleSaw: Extinguisher by KO in 2:03

Extinguisher will be the Episode 8 bonus fight when the Science Channel episodes pop back up, so we’ll see if that changes anything as it’s currently 1-0 on the site. MadCatter’s 1-1 after getting bisected by RailGun Max. BattleSaw is 0-2. With that knowledge, and with that fight not being posted yet, I’m guessing all the bonus fights are still missing save that Kingpin-Shatter! fight that was posted because who knows, but free robot fights, I’m not complaining.

Last of the two-highlight bots is second group of Watts family (not second generation, as Ian Watts is still the one competing and leading) The Four Horsemen. Now with SIX, count ’em, six robots. THAT IS STILL NOT FOUR. Is this robot a Monty Python and the Holy Grail joke? I doubt it because none of them are named Holy Handgrenade.

The Four Horsemen vs. SubZero: The Four Horsemen by KO in 2:07
The Four Horsemen vs. Double Jeopardy vs. Lucky: Lucky by JD

Unfortunately for all of us Double Jeopardy fired its two shots at Lucky, hitting the flipper head-on with one of the shots. I would’ve watched just The Four Horsemen vs. Double Jeopardy. It would be like several video games! Also they managed to beat SubZero by KO, which surprises and impresses me. SubZero is 1-2 and I could imagine having one of those bonus or Episode 13 fights. The Four Horsemen could have both, or two bonus fights, as they’re 1-1. Lucky’s win before the Desperado tournament was this rumble, which explains a little more why it was the 8 seed, but still it shouldn’t have been the 8 seed—we already knew it was 1-2 at this point. Meanwhile, the Woolley family’s shooter should absolutely get some more fights, because that’s the first we’ve heard of it this season.

Lastly, we saw the unaired rumbles that Tantrum and Kingpin won earlier in the season

Tantrum vs. Jasper vs. Uppercut: Tantrum by KO in 2:34
Kingpin vs. Daisy Cutter vs. Deep Six: Kingpin by KO in 0:57

Admittedly for Kingpin it won by being the last one still moving and the only one that didn’t entirely derp around. But it still counts. Meanwhile Tantrum is 2-1 and for that reason probably gets a fight against another potential in the mix robot, if it doesn’t have a bonus fight. Uppercut at 2-1 could sneak in there if it gets a win over a quality bot, if I look and see an extremely soft field. But its wins are Mammoth and Breaker Box, so emphasis on soft. 3-1 might earn it whatever a chance in the last spot or two up for grabs thing that they come up with jamboree. Kingpin to our knowledge is 1-1 but has a lacking drive. Daisy Cutter is 0-1 and I’m pretty sure they got yelled at for stuff during the event, so who knows if we get to see them. Deep Six could be interesting, as it’s also 2-1 but with its three fights being against four robots who have a combined one win, which is from the fight that it lost, so right now it seems in the sideshow pool. Oh, I guess 2-2 if you want to say it lost to the Test Box by KO but there’s no shame in that.

Back to the televised fights!

Witch Doctor vs. Gigabyte
Witch Doctor: 3-0 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Shatter!; W, KO 1:10 vs. Captain Shrederator; W, JD 3-0 vs. Whiplash)
Gigabyte: 2-1 (W, KO X:XX vs. Chronos; W, JD 3-0 vs. Minotaur; L, JD 3-0 vs. HUGE)

Gigabyte needs this one a bit more than Witch Doctor, if you can’t tell by the records. Win, lose, or draw, Witch Doctor’ll be in, but a win here (especially by KO) and a 4-0 record would possibly catapult it above Death Roll for definite top 4 seeding due to the tougher strength of schedule. I think they could be as high as the 2, assuming Bite Force wins its fight against (we’re pretty sure) Monsoon. Yes, a win there and Bite Force should deservedly get the #1 seed. Meanwhile, after a surprising loss to HUGE, where the anti-horizontal spinner wheels worked, Gigabyte could go from beating Minotaur to not being safe.

Still, it’s Witch Doctor that needs to come up with the proper driving, choosing the wedge over the plow from what it looked like, making sure that driver Mike Gellatly nails the box rush, those sorts of things. He totally nailed the box rush, by the ways, as the wedge got the push and popped Gigabyte onto the screws, meaning it was Witch Doctor getting to spin up as Gigabyte had to get down by spinning. And Gigabyte got down. And then got up a solid 12 feet in the air. And landed flipped but used that angled pipe to re-right, but it meant that Witch Doctor had control to push towards the wall and do the same exact thing, with a bounce off the Lexan to boot. The top protective part of Gigabyte’s shell came off from that second hit which probably isn’t good, I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the offense as well, but Witch Doctor kept it cornered, even if not getting the full 12 feet and approaching Bronco/Hydra territory. Again, these are vertical spinners. This is not their job.

