That’s…My Raiders? Our 2019 Oakland Raiders at the Bye

As I mentioned in the Raiders’ season preview, I made a pact with myself to not watch football this year.  I’ve actually held to it, which means that the only football I’ve seen has been the occasional highlight, but I’ve kept up with things reasonably well via gamecasts and fantasy football.  Which is how it’s happened that I’m aware that the Raiders are headed into their bye weekend with a 3-2 record, which is good enough for second place in the AFC West.  Their victories haven’t been anything to crow about, with wins over the Broncos, Colts, and Bears, and losses to the Chiefs and Vikings.  If their offense works, they win.  If not, they don’t.  They’ve definitely had a few “That’s My Raiders!” trademark moments, like almost letting the Colts come back in garbage time and blowing a 17-point lead against the Bears before eking out a win, but in general they’ve been pretty competent.  Rookie running back Josh Jacobs has been spectacular, and it looks like the team has shaken off the Antonio Brown blues and should be able to put together a halfway decent season.

But that’s about all I know, so instead of talking out my ass like I did during the Rugby World Cup preview (Watch rugby! It’s fun!), I’m just going to move on to something a bit more fun.  Here’s a collection of band names we brainstormed having to do with Trump’s imminent impeachment.  Contributions were made by reverendmayhem, cuntler, Low Commander, Sharkbait, wcs, and bfc, and hopefully nobody else that I’ve forgotten.

10000 Mulvaniacs
Mike Pence None the Richer
Collusion Delusion
Wilbur Ross and His Good-Time Ragtime Revue
Ukraine Clown Posse
Foster the Pompeo
Mars Bolton
Sister Kirstjen
Guns n’ Racists
ImPeaches by the Presidents of the United States of America
Jeff Sessions Band
Stephen Miller Band
Vanilla ICE
Collusion of Conformity
Turtle the Wet Sprocket
Spin Doctors
Hannity Kane
“Mother” by Mike “Danzig” Pence
Coulter Club
Peter (King), Paul,(Rand), Mary(land)
Rudy and the Blowfish
Neon Treason
Kellyanne Clarkson
Buttigieg Surfers (wait, not impeachment related)
Sean Spicer Girls
Song – Detachable Priebus
Portugal the Manafort
Depence Mode
Screaming Treeson
Phone Thugs n Disharmony
Melania At Work
Nirvanka
Jared Leto
KISShner
The Banned
Rick Perry
John MellenConcentrationCamp
John Cougar ConcentrationCamp
Eazy-E-moluments Clause
Sebastian GWARka
Grab them by the Insane Clown Pussy
Putin On the Ritz
Tom Cotton Eyed Joe
Spin Undergraduates
Felony Apple
Inspector General’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Donald in Chains

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Note: there is no stock pick for this week.  USO and SLV have been pretty flat, so we’ll just let them sit tight for another week.