Somehow through hit after hit (Chris counted 9) Gigabyte survived and for some of it still tried to spin, though the shell spinning gave out around the same time as Witch Doctor’s weapon motor smoked out. So after a 50-second onslaught it became a pushing match, and obviously the wedge will have the advantage over the full-body spinner. Just like if Gigabyte was spinning, the strategy was to get it into the corner, this time to let the hazards do some work, like the pulverizer, whose force went through the shell and collapsed a wheel off. Or finished it off after Witch Doctor’s hits jarred it loose. Either way, Gigabyte was down a wheel, and though it tried to get away Witch Doctor was right there to keep it in the corner and keep dropping the hammer to crush any last bit of hope for the Robotic Death Company’s spinner. Witch Doctor wins by KO in 2:17 and becomes the second bot to go to 4-0.

Breaker Box vs. Bloodsport
Breaker Box: 1-1 (W, JD 2-1 vs. Falcon; L, KO 2:17 vs. Uppercut)
Bloodsport: 1-1 (L, KO 1:06 vs. Black Dragon; W, JD 3-0 vs. Lucky)

It’s another “Jim Smentowski vs. these kids today” fight. Bloodsport’s captain Justin Marple is 23, and the team got together by competing in VEX Robotics competitions for high schoolers and college students. Jim Smentowski’s first robot, Hercules, competed at Robot Wars 1997 after he watched the previous year’s installment because everyone at work (some place called Industrial Light & Magic) was talking about it. Hercules fought fellow ILM worked and future MythBusting walrus Jamie Hyneman’s Blendo, and the result of that fight is why robot combat arenas are encased in 1.5-inch thick polycarbonate. As I’ve said, if there’s a safety thing that was implemented before about 2005, Jim Smentowski had something to do with it. Also he’s answered a bunch of my questions on the Team Nightmare page on Facebook, so thanks Jim!

As for the robots they’re both 1-1, though Bloodsport, with the win over Lucky and loss to Black Dragon, has looked slightly better in it. Breaker Box beat Falcon and lost to Uppercut, and yes, I’m implying a difference in quality of opponent. However, the wily vet’s seen enough overhead spinners to know how to deal with them, going for Breaker Box’s plow instead of the wedge due to the geometry. Minibot Hacker also returns.

Breaker Box had the right move (yes, box rush), as the two bots hit the wall, but from there it seemed like it had drive issues, and was doing more dancing than driving. Looks cool, sure, but not the most effective mode of transportation. And also rendered totally useless because it was the youths getting the geometry right, as Bloodsport quickly landed a perfect shot on Breaker Box’s right side and separating that arm of the hinge from the box. Slight problem. After another ten or so seconds Bloodsport hit the other side and snapped off the other side of the arm. Or as it’s more commonly known, took the arm clean off. Major problem as now Breaker Box is just a box hoping to not break. What do you do?

You go for the death or glory charge. And it landed death, killing the remaining drive and no chance to dance away this time. Bloodsport wins by KO in 1:36.

Whiplash vs. Texas Twister
Whiplash: 2-1 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Minotaur; W, KO 1:46 vs. Son of Whyachi; L, JD 3-0 vs. Witch Doctor)
Texas Twister: 2-1 (W, JD 2-1 vs. Black Dragon; W, KO 1:26 vs. Axe Backwards; L, KO 0:49 vs. Son of Whyachi)

Not quite the same youth vs. experience because the Vasquez family’s no rookies, but just a matchup between two 2-1 bots. Whiplash has gotten a semifinalist’s schedule in the first three fights—the runner-up Minotaur plus two other dangerous playoff bots from last year in Son of Whyachi and Witch Doctor. To be 2-1 through that it pretty good, but it would be a letdown to lose here and have to see if the number gets called. For Texas Twister, the controversial win over Black Dragon looks a whole lot better now than it did then, as Black Dragon won the Desperado tournament, beating Minotaur in the process, but Axe Backwards might be the lowest ranked of the 0-4 bots, so that win means minimal. The loss to Son of Whyachi was a missed opportunity to do something big, so this is probably Team Toad’s play-in. Otherwise it’s back to the ranch and another year of waiting for “Fuzzy” Mauldin. And he’s been waiting for a while, like since 2000, only getting as far as the superheavyweight quarters with IceBerg.

Both bots took extensive damage in their previous fights, including frame damage, Team Toad opting for a totally new frame on Texas Twister. They had the strategic options in this one, going for the slightly smaller and faster spinning disk or else Matt Vasquez would eat them alive, and Spitfire. Because sure. They opted for the undercutter angle rather than the over the top, which I think is in general a better option.

Whiplash’s opening box rush flipped Texas Twister over. So much for that. Then the lifter-spinner hit Texas Twister and flipped it back over. Never mind, all’s good. Then the weapon motor burned out. Never mind the never minding, that’s even worse.

Kay Mauldin’s come a long way in her driving this year, considering before the season started she hadn’t driven competitively in over a decade, but Whiplash was there lifting and bullying and Matt Vasquez is obviously a good enough driver to seize the initiative. And maybe get a little lucky with the screws, because as Whiplash pushed Texas Twister disk first into the hazard, the disk got stuck under the screws giving Whiplash opportunity to set up flipping the entire robot onto the screws. From there it was a question of whether the computer would be nice and reverse them out. Nope.

Meanwhile Whiplash was trying to take down Spitfire. Will Bales laughs in rake because Whiplash couldn’t get it. Oh yeah, but Whiplash wins by KO in 1:39. Texas Twister’s bubble bursts like the dot-com bubble after Fuzzy sold Lycos. Hey, I had to work it in somewhere.

Main Event: Bronco vs. HUGE
Bronco: 0-2 (L, KO 2:48 vs. Bite Force; L, JD 3-0 vs. Free Shipping)
HUGE: 2-1 (L, KO 1:36 vs. Son of Whyachi; W, KO 1:25 vs. Jasper; W, JD 3-0 vs. Gigabyte)

Okay, who had Bronco at 0-2? Okay liars, put your hands down. 0-1 yes. There’s no shame losing to Bite Force. You know who else has lost to Bite Force? Everyone! Except Chomp and she’s not here. So everyone here! The loss to Free Shipping due to a “bad batch of titanium” though? That one hurts, and yes, they get revenge in Vegas with the win over Free Shipping, but we’re in the here and now. And the here and now tells me that this isn’t an amazing matchup for Bronco, on account of there being very much to get under of HUGE, but very little that the spatula can actually touch. It has too much of a ground clearance, which is a thing now. To compensate, because Inertia Labs is nothing if not resourceful in the way they come up with configurations for every opponent, even if the anti-vert pwangers, like the goggles, they do nothing. It’s worked well for them since T-Minus went for an extra-long spatula against Hazard.

For HUGE they had to adjust on offense and defense. For defense they went to the anti-hammer top armor, as seen against hammers. And Whiplash. The offensive tool is the fun one, as Bronco became a unicorn! That’s actually what they called the attachment, a horn shaped addition to the top of the flipping arm to try and corral HUGE. For HUGE, needing a win to get to 3-1 and get in, they have bars for every size and can spin upwards or downwards depending on the situation. For Gigabyte for instance they spun downwards, but thanks to the Bronco mods they’ll be spinning upwards with a Bronco-sized bar. Yeah, Jonathan Schultz came prepared. They also came with a weird Faruq introduction. I don’t remember it off the top of my head but I have it specifically written as weird.

Anyway, this was a slow-moving fight as the two bots came out tentatively, trying to line the other off. HUGE got the better line though and made a clean cut through one of those top pieces of armor on Bronco. Is that part of the bad batch? Not sure. Bronco missed a flip, but they quickly showed that the unicorn horn worked, spinning and flipping HUGE. The unicorn horn worked, and though HUGE was stalking Bronco, and Jonathan Schultz was noting that Bronco was running away. HUGE’s bar was doing okay, but it didn’t have the same bite that it had earlier in the fight, actually stopping on Bronco’s armor. It was going to be a close fight as the two bots went back and forth, HUGE’s weapon losing some of its bite, Bronco getting the occasional flip but it not doing too much to the drive on HUGE, or one moment where it missed and rolled itself.

Late in the fight it could’ve gone either way until Bronco ran out of steam. At first I thought there was a small fire, but it was actually an orange LED light emanating from a hole in the armor. Granted, the orange LED light was not good, and neither was Bronco looking like it lost drive as HUGE came in to finish with a flourish. But it did go to the judges, who gave the unanimous decision to HUGE, which moves to 3-1.

Bronco is 0-3. Definitely nobody would’ve said that at the beginning of the year. Hands down, liars!

And that does it for today. This coming week we should see much of the field’s 4th fights, including Bite Force (vs. Monsoon). A win there as I said should lock up the #1 seed for the defending champ, while Monsoon at 1-2 hasn’t had the kind of season it would’ve wanted after a quarterfinal showing last year. We know the main event is one we’ve been waiting for since Team Whyachi unveiled their newest bot: Bronco vs. Hydra, 0-3 vs. 3-0, the flipper fight. And maybe I’ll give what I think the seeding’ll be, in addition to who’s in and who’s out. Here’s who’s definitely in.

Locks: Black Dragon (Desperado), Witch Doctor (4-0), DeathRoll (4-0), Bite Force (3-0), Hydra (3-0), RailGun Max (3-0), Skorpios (3-0), Tombstone (3-1), Whiplash (3-1), Son of Whyachi (3-1), HUGE (3-1), SawBlaze (3-1)

That’s 12 already, and that’s not even counting the 2-1 bots that are essentially win and in. Namely HyperShock, Lock Jaw, Yeti, and Valkyrie. There are others that are 2-1 like Bloodsport and Deep Six, but it’s a lot lower of a strength of schedule and as a result the .500 bots might get into the conversation. The leader in those would be the 3-3 Minotaur, above all the 2-2 bots. In part because Minotaur’s the runner-up, in part because they’ve come strong later in the year, and in part because thanks to the Desperado tournament they have 6 fights instead of 4. Out of the 2-2 bots I’d say Cobalt, Quantum, and RotatoR are the most likely to find themselves in the mix, and hell, let’s throw DUCK! in as a dark horse because everyone loves it, and Gigabyte because everybody fears it.

That’s 20-something bots in there, so barring a last-year Bombshell situation with Bronco that should have your field. With that, see you next week!